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Old 05-16-2008, 09:20 AM
 
Location: Colorado
444 posts, read 759,256 times
Reputation: 270

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What are you looking for? Fantasy or Reality? Younger, your own age, or older women? Prude, or permiscuous? Dominating or passive? Are you willing to compromise, or are you firm in what you are looking to find? Do you imagine a face or body when you think of the woman of your dreams? What is important to you about a relationship? Do you want a part time playmate or a fulltime partner for life? Do tell, and please explain why if you can. Thanks!
^*^ OrionsAngel
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Old 05-16-2008, 01:01 PM
 
Location: West Texas
2,440 posts, read 3,728,056 times
Reputation: 3009
I'm not single, but recently married, but because I was single not too long ago I would like to put my opinion in. And just for the record, I'm 43, so I hope that still puts me in the "middle age" bracket.

In my life, there's fantasy and reality. Fantasy is just that... something made up.. and I realize that. It didn't stop me from wishing I could be with someone like Megyn Kelly (Fox News) or Kate Beckinsale (actress). But aside from the fact they're both married, I know it's just fantasy. I'm no looker by any stretch, and I have never turned a head. But I try to have a great personality, and hope I have a lot to offer anyone who got passed my looks (I'm not Quasimoto, but not George Clooney either).

As I was getting older (say, mid 30s) I realized I was having these really strange, bizzare thoughts. I would look at beautiful women (real life or on TV/movies) and say to myself "I wonder what she has on her pizza when she orders it?" or... "Does she like Coke or Pepsi?" or "I wonder if she'd rather cuddle up in the winter, or hang out on the beach in the summer." I would stop myself and wonder just what the hell was wrong with me. These are wonderfully beautiful women, and instead of imagining what they looked like without clothes (okay... that happened too ), why am I thinking about these other things.

Bottom line was... as I got older, I realized that nice looking women are wonderful, but you need more than that to sustain a relationship. I imagine women feel the same way. If you can get a good looking guy who's intelligent, funny, and secure, why not. But (and this is just for me), if I have to give up one of those values (or step down in one of them) it would be looks. I'd rather have the intelligent, funny, secure women.
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Old 05-17-2008, 12:31 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
13,062 posts, read 22,525,381 times
Reputation: 10273
Quote:
Originally Posted by OrionsAngel View Post
What are you looking for? Fantasy or Reality? Younger, your own age, or older women? Prude, or permiscuous? Dominating or passive? Are you willing to compromise, or are you firm in what you are looking to find? Do you imagine a face or body when you think of the woman of your dreams? What is important to you about a relationship? Do you want a part time playmate or a fulltime partner for life? Do tell, and please explain why if you can. Thanks!
^*^ OrionsAngel
Why are you asking this question? Is there a particular middle aged man you want to date and you need help in reeling him in?

As someone who knows a number of single middle aged men, it's impossible to generalize what they all want in a woman. Each is an individual with different needs. Don't stereotype.
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Old 05-17-2008, 08:02 AM
 
Location: Colorado
444 posts, read 759,256 times
Reputation: 270
I ask out of pure curiosity. I would like to meet a guy my own age, and I wonder what they want. I am not asking to reel one in from here, I ask to get a generalisation of what a majority might be looking to find at this age. I have a dating site that I am on hoping to find mister right, and I read the profiles but dont seem to understand what they are REALLY looking for. That doesnt mean I would conform to what they want, just means I want to know what each individual is dreaming of. Do we dream an impossible dream? or do we allow each other to be as we are and accept that? I have many questions, and may never recieve those answers. Maybe I can learn something, and become a helpful advocate? Who knows? I dont see my questions as stereotyping, I just want to understand what it is you/ they seek. I realise all individuals have different desires, but maybe there are some commonalities to be acknowledged. I hope noone finds my questions offensive in any way, and I hope to recieve honest answers.
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Old 05-17-2008, 08:16 AM
 
Location: Somewhere East of Laramie
29,643 posts, read 18,913,679 times
Reputation: 12657
I think Woody Allen was right when he said "the heart wants what the heart wants" Often, despite any notions you have of what your 'type' is you may find yourself hopelessly attracted to someone totally out of sync with that 'type'.

That being said, give me honesty, loyalty, and a desire to live life, not just accumulate 'stuff'.
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Old 05-17-2008, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,890 posts, read 12,951,235 times
Reputation: 8419
Quote:
Originally Posted by OrionsAngel View Post
What are you looking for? Fantasy or Reality? Younger, your own age, or older women? Prude, or permiscuous? Dominating or passive? Are you willing to compromise, or are you firm in what you are looking to find? Do you imagine a face or body when you think of the woman of your dreams? What is important to you about a relationship? Do you want a part time playmate or a fulltime partner for life? Do tell, and please explain why if you can. Thanks!
^*^ OrionsAngel
OY with all the questions - my head is meshuggah!

OK...here we go...hang on tight, don't stand up, and keep your arms inside the box you're created for us...
  1. What am I looking for? The Way. Not a real great answer, I know, but it follows my life philosophy. It might have nothing or everything to do with relationships - depends where I'm "at" at any given time.
  2. Fantasy or reality? Both - balance.
  3. Younger, same, older? Yes.
  4. Prude or pro...pre...easy? Hmmm...probably promiscuous, if those are the only choices I have. (You're setting yourself up for disappointment, I think, by limiting possible answers to only one of two extremes. Life is rarely like that, and if you want a man who's somewhat centered you won't find him using that approach)
  5. Dom or sub? I went out with a dom for several years - it was great, but I prefer subs. Again, not the extreme kind - just the kind that doesn't fight me tooth and nail over every little thing.
  6. Compromise or hold firm? Depends...what am I compromising or holding firm ON? I don't have any expectations about what I'll "find" - to me, it's a grand adventure into the unknown.
  7. Imagining face and body? I might do that in my idle times, but I don't use it as a template to fit possible partners into. You can be pleasantly surprised over who you "jive" with if you don't have preconceived notions.
  8. What is important about a relationship? That my partner simply WORSHIPS me! Seriously - Openness, truthfulness and HUMOR!!!
  9. P/t or F/t? Right now, at this point in my journey I'm only really comfortable with a playmate(s), but I think if "The One" showed up my tune might change...
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Old 05-17-2008, 11:00 AM
 
Location: Earth
3,797 posts, read 4,348,548 times
Reputation: 2494
Quote:
Originally Posted by burdell View Post
I think Woody Allen was right when he said "the heart wants what the heart wants" Often, despite any notions you have of what your 'type' is you may find yourself hopelessly attracted to someone totally out of sync with that 'type'.

That being said, give me honesty, loyalty, and a desire to live life, not just accumulate 'stuff'.
Aint that the truth? Years ago I never could have imagined being attracted to someone who wasn't my type I had strict criteria's...sometimes you just have to throw those out the window and follow where the heart wants to go.
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Old 05-17-2008, 11:06 AM
 
Location: Somewhere East of Laramie
29,643 posts, read 18,913,679 times
Reputation: 12657
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonsavvy View Post
Aint that the truth? Years ago I never could have imagined being attracted to someone who wasn't my type I had strict criteria's...sometimes you just have to throw those out the window and follow where the heart wants to go.


Yeah, it makes me wonder if we really get attracted to someone who's not our 'type' or is it that we really don't know our 'type' 'til we meet them?
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Old 05-17-2008, 11:07 AM
 
Location: In the woods next to the ocean
4,048 posts, read 8,644,700 times
Reputation: 6225
I can't really remember that period in my life too well, but I think what I wanted was a good running car, a fishing boat, occasional sex, a big TV, and some woman's underwear that wouldn't bind my crotch when I put on my makeup and strolled in front of my mirror.
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Old 05-17-2008, 11:15 AM
 
Location: Earth
3,797 posts, read 4,348,548 times
Reputation: 2494
Quote:
Originally Posted by burdell View Post
Yeah, it makes me wonder if we really get attracted to someone who's not our 'type' or is it that we really don't know our 'type' 'til we meet them?
So true I have a surprisingly magnetic attraction to a friend of mine, sooo not my "type". But then again, maybe he is exactly my "type" and I've just been oblivious to it. Who knows? The universe works in mysterious ways.

(this is NOT the co dependent friend btw)
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