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Old 05-05-2008, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,225 posts, read 22,593,544 times
Reputation: 24023

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Should the husband help around the house, or is his job just bringing in the money?
Do you think that he should have to help do laundry? What about running the dishes through the dishwasher? Sweeping, vacuuming, dusting, cooking, shopping,paying the bills,etc. Any of these? I think that he feels like he is the provider of the family. He brings home the money.
I also think, that he see`s me as a homemaker. So, while I have two things going at one time, and an arm full of clean laundry, is it ok for him to sit and relax on the couch, since he has to go to work later?
Hmmmm...I think that he could offer to help, don`t you, or not?
Opinions?
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Old 05-05-2008, 05:28 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 41,367,562 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
Should the husband help around the house, or is his job just bringing in the money?
Do you think that he should have to help do laundry? What about running the dishes through the dishwasher? Sweeping, vacuuming, dusting, cooking, shopping,paying the bills,etc. Any of these? I think that he feels like he is the provider of the family. He brings home the money.
I also think, that he see`s me as a homemaker. So, while I have two things going at one time, and an arm full of clean laundry, is it ok for him to sit and relax on the couch, since he has to go to work later?
Hmmmm...I think that he could offer to help, don`t you, or not?
Opinions?
That's not his job...his job is providing.
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Old 05-05-2008, 05:30 PM
 
Location: Bay Area
2,406 posts, read 6,977,102 times
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My husband brings in the income, while I, though do some type of work (getting into law school), bring in no income. He works quite a bit, and long hours at that. I am home quite a bit more than him as well.

That being said, we definitely share the housework. I cook, he cleans the kitchen. We share the laundry. Other house cleaning gets taken care of from the outside, but still we share the what needs to be done around the house. I can not ever imagine me doing the laundry and he not helping, but just sitting there.

I do not think it matters who makes the money, you are not a maid, if he shares the home, he shares the chores that go along with it.
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Old 05-05-2008, 05:34 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, North Carolina
115 posts, read 408,048 times
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Well you did ask...if he's working all day long and all you're doing is staying at home he should not have to help out around the house. You didn't mention if you have kids, that would change my opinion a little. But i find it very hard to believe that it would take 40 hours a week to maintain a home.
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Old 05-05-2008, 05:44 PM
 
Location: Catonsville, MD
2,358 posts, read 5,468,859 times
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I may be a little biased since I am a woman who stays home while my hubby works (or at least I used to -- I now work part-time.) Are there young children in your family that you have primary care of? If so, I absolutely believe that the husband should be helping out at home. A stay at home mom's job (or stay at home dad) is a 24 hour a day job with no breaks. My husband leaves his job 11 miles away. Does my hubby always help? No, but he says all I have to do is ask. However, when I ask, he wants to do the task in his own time. So the dishes sit there for a day or the laundry gets done later than I would choose to have it done. Since I can't stand to have dirty dishes sitting in the kitchen, I no longer ask him to help out with dishes. Now that I work part-time, I think he should help out more, but that hasn't exactly happened. I absolutely cannot imagine lying on the sofa napping while somebody was working away in the kitchen. It's not in my nature NOT to ask if I can help. Is this a female trait?

I think in our house we have the all too common problem of me thinking he should SEE that I need help and offer to help. He thinks that if I need help, I should just ask. Being who I am (and maybe THIS is a female trait,) I don't like to ask for help; I think help should be offered. Crazy, I know.

Fortunately, I don't often get disgusted with him because once he gets home from work, he usually takes over child care. When that happens, I have no problems with doing the housework. In fact, I enjoy being by myself in relative quiet. Even if I am vacuuming. And he heaps praise on me about how he couldn't do the job he does unless I did all I do at home. So with those things, I don't really mind usually (though there are moments when I am sick of cleaning up after everybody.)

I'm curious to see how others comment on this topic.
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Old 05-05-2008, 05:45 PM
 
308 posts, read 1,475,359 times
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If the wife stays home, I would be wondering why the work wasn't done by the time he got home to begin with.
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Old 05-05-2008, 05:49 PM
 
663 posts, read 5,278,284 times
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I see myself as a stay at home wife because while I work, I don't work 40 hours a week, and I hate my job (it's not a career track job as well). Hubby works 80 hours a week. I try and do as much of the housework as I can. Ideally, I don't think he should have to do much--he has a few assigned chores but that's it. I try to take care of it all before he comes home.
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Old 05-05-2008, 05:50 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,225 posts, read 22,593,544 times
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Yes, we have a 9 yr. old. He works 2nd shift.
I should add that he normally gets breakfast in bed. Isn`t that sweet?? LOL...
There are times that he works 7 days a week. This month, he has been working 5, so when that happens, I can understand why he wouldn`t offer to help, ya` know?
Thats alot of hours, so I don`t say anything on that one, but when he gets the weekends off, whats up with that?
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Old 05-05-2008, 05:56 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Kentucky
820 posts, read 2,591,039 times
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I only had a short time where I was a stay at home mom. I do think that a man should offer to help with some things in this situation. However, I saw the home as my job meaning that was what I did. I tried to have things done while he was gone and then we could enjoy the kids together after he got home. Otherwise, we both could have worked and both had to take care of the home after we got home granted with me probably still doing the bulk. I considered myself very fortunate to be able to experience that lifestyle.
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Old 05-05-2008, 06:00 PM
 
Location: Bike to Surf!
3,080 posts, read 9,937,572 times
Reputation: 2978
If the SAH spouse gets up at the same time as the working spouse, works at housework all day (with a few 15-20 minute breaks + an hour for lunch) and then is still doing chores when the working spouse gets home, then the working spouse should help out immediately upon returning.

Then again, if the SAH spouse sleeps in 2 hours, delays starting the housework 2 hours, or takes a 2 hour break during the day, then the working spouse should (equitably) not begin helping out until after those 2 hours have passed beyond his return from work. At that point, they've both been working for the same amount of time, and the working spouse should start helping out again.

Then again, if your chores + house work takes 40 hours a week, maybe it's time to downsize the house. Kids are another story, but they fall under the first example.

Last edited by sponger42; 05-05-2008 at 06:01 PM.. Reason: Changed wife/husband to spouse
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