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Old 05-20-2008, 04:34 PM
 
24,591 posts, read 25,653,468 times
Reputation: 32755
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
I never knew silence meant consent. That is new to me but is interesting. I always thought of silence as the "cold shoulder" or "silent treatment" as a form of punishment.

My problem is what happens if you tell the person it bothers you and you don't like it. Then they use that against you more often.
Then you make his life miserable.

Men don't necessarily react to silent treatments the way women expect them to.
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Old 05-20-2008, 04:37 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
3,531 posts, read 6,094,261 times
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eh. I don't do the silent treatment. Not forever anyway. I do wait until he's calm again. An hour or so after I posted, I wrote to him and told him I didn't think he was so nice. Instead of just yelling at him, I asked, what's wrong? Can I help you? Are you just having a rotten day? He apologized and said that yeah, his boss yelled at him. We have found ways of getting along and not having prolonged bad feelings. I guess that's why I titled my post Vent. : )
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Old 05-20-2008, 04:55 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,126,258 times
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that is strange men are that way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Then you make his life miserable.

Men don't necessarily react to silent treatments the way women expect them to.
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Old 05-20-2008, 04:56 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,126,258 times
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THat is great how you worked it out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wanttomoveeast View Post
eh. I don't do the silent treatment. Not forever anyway. I do wait until he's calm again. An hour or so after I posted, I wrote to him and told him I didn't think he was so nice. Instead of just yelling at him, I asked, what's wrong? Can I help you? Are you just having a rotten day? He apologized and said that yeah, his boss yelled at him. We have found ways of getting along and not having prolonged bad feelings. I guess that's why I titled my post Vent. : )
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Old 05-21-2008, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
3,531 posts, read 6,094,261 times
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thanks, I guess it was the both of us getting some training on how to negotiate and deal with one another in bad or irritating times. It really is hard, and I think that more couples could benefit if they could just get some training. Things don't work out on their own!

p.s. - We are right back to normal. My irritation and his bad mood solved and we came home and had a very nice dinner/evening.
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Old 05-21-2008, 01:54 PM
 
431 posts, read 1,098,314 times
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it depends on what my DH is in a mood about some days I just ignore him and other days shopping.
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Old 05-21-2008, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
3,531 posts, read 6,094,261 times
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Yeah, I agree with that. That's for the weekend though. On weekdays when we are both working, I'll try to let go whatever bad mood he's in and go about my workday. Almost always he calls to say sorry. Or I do what I typed above. These types of occurrences are definitely not everyday.
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Old 05-21-2008, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Home of King Willie the not so great
4,189 posts, read 2,233,304 times
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throw him a *pamprin* ...i usually remind him to change his tampon when he's on his cycle.
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Old 05-21-2008, 03:06 PM
 
1,009 posts, read 1,431,655 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Silence implies consent. If the guy acts like a baby and you tolerate it, he's going to pull that stunt again. So I think you need to serve him a steaming hot cup of **** and leave the house until he can behave like a civilized person again. I bet he doesn't treat you that way any more after that.
I agree. The cup should be passed around a lot more, too many women think that simply not talking will solve the situation. Don't overdo it, though, just make it clear that if he is going to act like a baby you will temporarily grow balls and make him feel like s**t. Then go back to being sweet and nice when he snaps out of it.
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Old 05-22-2008, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
3,531 posts, read 6,094,261 times
Reputation: 821
There is something to teaching people how to treat you. It just has to be done right.
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