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Old 04-27-2008, 11:23 AM
Location: TX
5,412 posts, read 14,044,714 times
Reputation: 1700


Congrats to you. I guess I'm too new to this sub-forum to know your situation. I realize divorce is never easy and always expensive. But I'm sure it'll be worth it if your wife is driving you bonkers. Hopefully you'll get at least that 1 child (full custody) if your lawyer can convince the judge your wife is not able to provide for him.

Old 04-27-2008, 01:13 PM
Location: In my mind
630 posts, read 2,006,293 times
Reputation: 682
Shuke - Welcome back!!

Gald you spent the time to come to the conclusion that is best for you. This divorce stuff is always difficult, been there done that more than once. You may get physical custody of your kids, especially if the court talks with them, or if a mediator talks with them. She doesn't take care of them or the household, and that is not an environment for them to be in. They need the stability of a clean home, not because they clean it, and know that they will be fed, not just pulling junk from the freezer.

I wish you all of the best in this process, there will be highs and lows.

Take care of yourself and your children.
Old 04-27-2008, 01:16 PM
Location: Earth
3,798 posts, read 6,027,257 times
Reputation: 2521
Originally Posted by shuke View Post
That's the post of the day right there, moonsavvy! Maybe even the post of the week or even the month! Just the right thought there... and, yes, it does feel like life beginning again! Definitely puts me in a better mood when I realize the current situation won't go on forever... or go on for another 15 years and then end with the same result, only more costly for me and with fewer earning years until retirement.

And thanks for the hugs!! btw... I heard you were a hottie... I'm marking you down on the short list!
I win the post of the day? YESSSS

*visualizes her reward* Ah that was nice...

OK you're on the right track my friend! I'm happy for you.

Me, a hottie? Well I won't argue with that statement *removes the kleenex from her nose*

Nice to see you, and I have to ask, what's a short list?
Old 04-28-2008, 03:08 PM
12,438 posts, read 13,091,627 times
Reputation: 8888
Good to have you back on board Shuke, and best wishes on your journey, it takes a lot of courage, and just know that you have a lot of support here on C-D.
Old 04-28-2008, 03:26 PM
Location: New England
786 posts, read 801,414 times
Reputation: 553
Thanks, DimSumRaja!

One little update from the weekend, just so everyone can get a chuckle from my misery. We finished our basement last fall and moved the kids' playroom down there. It's all carpeted and heated with a gas-burning stove, so it's really comfy. Got a nice, new Samsung 40" HDTV and a nice new cherry-finished TV stand to put it on. So about half the basement is now the kids' playroom, and the other half is my home office. Anyhow...

Over the winter, the kids made quite a mess in their area. Of course, the wife never cleaned any of it up. She was looking at it like the kids, aged 7, 6, and 4, should be cleaning up their mess. And while the wife was barricaded up in her bedroom after they got home from school, the kids would get all kinds of food and drag it down there... yogurts, grated cheese, cookies, nuts, ice cream, maple syrup... you name it. And I was of the opinion that the wife should at least be supervising this and at most taking the lead on getting it cleaned up. So, while I was working big hours over the winter, I would only occasionally mention the big mess, and she's just say it was up to the kids to clean it all up. Mind you, there were wrappers strewn around, grated cheese dropped on the carpet, a few empty ice cream containers, assorted pieces of silverware were buried under the rubble, etc....

So, last Friday afternoon, the missus announced that the kids had the weekend to clean up the mess or they would lose their TV privilege for 1 week. Now, the oldest boy really has a hard time focusing on anything like this... the best contribution he can make is to stay the heck out of the way while others do the work. The 6 year-old girl is turning into the family workhorse, though. She does more housework than her mother does... I've caught the 6 year-old girl several times with a mop, mopping the kitchen floor and doing other assorted chores.

So come Sunday afternoon, after church, I gathered all 3 together and started them working on the cleanup. Didn't take long for the boy to get frustrated and ask to go outside... OK, I thought... at least he'll be out of the way. The 4 year-old was too little to be much help, so after about 10 minutes, the 6 year-old was in tears because no one was helping her clean up the sty... and I was kind of observing what kind of help she would get from the other two. Mind you, the wife was not in the house... she had a figure skating lesson scheduled while we were at church, and then she went shopping after that.

[sidenote: I take the kids to church... wife doesn't even go on major holidays like Christmas or Easter, let alone regular weekly services].

After the other two basically quit on her, I started to work on the project with her and the 6 year-old and I cleaned up the whole mess. Took a couple of hours, and with the 4 year-old was pitching in doing what she could (which wasn't much, but she got credit for trying), we finally finished the project.

Of course, the wife never lifted a finger to clean anything up, but did praise the kids - especially the 6 year-old - for the good work they did Sunday afternoon while she was out spending money.

So there's another glimpse into the shuke household.
Old 04-28-2008, 03:39 PM
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 77,122,397 times
Reputation: 22814
Originally Posted by shuke View Post
So there's another glimpse into the shuke household.
Yeah, I think you will be better off with 3 kids as opposed to 4... And the 4th one runs up the credit cards, too.
Old 04-28-2008, 04:29 PM
Location: I'm not lost, I'm exploring!
3,402 posts, read 11,982,472 times
Reputation: 5714
Good job Shuke.

Just remember, don't base your decisions off of what other people think or say, stick to your guns whatever they may be.


If you need a footwarmer let me know.
Old 04-28-2008, 05:00 PM
Location: New England
786 posts, read 801,414 times
Reputation: 553
Originally Posted by Fiddlekitten View Post
Good job Shuke.

Just remember, don't base your decisions off of what other people think or say, stick to your guns whatever they may be.


If you need a footwarmer let me know.
I need whatever you got, kitty! Have a bun warmer?

I was starting to wonder if the cat had gotten your tongue or what. Glad to see you're still speaking to me!

And thanks for the hugs!!

Old 04-28-2008, 08:07 PM
Location: For Pig Latin Ess-Pray Ee-Thray
2,182 posts, read 5,304,796 times
Reputation: 3909
Shuke Ive read a few of your posts and Im surprized you havent punched that woman.

PLEASE do not leave your daughter with that woman. That poor child is only six and shes trying to do housework to please you and her Mom. If you leave her there she will end up with no childhood taking care of the house and her brother. I dont even like kids and I feel sorry for her. :sad:
Old 04-28-2008, 10:33 PM
Location: California
598 posts, read 1,832,950 times
Reputation: 445
20 thousand dollars on a credit card?!?!? Geez!

Thanks, lady, that makes all us women look just great....
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