Are people in interracial relationships as happy as people in same race relationships? (date, movies)

[cmacf1]

Boy, that's a hard question to really answer. The timing of the interracial relationship matters some (i.e., when in American history,) as well as where you live, what your background is, how your family feels about it, etc.

During my time in Sierra Leone, W. Africa, I met and fell completely and crazily in love with an African man. After my two Peace Corps years were up (this was in the mid-80s,) I did not anticipate him coming home with me, but upon leaving and in the months after I got home, I missed him horribly and could not just 'forget' him. So, he came here. I know that our situation was somewhat different because we were dealing with cultural differences (i.e., his adjustment to the U.S., as well as adjusting to my different role in the relationship here in my home country as opposed to my more dependent role on him when we were living in his country.) We lived in Washington, DC, which is pretty international and cosmopolitan, however, we did experience people screaming nasty things to us about me being white and him being black. It was SOOOO much easier living in Africa with him than living here because we didn't experience any prejudice at all over there. And it was a whole lot easier with me being more dependent on him in his country (since I didn't always know what was happening culturally) than him being dependent on me here in my country. Ultimately, the cultural differences broke us up, even though I truly loved him. It took me a long, long time to get over him.

So, in answer to the question, in my situation in the 1980s, with a man of another race from another country, the difficulties outweighed the love we had for each other. Would it be different now, 20 years later? Perhaps.

[westindian]

I am a black female who has always dated interracially. I have always had great relationships and can say that I have never been unhappy due to racial issues. I am currently with a Mexican/Italian man and we are going strong.

[millie61]

Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren

I'm curious, if your grandfather was half black and half white, why does that make him a black man?

Here in the Us he would be classed as black but in Europe he would be mixed race.

[another_hot-day]

I'm white and I've only dated white guys. I plan on keeping it that way.

[asitshouldbe]

Originally Posted by millie61

Here in the Us he would be classed as black but in Europe he would be mixed race.

Yes, I should say he was my great grandfather. We had no idea until he passed away and my mother found his army papers. Under race, it said black. I am a strawberry blonde, fair skinned person, so I was surprised to find this out. He was dark, but we were told french canadian, he was the best grandpa ever. I wish I knew about this before he passed, it would have made more sense. There was alot of (weirdness) around the subject.

[Freecia]

I'm an immigrant who moved to the U.S. when I was 12. Because I grew up in Taiwan, I guess I was expected to be more of a traditional Asian woman. Although, I am not quite your stereotypical Aisan woman, and my Taiwanese ex boyfriend had a problem with that. We ended up breaking up after 3 years of painful relationship disagreeing on pretty much everything, and I started dating a Caucasian man. I won't say that Caucasian man is ____________ (plug in whatever generalization or stereotype you have) but I had less problem dating him than my Taiwanese ex boyfriend.

At the end of the day, I really don't think there's going to be more or less problem dating someone out of your race. It all depends on personality compatibility, the willingness to respect, acknowledge, and accept not only a person's past, race, but also his/her culture. You may run into problems or issues that has to do with specifically race, but other couples just may as well face their own problems, it's no different.

[LLLL98]

I think that in order to be happy in an interracial relationship, you must have somewhat tougher skin than you would in a regular single race relationship. There are certain looks and comments (mostly under breath, but sometimes, not), you must deal with family issues, and then of course if it turns into more than dating, you must also deal with children.

Fortunately, I think our country has progressed in such a way that it is much easier now than 30 or 20 or even 10 years ago. I am white, my fiancee is black, my best friend is jewish, her husband is black (and they have a new beautiful mixed race baby girl), we have several friends who are hispanice
and dating white or black.

Basically, if your family can deal with it, and the two people in the relationship can handle those little whispers and glances, then all is good.

[itlchick]

I think a lot of friction has to do w/ culture not race per say. I know an Egyptian American woman who married an Egyptian (from Egypt) man and it is NOT going well. He expects to be the boss. Also have seen this w/ a man from Africa and a woman from America. Very different cultural expectations about who works, who handles the money, what he can do if he is "displeased." I'm NOT saying that is always the case, but I have seen that happen a few times.

[CanyonLakeMom]

I am white and have been married 10 years to a Hispanic/French man. We have two children. We are incredibly happy and have never, ever had a race issue. I really believe that race doesn't matter!

[miu]

Originally Posted by Freecia

I'm an immigrant who moved to the U.S. when I was 12. Because I grew up in Taiwan, I guess I was expected to be more of a traditional Asian woman. Although, I am not quite your stereotypical Aisan woman, and my Taiwanese ex boyfriend had a problem with that. We ended up breaking up after 3 years of painful relationship disagreeing on pretty much everything, and I started dating a Caucasian man. I won't say that Caucasian man is ____________ (plug in whatever generalization or stereotype you have) but I had less problem dating him than my Taiwanese ex boyfriend.

At the end of the day, I really don't think there's going to be more or less problem dating someone out of your race. It all depends on personality compatibility, the willingness to respect, acknowledge, and accept not only a person's past, race, but also his/her culture. You may run into problems or issues that has to do with specifically race, but other couples just may as well face their own problems, it's no different.

See... as a Chinese woman who has spent all of her life in the US, I could never be happy with a traditional Chinese man. Or be with any man that doesn't view a woman as his equal in every way. That is why I end up with the American Caucasian men that I do. They treat me as an equal and I am the most happy with that. But it's really more a cultural thing, I really get along best with modern American men or men that don't want a submissive woman as their s/o. Of course, they also need to be okay with my not wanting to bear their children or go to their church too.