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Old 05-12-2008, 01:20 PM
 
545 posts, read 1,294,466 times
Reputation: 190

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen View Post
Friends of my Mother who were really a GREAT same sex couple - did lots of things together, really ENJOYED each other, laughed a lot. Just two peas in a pod.

One just died of cancer - only made it a few months past diagnosis, and had seemed fit as a flee up until then.

I just can't understand why these things often happen to couples who are really good for each other. Of course it's a tragedy when this happens to anyone, no matter what their relationship is like. But these two had been together for about 8 years and were so happy together.

She was a classy lady and full of a lust for life that we don't see often enough with people. She was also witty and funny and kind. It was like the two of them found each other and it all started to make sense for them.

Thank goodness they had enough money that the other partner was able to quit working to nurse her through these last few months, but now who knows what she will do. I guess she has to start all over again.

It makes me so sad that things like this happen, but I suppose it is also a good reminder for us all to try and find that lust for life and enjoy each day that we have.

Have a good one all.
REPLY: In reality, none of us are 'good' except in our own eyes ; as human beings we have hearts that are often rebellious, self serving, prideful, and even wicked. We all have a deeper darkside to us which we dont want to admit too . And we all have violated Gods moral standards designed for our own protection and wellbeing . In short, we are just 'passing thru' this breif interlude of life and it would behoove us to make sure we are ready for the next one that never does end. God told us how to be prepared for this, and now the ball is in our court.
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Old 05-12-2008, 01:34 PM
 
Location: Finger Lakes, NY
223 posts, read 622,575 times
Reputation: 252
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrKrabs View Post
It will all make sense in the end....even though it may make no sense now.
Whether you are religious or not, this is so true. My hubby found a job opportunity in a location that would make me soooooo happy and bring me closer to home. He had everything going for him and we were almost certain he was going to get the job. He didn't, and a week later our good friend and neighbor brought to our attention that his wife was just diagnosed with a rather advanced stage of bone marrow cancer. Now I can't say how happy I am that my hubby didn't get that job because now we are there for them when they needed friends and help more than anything. I've helped raise money for them because they are not well off and I will be assisting in a fundraiser at the fire hall soon also. My hubby mows their lawn and we have worked together to get their garden going. They are the best couple anyone could ever witness ... always doing everything together. They live so naturally lovingly with each other, which my hubby and I strive to be like them.

Best of luck to your friend. These things shouldn't happen to good people!
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Old 05-12-2008, 01:47 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,843 posts, read 55,081,617 times
Reputation: 22813
Quote:
Originally Posted by IbeDavid View Post
I read it carefully and did not find the answer to a natural or disease-induced death of people who are happy and loved. There's nothing sinful to it, you can't blame it on distribution, violence, or any of the other mentioned excuses. I specified the type of death because excuses and rationalizations can be found if it happens due to an accident.
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Old 05-12-2008, 01:52 PM
 
Location: SoCal - Sherman Oaks & Woodland Hills
12,980 posts, read 19,012,160 times
Reputation: 10491
Quote:
Originally Posted by banger View Post
I would gladly give ALL I own to have one more hour with my mine.
This part of your post just about brought tears to my eyes and makes me want to hurry home and give my wife a hug and a kiss.
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Old 05-12-2008, 02:05 PM
 
3,490 posts, read 5,201,256 times
Reputation: 3858
Quote:
Originally Posted by banger View Post
I worked with guys that would give half of what they own to get rid of their wives.

I would gladly give ALL I own to have one more hour with my mine.

Hugs from Hobokenkitchen.
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Old 05-12-2008, 02:07 PM
 
3,490 posts, read 5,201,256 times
Reputation: 3858
Quote:
Originally Posted by IbeDavid View Post
REPLY: In reality, none of us are 'good' except in our own eyes ; as human beings we have hearts that are often rebellious, self serving, prideful, and even wicked. We all have a deeper darkside to us which we dont want to admit too . And we all have violated Gods moral standards designed for our own protection and wellbeing . In short, we are just 'passing thru' this breif interlude of life and it would behoove us to make sure we are ready for the next one that never does end. God told us how to be prepared for this, and now the ball is in our court.

Don't know what you are trying to say here.

What do 'deeper darksides' have to do with this?

I'm sure the lady that passed was prepared in her own way. I am not at all worried about her. I worry about those who are left behind.
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Old 05-12-2008, 02:38 PM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,078 posts, read 8,900,540 times
Reputation: 3620
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen View Post
Friends of my Mother who were really a GREAT same sex couple - did lots of things together, really ENJOYED each other, laughed a lot. Just two peas in a pod.

One just died of cancer - only made it a few months past diagnosis, and had seemed fit as a flee up until then.

I just can't understand why these things often happen to couples who are really good for each other. Of course it's a tragedy when this happens to anyone, no matter what their relationship is like. But these two had been together for about 8 years and were so happy together.

She was a classy lady and full of a lust for life that we don't see often enough with people. She was also witty and funny and kind. It was like the two of them found each other and it all started to make sense for them.

Thank goodness they had enough money that the other partner was able to quit working to nurse her through these last few months, but now who knows what she will do. I guess she has to start all over again.

It makes me so sad that things like this happen, but I suppose it is also a good reminder for us all to try and find that lust for life and enjoy each day that we have.

Have a good one all.
I really believe that people come into and out of our lives for a reason and even though it may not be evident immediately as to why they are there - the reason will reveal itself. I have loved and lost and you never seem to have enough time with those one you do love but what you have to remember is to live each day like it's your last, show that person you love them and if you only get to have them for a short amount of time, know that the little time spent was better than not at all.
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Old 05-12-2008, 02:48 PM
 
Location: Looking East and hoping!
28,227 posts, read 13,833,427 times
Reputation: 2000000652
Banger-that is so sadly profound. Blessings and hugs to you.
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Old 05-12-2008, 06:52 PM
 
Location: San Gabriel Valley, CA
12,605 posts, read 12,919,724 times
Reputation: 8455
((Hobokenkitchen)) I am so very sorry.

This may sound overly practical but I don't believe bad things happen to our bodies because of religion. I believe it's because we're mortal and like all mortal things, we're subject to about a million different painful possibilities. (Not just painful ones, of course, but that's what this thread refers to.) It's as simple as that. Yes, it's incredibly sad, incredibly hurtful.

The truth is that the same things happen to couples who aren't as happy, or couples who aren't as young. It happens to people perhaps even younger. (My brother-in-law died two years ago from cancer at the age of 38. My sister is a widow in her 40s.) It happens to people with children, and that's sad; people without children, and that's sad because they didn't leave a piece of themselves behind; people with grown children, and that's sad because they won't ever see their grandchildren. It happens to good people. To bad people.

It's just that it's so much sadder to us when it does happen in a circumstance like that of your friends.

We see these things through our hearts. And we see them 100% subjectively. This may sound horrible, but diseases might actually exist--among us, plants, everything that lives--as natural population control...but not as a judgment on how good or bad we are. I don't mean to be hurtful--again, I'm trying to take the "blame" off this poor person (note to Dan: I think you're a nice person, but I DON'T believe God struck this person with cancer because s/he had a "dark side"). There is no one to blame.

Your friend is crying now because s/he lost the love of his/her life. Somewhere else, there is someone crying because s/he has never known love at all.

I have cried because my son was born with autism. Somewhere in the world, in fact in many places, for many couples, there are people crying because they can't have a child at all. They'd LOVE to have a child with autism. They'd love to have any child at all. So who is really suffering a tragedy? Both? I don't know. Maybe neither. It's subjective and it's because we have feelings and we are able to love. That's both a blessing and a curse.

We cry when someone is having a happy life and then suddenly dies, but we cry just as hard when a person has had a terrible life and then dies. In the first case, we cry because it's unfair that the person is leaving something good. In the second case, it's because the person never got to experience anything good. Either way, in our culture, we tend to see death as a tragedy...because it hurts those of us who remain. It hurts bad.

If you had been a Rom (Gypsy) during the Middle Ages, when someone died you'd have a party. A huge one. There would be a lot of drink, a lot of laughs and a lot of reminiscing. You'd invite extended family and friends far and wide. Why? Because the Rom at least then believed (I don't know about now) that death was the "out" from the world's hurts. They were glad for the deceased person. They were celebrating the person leaving pain and entering eternal joy. So even death being good/bad is subjective.

Your friend must be devastated and that's horrible and my heart goes out to your friend, and to you. But "why"? Nobody did anything to deserve this happening. It's just a terribly sad thing...so very sad. But your friend had love. Some day s/he will see this. There are many who never love at all. And just as many whose love is taken away too early, even if "too early" means the beloved was 72 and the widow or widower lives another 10 lonely years after.

With all respect to the religious views here, I will never believe the "whys" to suffering are about God or about us humans being terrible people. A long time ago I read a short story. I wish I could find it now. I can't remember many of the details, but it was about a poor woman forced into marriage to a man who beats her. She keeps having children--and they keep dying. In the story, she is having a problem pregnancy. Her husband has told her that if she can have a boy this time--a healthy boy--he will love her a bit more. She is already competing with the fact that her husband has a very healthy son through a previous marriage. She is afraid that if she doesn't deliver a male child, a healthy one, then she and her daughter (or daughters? Can't remember) will be abandoned.

Throughout the story, the reader--if he or she had any heart at all--was sobbing for this woman, constantly on the verge of losing her one precious hope for any love from her husband, any worth as a woman who can have healthy children, as any worth to society...in her view. It is also the view of the times--some bit of time before the turn of the 20th century. She turns to God, begging Him for help. She prays. She makes promises to Him, if only He will save her baby. By the end of the story, even you, the reader, are on the edge of your seat going, "Please God...please let this baby live..." And then, thank God!--she delivers the baby...it isn't breathing...the doctor works quickly over the child and it lets out a cry and the woman cries with joy. And the doctor says, "Congratulations, Mrs. Hitler! It's a boy."

It's not a judgment against someone's "goodness" if he or she gets sick, nor a proclamation of saintly ways if a person is healthy and has great luck or escapes some tragedy or has an apparently happy ending. People do not get struck down with cancer because they've had a negative thought toward their parents or ever stole string cheese from the Quick-Check. The "bad people" aren't the ones who always have a negative outcome and the "good people" don't remain cancer-free. I'm sorry, but I respectfully submit to the Christian respondents here that that idea just doesn't have a whole lot of practical backing.

Grieve, because you loved this person. Grieve for this person, who loved him or her even more. You have a heart, you are loving, you are human. But you will never know why and it's not because God is unfathomable. It's because we are fallible, we are made of materials that degenerate, that can be weakened...sometimes, it truly does just happen.

My heart goes out to you at this sad time.

Last edited by JerZ; 05-12-2008 at 07:17 PM..
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