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Old 05-16-2008, 12:56 PM
 
Location: New England
786 posts, read 78,536 times
Reputation: 553
As with many infatuations, you are probably infatuated with an illusion - you imagine what the cousin is probably like and, of course, he's tailor-made to suit you! In short, it's not reality but a fantasy. But don't feel bad about that... I'd say all of us have done that to one extent or another at some point.

As for the cousin thing... taboo here in the US, but not in all cultures or all parts of the world.
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Old 05-16-2008, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,846 posts, read 53,424,820 times
Reputation: 22748
Quote:
Originally Posted by the one View Post
i had never considered the whole Regret factor. most of the posters spoke about cousin humping being taboo and what not, but you brought in the perspective of possible regret.
I don't really have any moral struggles whether it was the right or wrong thing to do considering we were somewhat related. I'm just saying that sometimes crushes are better left crushes in general... Then you can dream how wonderful it could've been whereas in reality it most likely wouldn't have...
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Old 05-16-2008, 08:30 PM
 
Location: Beautiful New England
2,413 posts, read 4,552,955 times
Reputation: 2936
Quote:
Originally Posted by kristenfromdenver View Post
My understanding is that the taboo comes from the risk of genetic malformations due to have too much genetic similarity.

I should know, I used to live in West Virginia
As this article points out, the genetic issue is vastly overblown in the U.S. public's mind:
First cousins face lower risk of having children with genetic conditions than is widely perceived (http://www.washington.edu/newsroom/news/2002archive/04-02archive/k040302a.html - broken link)

The additional risk of genetic abnormalities among children conceived by first cousins is only 1.7 to 2.8% higher than the 3-4% likelihood experienced in the general population. Indeed, the increased risk is so low that the National Society of Genetic Counselors does not recommend routine genetic screening for such pregnancies. See: IngentaConnect Genetic Counseling and Screening of Consanguineous Couples and Th...

Finally, the state of West Virginia does not allow first cousin marriages. Twenty U.S. states do, however, and it is estimated that 20% of marriages around the world are between first cousins.

NOTE: No, I am not married to my cousin. I just get annoyed by uninformed and oft-repeated myths that are usually grounded in cultural bias.
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Old 12-28-2008, 09:19 AM
 
Location: allentown
111 posts, read 193,332 times
Reputation: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by millymoll View Post
I still love my first cousin - we grew up living close by - he moved away and I haven't seen him for years. But I still think about him most days. I know he is married. I am married too. But I feel as though he was my soul mate and I just miss him so much!

He did try to contact me in 2003, but I messed up. I believe he has feelings for me still, but I dare not make any moves on him and he probably feels the same way. One - we're both married with kids, Two - we're first cousins and people dissaprove. Three - we are both too scared to do anything (lol).

But I do miss him.....why can't I forget him.....
. you must forget him. it is okay to feel for him but do not act on them. to act on them is NOT okay to do. you are both married and must not let the devil get over on you. you must pray to god to move on and let him go. You are both married people and Be happy and you are family. The world as not changed so much. That your and his family will be okay with this because the will not be. Be happy with yourself and your husband and work on your marriage and find things to make yout marriage work. as long as he is a good giy and will not hit you and drinks. Then you have it made. If you want to save your marriage. ask god and he will help you. I guess you do not want to find him. You did not leave his name. I could find him for you but i would not do that.
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Old 12-28-2008, 09:29 AM
 
Location: allentown
111 posts, read 193,332 times
Reputation: 27
do you really believe that you could be just friends? If you are having trouble. It is best that you do not see each other. Do you want to ruin his marriage and your's too.? Do you want to hurt your husband and his wife. Just drop it and go on with your life. I would guess that you had some past lives together too. You could find someone who doe's past life reading. You are just feeling something left over from another life. It is not real.
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