Vent (marriage, attracted, sex, call)

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

I never knew silence meant consent. That is new to me but is interesting. I always thought of silence as the "cold shoulder" or "silent treatment" as a form of punishment.

My problem is what happens if you tell the person it bothers you and you don't like it. Then they use that against you more often.

Then you make his life miserable.

Men don't necessarily react to silent treatments the way women expect them to.

[wanttomoveeast]

eh. I don't do the silent treatment. Not forever anyway. I do wait until he's calm again. An hour or so after I posted, I wrote to him and told him I didn't think he was so nice. Instead of just yelling at him, I asked, what's wrong? Can I help you? Are you just having a rotten day? He apologized and said that yeah, his boss yelled at him. We have found ways of getting along and not having prolonged bad feelings. I guess that's why I titled my post Vent. : )

[artsyguy]

that is strange men are that way.

Originally Posted by cpg35223

Then you make his life miserable.

Men don't necessarily react to silent treatments the way women expect them to.

[artsyguy]

THat is great how you worked it out.

Originally Posted by wanttomoveeast

eh. I don't do the silent treatment. Not forever anyway. I do wait until he's calm again. An hour or so after I posted, I wrote to him and told him I didn't think he was so nice. Instead of just yelling at him, I asked, what's wrong? Can I help you? Are you just having a rotten day? He apologized and said that yeah, his boss yelled at him. We have found ways of getting along and not having prolonged bad feelings. I guess that's why I titled my post Vent. : )

[wanttomoveeast]

thanks, I guess it was the both of us getting some training on how to negotiate and deal with one another in bad or irritating times. It really is hard, and I think that more couples could benefit if they could just get some training. Things don't work out on their own!

p.s. - We are right back to normal. My irritation and his bad mood solved and we came home and had a very nice dinner/evening.

[ali&ajsmom]

it depends on what my DH is in a mood about some days I just ignore him and other days shopping.

[wanttomoveeast]

Yeah, I agree with that. That's for the weekend though. On weekdays when we are both working, I'll try to let go whatever bad mood he's in and go about my workday. Almost always he calls to say sorry. Or I do what I typed above. These types of occurrences are definitely not everyday.

[pushkinswife]

throw him a *pamprin* ...i usually remind him to change his tampon when he's on his cycle.

[chiaroscuro]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

Silence implies consent. If the guy acts like a baby and you tolerate it, he's going to pull that stunt again. So I think you need to serve him a steaming hot cup of **** and leave the house until he can behave like a civilized person again. I bet he doesn't treat you that way any more after that.

I agree. The cup should be passed around a lot more, too many women think that simply not talking will solve the situation. Don't overdo it, though, just make it clear that if he is going to act like a baby you will temporarily grow balls and make him feel like s**t. Then go back to being sweet and nice when he snaps out of it.

[wanttomoveeast]

There is something to teaching people how to treat you. It just has to be done right.