Since it's technically still Mon. (at least where I am), here are a few more jokes.
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy
nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' So he
tied her up and went golfing.
*****
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the
house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack
your bags. I won the lottery!'
The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain
stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'
*****
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the
other is a husband.
*****
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Suddenly, her
husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more
butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them!
TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE
BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER
listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you
CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always
forget to salt them. Use the! salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at
him.. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to
fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you
what it feels like when I'm driving.'
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