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Old 05-08-2008, 10:06 AM
 
Location: Omaha, NE (the O-N-E)
226 posts, read 655,874 times
Reputation: 66
Default Need some advice...

Ok, so I've really been into pegging with my wife. I have read on online blogs that many men enjoy getting pegged by their wives and that their wives enjoy it too because it gives them a sense of power and they get off on that...

However, we have been doing it on and off for like the last 3 years but my wife never really gets into it as much as I would like her to... She says that since there is no stimulation in it for her, she can't really get off on it but she does it to pleasure me...

I want to get her into the whole dominatrix thing with leather whips n all that and role reversal but I feel like she isn't really feelin that cause whenever she does peg me its always the same position and its always very quick (like 5 - 10 mins) some of that might be my fault too... but I want to spice it up more and get her more into the power thing...

Any advice?

***Serious replies only *** thanks

 
Old 05-08-2008, 10:19 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
12,917 posts, read 21,323,854 times
Reputation: 10054
Well... it's obvious that your wife isn't into this pegging or dominatrix thing. However, it might help if you reassure her that if she goes along with it, it's not going to be the only way you make love with her. Mix it up and try to show some enthusiasm for having sex a more conservative romantic way. Variety is all well and good, but I think that she might be concerned that things are going to get too wild and permanently crazy for her. You seem to be more into having sex as a sport and going to new extremes. Remember that especially for a woman, sex is also about expressing affection, love and intimacy. For instance, I'd bet she'd have a (happy) heart attack if one day she was tired from work and you gave her a gentle body massage and didn't end it with sex.

How long have the two of you been married? Do you enjoy her company outside of the bedroom?
 
Old 05-08-2008, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Omaha, NE (the O-N-E)
226 posts, read 655,874 times
Reputation: 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
Well... it's obvious that your wife isn't into this pegging or dominatrix thing. However, it might help if you reassure her that if she goes along with it, it's not going to be the only way you make love with her. Mix it up and try to show some enthusiasm for having sex a more conservative romantic way. Variety is all well and good, but I think that she might be concerned that things are going to get too wild and permanently crazy for her. You seem to be more into having sex as a sport and going to new extremes. Remember that especially for a woman, sex is also about expressing affection, love and intimacy. For instance, I'd bet she'd have a (happy) heart attack if one day she was tired from work and you gave her a gentle body massage and didn't end it with sex.

How long have the two of you been married? Do you enjoy her company outside of the bedroom?
Its funny you say that because we have "traditional sex" all the time sometimes upwards of 5 times a week...

We have been together since I was 18 and she was 15, now I am 22 and she is 19... We are best friends too, a lot of the time we just lay in bed and talk to each other and we travel together and pretty much do everything together from cooking dinner to fixing up our car!
 
Old 05-08-2008, 10:54 AM
 
Location: In the woods next to the ocean
3,931 posts, read 8,182,984 times
Reputation: 5821
I have never heard the term "pegging" before, but I think I may have an idea what you mean.
Without getting graphic, let me know if I am on the right track.

If somebody said "Sit on It!"
And you said "I would LOVE to!"
You would probably be into pegging.

Right?
 
Old 05-08-2008, 11:05 AM
 
Location: Omaha, NE (the O-N-E)
226 posts, read 655,874 times
Reputation: 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Freddy View Post
I have never heard the term "pegging" before, but I think I may have an idea what you mean.
Without getting graphic, let me know if I am on the right track.

If somebody said "Sit on It!"
And you said "I would LOVE to!"
You would probably be into pegging.

Right?
lol... just google it dude! There's lots of men into it actually... they even make X-rated films of it!

But yes you are right... and no matter what connotation some people connect with it it completely hetero since it is a woman doing it to you!
 
Old 05-08-2008, 11:18 AM
 
Location: In the woods next to the ocean
3,931 posts, read 8,182,984 times
Reputation: 5821
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCiEtY's ReBel View Post
...There's lots of men into it actually... they even make X-rated films of it!
... and no matter what connotation some people connect with it it completely hetero since it is a woman doing it to you!
It was just the term I wasn't familiar with, not the concept or the activity.

I have rented "Strap-On Queens Meet the Hell's Angles" several times.

I might even have repressed pegging tendencies because I enjoyed my last Colonoscopy a lot more than I should have.

But that could have been the Demerol.
 
Old 05-08-2008, 11:30 AM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,890 posts, read 12,175,709 times
Reputation: 8400
Power plays, role reversals, 24/7's and other more "exotic" forms of BDSM require a certain...umm...comfort level on the part of the dom/me. Most would think that's the job of the sub but it isn't.

You say you want to get into this side of your relationship and that you've been pegging for three years, but did you start off nice and easy or jump right into the heavy stuff? Sometimes a dom/me can be "brought along" or trained to both administer and enjoy the higher-end practices by first exposing them to the basics and fully exploring them. After all, you wouldn't expect someone who has only played around with Victoria Secret's fur cuffs to grasp the niceties of blood play...

Maybe go back a step or two? Is there a segment of the BDSM world that you two haven't fully explored, one that might lead to her comfort level being increased before you attempt the pegging again?
 
Old 05-08-2008, 12:15 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
12,917 posts, read 21,323,854 times
Reputation: 10054
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCiEtY's ReBel View Post
Ok, so I've really been into pegging with my wife. I have read on online blogs that many men enjoy getting pegged by their wives and that their wives enjoy it too because it gives them a sense of power and they get off on that...
I suggest that you stop surfing the internet and reading these sex blogs... anyway, my boyfriend and I have been together for five years, and well... we are fairly conservative in our bedroom activities. Fortunately, we both have the same attitudes, so all's good. And if I told him about this pegging stuff, he would turn whiter than he already is. lol. And that's fine with me. We like to leave that potential peg hole area completely alone.

At least your wife is trying to please you. I'd suggest going very slow and always be ready to accept gracefully that she may never want to do this sort of stuff. Just because you read about it in several blogs, doesn't mean that we are all doing it or even want to do it. For a significant number of us, that hole is just meant for bodily waste material to exit.

I hope that my post is PG-13 enough.
 
Old 05-08-2008, 12:25 PM
 
Location: Lexington, MA
250 posts, read 610,298 times
Reputation: 458
This is the relationships forum, not the sex forum. Since sex is generally regarded as a part of a normal relationsihp, I usually allow some latitude when sex is introduced as a topic.

But doggone. I just looked up what peggig is, and in the words of Jules Winfield (converted to PG-13), that's some screwed up repugnant stuff going on there.

Ok., well... now that I've composed myself, let me close by saying the over/under on this thread getting locked is one hour.
 
Old 05-08-2008, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,890 posts, read 12,175,709 times
Reputation: 8400
Mod - much of the BDSM world revolves around relationships - they just aren't ones that are easily understood - or accepted - by the mainstream. In fact, I've known of such couples that have lasted far longer than your typical run-of-the-mill type.

Just FWIW.
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