what do full-figured women seek in men? (mother-in-law, attracted, attractiveness)

[SifuPhil]

Originally Posted by MrKrabs

What's considered "obese" is really ridiculous anymore. I'm 5'9" 190 lbs, I do not look fat in the least....I look average.....and according to my BMI, I am bordering on being considered "obese."

Yeah, IMO the BMI has a lot of faults, but unfortunately it's the current yardstick for the medicos and insurance companies.

5'9" / 190 - all depends how it's distributed. I've known guys that size who looked overweight (I'd never call them "obese" though) and others who looked almost starved.

I'm 6', 200 lbs. - according to most of the charts I'm overweight too - they claim I should be 170-175. I haven't been that since 12th grade, but I think if I were I'd be one sickly dude. I've been down to 190, which for me personally is ideal, but I couldn't / wouldn't go any lower than that.

[Rcm58]

"I had TONS of other choices in my life".

You choose the words not me.

[JerZ]

It's funny (not ha-ha funny) to see how many people here, the majority male, say that a thin woman is "confident".

Cyclic self-starvation, bullemia (I really just don't know how to spell that...arggg), diet pills, liposuction, gastric surgeries, working out at the gym like a rat on a wheel obsessively, constantly comparing oneself to others to make sure she's not "getting fat", diets where you can only eat eggs, diets where you can't eat eggs, diets where you can only eat fruit up to 12:00 PM after which you have to "food-combine"...all out of the sheer terror that nobody will love us if we gain five ounces. Oh yeah. Just SCREAMS "self-confidence" to me...self-love out the yin-yang there.

I once had a boyfriend who told me that although I might think I was slender at 103, I still had "unhealthy belly fat". He proved this to me by having me sit on a chair and bend completely forward until my face was touching my knees, then pinching at the small "roll" that was created by my waist in doing so.

I was probably at my least self-confident when I was ridiculously thin (I dieted down to 95 for this particular person...but have a heart, I was just a stupid kid, 16 years old) because you're told that there is a huge inherent difference between fat and thin women. You're told that if you "get thinner" you'll be happier. You'll FEEL GREAT! And everyone will love you. Then you get there, and...well, you're still you. You are still the same person and your life is still the same. Yes, indeed. "Fat" people can be as happy as thin people, and there is nothing inherent in a "fat" person that makes her want different things, have a different personality or different feelings, or different potential.

[SifuPhil]

Originally Posted by JerZ

I once had a boyfriend who told me that although I might think I was slender at 103, I still had "unhealthy belly fat". He proved this to me by having me sit on a chair and bend completely forward until my face was touching my knees, then pinching at the small "roll" that was created by my waist in doing so.

You should have pinched HIS "small roll" and told him he needed to bulk up...

[Rcm58]

I don't think ultra thin with ribs showing and deep set "holocaust" eyes is what any of us were saying. Overweight women don't have the same values as us men. If you think anything of yourself you don't choke down massive amounts of food as a reward, same mind frame as an alcoholic. Non attractive people don't get it. Attractive is a lifestyle not something you do after work at the gym. Its an outer version of what makes you....you.

[moonsavvy]

Originally Posted by JerZ

I was probably at my least self-confident when I was ridiculously thin

Me too, now I embrace my bootylishiousness. So much better to have a confident smile and a round booty, then a forced smile and no booty.

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by SifuPhil

You should have pinched HIS "small roll" and told him he needed to bulk up...

OMG!!! Okay, NOW I'm laughing. Thank God for SifuPhil. I'll run off now and try to rep you if someone else hasn't already beaten me to it.

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by Rcm58

I don't think ultra thin with ribs showing and deep set "holocaust" eyes is what any of us were saying. Overweight women don't have the same values as us men. If you think anything of yourself you don't choke down massive amounts of food as a reward, same mind frame as an alcoholic. Non attractive people don't get it. Attractive is a lifestyle not something you do after work at the gym. Its an outer version of what makes you....you.

Oh heeeeeeeeeeeeere we go...the old "they only feel that way because they're fat and ugly" refrain.

Good luck with your lifestyle if you ever, God forbid (and I mean that), get into an accident, Rcm.

We (the Great Unwashed) don't "get it"? What don't we get? We're definitely getting something. Happiness, fun times and a lack of obsession on every wrinkle or roll.

[FightinPhils]

Originally Posted by moonsavvy

Me too, now I embrace my bootylishiousness. So much better to have a confident smile and a round booty, then a forced smile and no booty.

Definitely!

[Davachka]

Originally Posted by JerZ

It's funny (not ha-ha funny) to see how many people here, the majority male, say that a thin woman is "confident".

Cyclic self-starvation, bullemia (I really just don't know how to spell that...arggg), diet pills, liposuction, gastric surgeries, working out at the gym like a rat on a wheel obsessively, constantly comparing oneself to others to make sure she's not "getting fat", diets where you can only eat eggs, diets where you can't eat eggs, diets where you can only eat fruit up to 12:00 PM after which you have to "food-combine"...all out of the sheer terror that nobody will love us if we gain five ounces. Oh yeah. Just SCREAMS "self-confidence" to me...self-love out the yin-yang there.


I was probably at my least self-confident when I was ridiculously thin (I dieted down to 95 for this particular person...but have a heart, I was just a stupid kid, 16 years old) because you're told that there is a huge inherent difference between fat and thin women. You're told that if you "get thinner" you'll be happier. You'll FEEL GREAT! And everyone will love you. Then you get there, and...well, you're still you. You are still the same person and your life is still the same. Yes, indeed. "Fat" people can be as happy as thin people, and there is nothing inherent in a "fat" person that makes her want different things, have a different personality or different feelings, or different potential.

Why all the stereotypes? I have known many thin women, and I am one of them. Never been cyclic self starvation, bulimic, used diet pills, or work out obsessively. Some of us just CARE what we put into our bodies and work out in moderation because as modern science tells us since grade school it is good for our hearts, minds, bodies.

It is the same if I said all fat people are lazy and sit around gorging all the time, though it is true for some, it is just as ridiculous a statement as yours.

BUT, I have rarely met a fat person who did not, whether outloud or inside, wish they were thinner, healthier and in better shape.