Catcalling: creepy or a compliment?

[beowulf7]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

OK, you convinced me. Those of us who don't play with toys don't even think about it... Gotta expand my horizons. I still highly doubt it's happening (one too many stars have to align), but it's technically possible.

Just b/c you haven't heard of such a case doesn't mean it's not happening. Along those lines, (fortunately) I don't know of a single woman who has gotten raped. But that doesn't mean it's not happening.

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by beowulf7

Just b/c you haven't heard of such a case doesn't mean it's not happening. Along those lines, (fortunately) I don't know of a single woman who has gotten raped. But that doesn't mean it's not happening.

You actually might know a woman who was raped. But women feel ashamed too and women too decide not to report, and it's not something that might be brought up in everyday conversation.

As for men who are raped, I knew of one man it happened to but it was by other males...I'm sorry if that grosses anyone out...he too was ashamed...he didn't report it. So it can happen...I don't think, owing to the facts pointed out above, that it probably happens as often *by* women as it does by men, to men...if that makes sense. Rape is an act of violence and it's true that the stars would have to align for the *average* woman to overpower the *average* man in that way. Not saying it never happens, just that it's almost certainly a small percentage compared to the amount of women who are raped.

But yes, I agree that it's unfair when anyone doesn't report due to shame. You need to realize that women are just as ashamed when it happens. It's not only men who feel inappropriately ashamed when a rape happens. Women do too. Rape is just a horror all-around.

[beowulf7]

Originally Posted by JerZ

You actually might know a woman who was raped. But women feel ashamed too and women too decide not to report, and it's not something that might be brought up in everyday conversation.

As for men who are raped, I knew of one man it happened to but it was by other males...I'm sorry if that grosses anyone out...he too was ashamed...he didn't report it. So it can happen...I don't think, owing to the facts pointed out above, that it probably happens as often *by* women as it does by men, to men...if that makes sense. Rape is an act of violence and it's true that the stars would have to align for the *average* woman to overpower the *average* man in that way. Not saying it never happens, just that it's almost certainly a small percentage compared to the amount of women who are raped.

But yes, I agree that it's unfair when anyone doesn't report due to shame. You need to realize that women are just as ashamed when it happens. It's not only men who feel inappropriately ashamed when a rape happens. Women do too. Rape is just a horror all-around.

I might also know a man who got raped, but just not know it either.

Yes, I didn't even mention male-on-male rape, but I can imagine that being very traumatic, whether or not the victim is gay.

While I'm sure it exists, do women report when being raped by another woman (again, hetero or homo)?

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by beowulf7

I might also know a man who got raped, but just not know it either.

Yes, I didn't even mention male-on-male rape, but I can imagine that being very traumatic, whether or not the victim is gay.

While I'm sure it exists, do women report when being raped by another woman (again, hetero or homo)?

Yup, it is sad and awful. You definitely could know a male who was raped but not know that the event happened. I know for a fact that the person who disclosed to me, has disclosed to exactly two people. Me and his mother. Nobody else, not even his siblings. Definitely not his friends.

I'm sure women must get raped by women. I don't know how often it's reported. The thing about rape statistics is that what's usually reported is done so by the hospital so that would only be in the case that the woman was physically hurt enough and un-ashamed enough to go to a hospital. Hospitals have the duty to report criminal activity or suspected criminal activity because many victims understandably don't want to talk. They just want to make sure they're physically okay and then get the heck out of there.

Those statistics are way, way higher than the amount of people who end up trying to prosecute, again out of shame...or fear ("I've been watching you and I know where you live and where your kids go to school")...or other reasons. So a lot of rape stats are gleaned from hospital reports and from anonymous psychiatrists' reports and therefore, we will never really know.

It's just really sad.

[uglyblackjohn]

MonaLisaVito- In no way was I stating that I was actually raped. If a man got a woman drunk and took advantage of her, it's considered "Date-Rape" (Note the quotation marks in my post) But we're taught that no-means-no. Was I "asking for it" by putting myself in this situation ? Yes, I think so. But different rules aply for a man when they get a woman drunk or put a pill in their drink. I don't mean to come across as sexist, I just think that I wasn't really "date-raped" (just pleasuably taken advantage of) but a woman in the same situation would be considered such.

[Fat Freddy]

Originally Posted by beowulf7

But I'm sure there are puny men who can be overpowered by a strong woman. What if she took a sex object and shoved it up his butt?

If a wimpy guy like that doesn't have enough sense to avoid those kinds of women, he probably deserves to have something shoved up his butt.

[Lindsey_Mcfarren]

I started getting cat calls when I was 12 and 13. By the time I hit high school age, it was out of control. YES, I will scan a picture and post it so you can see what I mean. I have a picture of me when I was 14 at a school function. I'm not dressed skimpily but NO ONE would suspect I was only 14.

It was not uncommon for guys to go WAY beyond the cat calling and actually follow me or pursue me in some way which made me feel sort of stalked. Often it was pretty clear that they were MUCH older then I was.

I was very frightened by the attention because it started at a time when I wasn't even that into boys. I'm sure that feeling just hung on. Then of course the older I got, the more "filled out" my breasts got and it just got worse.

When I got older I would yell back that I was a Lesbian, in a really rough voice and this usually made people move along. One time I did this when I was out with a couple friends, one being a gay guy I went to school with. My gay friend almost fell on the floor laughing when I did this.

[DD70]

I usually get embarrassed and do my best to avoid eye contact.
I have never dealt with cat calls very well but I have been known to get rude when they are persistant and crude and have no qualms about telling them where they can stick their lil comments.

[beowulf7]

Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren

I started getting cat calls when I was 12 and 13. By the time I hit high school age, it was out of control. YES, I will scan a picture and post it so you can see what I mean. I have a picture of me when I was 14 at a school function. I'm not dressed skimpily but NO ONE would suspect I was only 14.

It was not uncommon for guys to go WAY beyond the cat calling and actually follow me or pursue me in some way which made me feel sort of stalked. Often it was pretty clear that they were MUCH older then I was.

I was very frightened by the attention because it started at a time when I wasn't even that into boys. I'm sure that feeling just hung on. Then of course the older I got, the more "filled out" my breasts got and it just got worse.

When I got older I would yell back that I was a Lesbian, in a really rough voice and this usually made people move along. One time I did this when I was out with a couple friends, one being a gay guy I went to school with. My gay friend almost fell on the floor laughing when I did this.

LOL about you shouting you're a lesbian. But that can turn on many of these guys and would further antagonize them.

[Lindsey_Mcfarren]

Originally Posted by beowulf7

LOL about you shouting you're a lesbian. But that can turn on many of these guys and would further antagonize them.

Your right about that. But at the time, it usually freaked them out. Remember I am really OLD now. lol.