Should we kick our roomate/buddy out?

[LetsGoA's]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

I am not anti-man at all. I am a college aged guy. I am gay and like men but feel very odd doing the one night stand thing with strangers or even with aquintances. The risk of sleeping around is not having the reliability of getting it later. It is one night and then I am left on my own. It hurts knowing that I'm not going to get that action ever again. Do you get what I am saying? Do you know what I mean? In a relationship you know sex, making out, cuddeling will be there when you want it for the most part.

The sex doesn't come regular if you don't have a FWB or a relationship. After a one night stand I am left empty and desperately trying to fill the sex void. Like who I am going to make out with now? Who am I going to sleep with now? Do you guys never have those awful feelings?

Do you know what I am saying. It is too HUGE of an effort to constantly be seeking, competing for, and searching for a one night stand. No I am not ugly. I look very good to be honest. And then on top of all that, what happens if I get emotionally attached or feel used afterwards? What happens if I get herpes, AIDS, bacterial diseases, etc.

Sex is one huge ordeal imo. Your opinions?

Well with all due respect, the majority of straight men really do not share the same views and emootions as say an effeminate gay male. I understand the uncertainty of future sex with one night stands, which is why straight males encourage each other to "play the feild", and always remind each other that "there's plenty of fish in the sea". When you are left empty as a man, there is nothing to do but go out and refill, or try again. Such is the world of one-night stands.

As far as that empty cuddly feeling or what ever you are talking about, I don't really miss that with a one night stand. Other-wise it would not be a one night stand. I don't strive for relationships with people I have on night stands. I find it best to 'keep it clean' and make a 'good impression' with some one I am striving to have a relationship with.

Sex is a huge ordeal, especially if you ain't gettin any. It's not that huge to me, along the lines of eating, sleeping, pooping, etc. Just somthing we do, and often times biology plays a key role, especially in men. Which is why I am led to believe his roommate is just lashing out because he can't get any.

The Lash out at everyone who gets laid but me card is classic example of a typical heterosexual males response to not getting any action.

[artsyguy]

I see. The gay man field is not all that different. It just feels like such a huge hassle for me (as an individual) to make an effort and seek it out. You know? Like it's a challenge that I really don't want to have to do. When I could release myself in another safe way. haha. not to be gross.

So when you are looking for a one night stand you do not "keep it clean" or make a "good impression" on purpose?? Wow. No wonder I've been hurt. More than 1/2 the guys treated me like garbage during the one night stand thing. Ya know rude, sarcastic, bad attitude, demanding, forceful. They could have just said "I don't wish to be your friend. I don't want to get to know you. This is only for sex. Do you want to do this or not?" is that too much to ask for?? Just curious.

As for this topic about Chris. Ya he might be envious and a bit of a whiner, but so what I'd just be direct and say "Hey, don't wanna lecture from you. Please don't lecture the guests". end of story.

Originally Posted by LetsGoA's

Well with all due respect, the majority of straight men really do not share the same views and emootions as say an effeminate gay male. I understand the uncertainty of future sex with one night stands, which is why straight males encourage each other to "play the feild", and always remind each other that "there's plenty of fish in the sea". When you are left empty as a man, there is nothing to do but go out and refill, or try again. Such is the world of one-night stands.

As far as that empty cuddly feeling or what ever you are talking about, I don't really miss that with a one night stand. Other-wise it would not be a one night stand. I don't strive for relationships with people I have on night stands. I find it best to 'keep it clean' and make a 'good impression' with some one I am striving to have a relationship with.

Sex is a huge ordeal, especially if you ain't gettin any. It's not that huge to me, along the lines of eating, sleeping, pooping, etc. Just somthing we do, and often times biology plays a key role, especially in men. Which is why I am led to believe his roommate is just lashing out because he can't get any.

The Lash out at everyone who gets laid but me card is classic example of a typical heterosexual males response to not getting any action.

[LetsGoA's]

You see, the fundamental thing about guys is they dont WANT to be mean. Many times they don't want to be honest because, well frankly, the truth can hurt. It is much easier to say "Ill call you", than it is to say "This was just for sex, please dont call me, if i have not found some one new, and i am horny ill give you a call".

And no, I do not look to keep it clean, or to make a good first impression, or try to find that special some one, or try to pretend im somthing im not, when it comes to one night stands. I just want to get laid with some one I am attracted to that is attracted to me. Call me crazy but a bar, reaking of cigs and stale beer, does not seem like the ideal place for me to find a wife, much less someone i would want to have a seriouse relationship with.

For example, my last girl friend I met coaching 10 year old basketball at the boys and girls club. We worked together, I took her on a date, followed by a few more, at which time it started to get serious and was taken to the next level.

If you court someone before you screw, chances are the relationship has a better chance of meaning somthing for a longer period of time. Just my two cents from a used up college boy.

And i still think they should get their clown roommate laid

[artsyguy]

or take him out on "The Town"

Originally Posted by LetsGoA's

You see, the fundamental thing about guys is they dont WANT to be mean. Many times they don't want to be honest because, well frankly, the truth can hurt. It is much easier to say "Ill call you", than it is to say "This was just for sex, please dont call me, if i have not found some one new, and i am horny ill give you a call".

And no, I do not look to keep it clean, or to make a good first impression, or try to find that special some one, or try to pretend im somthing im not, when it comes to one night stands. I just want to get laid with some one I am attracted to that is attracted to me. Call me crazy but a bar, reaking of cigs and stale beer, does not seem like the ideal place for me to find a wife, much less someone i would want to have a seriouse relationship with.

For example, my last girl friend I met coaching 10 year old basketball at the boys and girls club. We worked together, I took her on a date, followed by a few more, at which time it started to get serious and was taken to the next level.

If you court someone before you screw, chances are the relationship has a better chance of meaning somthing for a longer period of time. Just my two cents from a used up college boy.

And i still think they should get their clown roommate laid

[ogplife]

Wess I'm on your side. You are not using anyone and I feel your roomate is out of control for talking to your ladies about his ethics. I do have an interesting question for you though. Your house is a bachelor pad right? If "Chris" turns out to be gay and he starts bringing his partners over every night to do their thng in his room and serve OJ in the mornings can he still stay?

[endersshadow]

Originally Posted by beowulf7

Clearly, Christian people think leading a homosexual life is immoral. How would you like someone like that making a statement about the type of lifestyle you lead? I personally am not in a position to criticize wesside's or your lifestyle. But I'm just saying that criticism (esp. if you bring religion into it) works both ways.

Double standard, huh?

Discussing a topic is only meaningful if the other person's reading/listening. Artsyguy chooses what he responds to and ignores the rest. There's really no point in replying to him.

[ayersd1]

What's the update?

[emdotjaydot]

Sounds like "Chris" is the mother hen in your home. He gets on your case about your flings because he feels like it is inappropriate.

It sounds like he keeps all of you grounded and kind of gives you a reality check.
I bet you would miss him if he was gone...

Best to just deal with it and accept that your roommate is just a bit more mature than the rest of you.

[miu]

Originally Posted by emdotjaydot

Sounds like "Chris" is the mother hen in your home. He gets on your case about your flings because he feels like it is inappropriate.

It sounds like he keeps all of you grounded and kind of gives you a reality check.
I bet you would miss him if he was gone...

Best to just deal with it and accept that your roommate is just a bit more mature than the rest of you.

That's fine, but I still think that talking to their dates about their lack of morals is very rude and inexcusable.

[wesside]

Originally Posted by ayersd1

What's the update?

Nothing big happening now. Talked to the guys (minus Chris). Agreed that we'd make a couple of changes, for 'Chris'. Give it one more chance.
No more "pounding on the walls" hook ups. Keep it low, keep private. It was fun while it lasted
Also going to tone it down whenever a few girls come over, and stay out of each others way if he doesnt want to join. Usually we'd be all over the house doing stuff. Sometimes Chris would chill with us. If he doesnt want to join, we'll take it to the den or the bar where its quieter.

I am not going to tell them, nor am I ever, to not to bring a guest over for the night. That was never an issue. So long as they dont bring in a crazy chic, or move someone in or something, Im cool with it and so should he.

I told him all of this and how his **** has to stop from his end as well. No more hitting below the belt and causing any hostility.
We're willing to make changes, and this is the farthest Im willing to go. And if things dont get better, I will be forced to make changes I dont want to make.
I think he got the picture. He said he was cool with that and he'll stop being such an *******.

Im dead serious now. I dont mind keeping things out of the kitchen and living room since the noise carries over very well in there. Besides, the den and bar are pretty much like a living room and kitchen anyways. But this aint going to be some slippery slope where I eventually get squeezed out of the house.

If **** dont change around here my next post is going to be titled:
"Should we help our newly ex-roomate move out of the house?"