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Old 05-12-2008, 06:03 PM
 
3 posts, read 13,297 times
Reputation: 11

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I noticed the post about how dumb husbands can be sometimes and lots of women posted stuff about what a moron their husbands are.

So I've been married for only 2 years with my highschool love but now I'm thinking i made a huge mistake!

I'm still going for my bachelor's degree while i'm trying to make him go to a tecnicale school to do something with his life. Mind i'm only 19 and he is 23.

He, everyday is annoying me more and more, so what should I do ladies, please help me.

I feel like although i'm younger i'm always the one having to take care of him and take care of bills and worry about everything in our future, while he is always just never worried about our future or have any future goals!

Right now i still feel that love that you feel when you're newly weds but i fear that is going away so what should I do, what have you done to stay in that relationship?

Is there hope or should i just get out of this marriage while it hasn't gotten too bad?

 
Old 05-12-2008, 06:10 PM
 
Location: Wishing It Was Wisconsin
534 posts, read 1,423,018 times
Reputation: 876
Why do so many marry so young? 19? I was living my life at 19. I didn't get married until I was 28. I've been so happily married for almost 11 years now. No way was I ready at 19. My husband and I met when he was 17(I'm 3 1/2 years older then he), and there was no chance at getting married before he was 21. He was 25 when we got married. Yes, I know some young marriages work, but I've read a lot on here that don't.

I think you should've finished school and maybe see where he was headed in life before marrying him. Nothing said you couldn't still be together, but I definetly would have looked harder into the future before walking down the aisle.
 
Old 05-12-2008, 06:16 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,225 posts, read 22,597,840 times
Reputation: 24023
My first thought is...communication! Tell him how you feel. Tell him that you think about your future and your goals with him as a couple, but he seems to be disinterested. If your worried that you will make more money than he will, then you definetly have a more serious problem, and IMO, you should have thought about that one, before you married him.
There is nothing wrong with thinking about the future, and getting your priorities in line...actually, I think thats great!
Does he work?
Hang in there, and talk to him about your concerns.
 
Old 05-12-2008, 06:31 PM
 
8,180 posts, read 11,285,866 times
Reputation: 2880
First of all, please please do not get pregnant.

Marriage can be tough, add immaturity to the mix and gets a lot tougher. I am not downing you or your husband, I'm sure you had all the best of intentions when you got married. It is just that, at the ages you two are now you will both be going through changes...in thoughts, in goals, in life. Sometimes you are in sync, sometimes not.
The only thing you can do is establish a communication system with him that is non threatening i.e. you will not yell or nag (as he would perceive it, remember I've been married over 15 years...I know how dhs minds worrk). Maybe you can find out what he thinks marriage and his professional future is all about.
And the reason I asked you not to get pregnant is....well, you think life is stressful now, add a baby to the mix and gets real real hard.
 
Old 05-12-2008, 06:41 PM
 
Location: Home of King Willie the not so great
4,189 posts, read 3,161,263 times
Reputation: 809
Quote:
Originally Posted by pyan3 View Post
I
I feel like although i'm younger i'm always the one having to take care of him and take care of bills and worry about everything in our future
You have set a precedent for this marriage. By paying his bills (ad nauseam) you have given him the O.K to be a proficient loser and hinderance to you and the marriage.
 
Old 05-12-2008, 07:37 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,024 posts, read 21,728,201 times
Reputation: 22191
Go to counseling, talk to him how you feel. And like other posters have said, don't get pregnant.

IMO you married too young. I am a completely different woman now than I was at 19....

Marriages are wonderful and challenging. It won't always be good, there will times that are hard, there will be times that are amazing. You have to be willing to go through both the good and the bad.
 
Old 05-12-2008, 07:39 PM
 
Location: Maryland not Murlin
8,193 posts, read 22,323,197 times
Reputation: 6158
He was your high-school love? What, was he held back for four years in a row?

When you were 18, he was 22.
When you were 17, he was 21.
When you were 16, he was 20.
When you were 15, he was 19.
When you were 14, Ugh, gross.

Yeah, you made a mistake.
 
Old 05-12-2008, 07:43 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,225 posts, read 22,597,840 times
Reputation: 24023
Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Luv View Post
He was your high-school love? What, was he held back for four years in a row?

When you were 18, he was 22.
When you were 17, he was 21.
When you were 16, he was 20.
When you were 15, he was 19.
When you were 14, Ugh, gross.

Yeah, you made a mistake.
I think she has done her own math on the age deal.
Where is the positive statement? They are already married.
 
Old 05-12-2008, 09:16 PM
 
3 posts, read 13,297 times
Reputation: 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Luv View Post
He was your high-school love? What, was he held back for four years in a row?

When you were 18, he was 22.
When you were 17, he was 21.
When you were 16, he was 20.
When you were 15, he was 19.
When you were 14, Ugh, gross.

Yeah, you made a mistake.
No, he was out of high school already and just working. I dated him throughout my highschool years.
 
Old 05-12-2008, 09:26 PM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,662 posts, read 7,534,099 times
Reputation: 3705
Quote:
Originally Posted by pyan3 View Post
I noticed the post about how dumb husbands can be sometimes and lots of women posted stuff about what a moron their husbands are.

So I've been married for only 2 years with my highschool love but now I'm thinking i made a huge mistake!

I'm still going for my bachelor's degree while i'm trying to make him go to a tecnicale school to do something with his life. Mind i'm only 19 and he is 23.

He, everyday is annoying me more and more, so what should I do ladies, please help me.

I feel like although i'm younger i'm always the one having to take care of him and take care of bills and worry about everything in our future, while he is always just never worried about our future or have any future goals!

Right now i still feel that love that you feel when you're newly weds but i fear that is going away so what should I do, what have you done to stay in that relationship?

Is there hope or should i just get out of this marriage while it hasn't gotten too bad?
If you feel you made a mistake then divorce him. You are young, don't suffer at such an early age. I was married at 16, had our first baby at 17 then another and another. I had 3 kids by the time I was 20. My husband was like a kid himself. After putting up with alot of BS, I realized I did not love him and I only got married to be FREE. I was a bit of a rebel. I was not free at all I was living in pure hell. He thought of me as his possesion, always telling people, this is MY wife, like I was his object. Anyway long story short, I filed for divorce when my third child was 3 months old. The BEST thing I ever did, besides having my kids. Then I was a single mom for 6 years before I met my current husband. Yes, my husband is a moron but he is not ------- or controlling, he is good with the kids he would do just about anything I asked him to do and he has a very good job. I won't divorce him mainly because I was a single mom once I don't plan on doing it again. I am alot older and have no desire to raise kids alone. It was alot easier when I was 20 years younger. We have 3 kids under 10, together, so I plan to stay married. Besides there alot of guys who are much worse and I do not want to end up with one of them. He also adopted my first 3 kids. So how could I divorce him after he helped raise my kids. He is a good guy with a good heart. I think alot of my moron bashing is from being together with him so much, I start to see little things that really get on my nerves. Its not like I don't love him. He just irratates the heck out of me about 70% of the time.

Last edited by asitshouldbe; 05-12-2008 at 09:38 PM..
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