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Old 05-23-2008, 07:49 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
12,992 posts, read 21,810,184 times
Reputation: 10146
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shamerika View Post
Thank you. I am 22 years old & future graduate from Univ of Houston-DT (December 08). I graduated at 16 and been in and out of school for a while now but definitely finishing...although I'm book-smart...apparently I'm a dumba$$ when it comes to relationships.

If you'd like to see pics of me:
You are just beginning your adult life!!! Even though you want children, please don't rush into having them. You are only 22 years old!! Enjoy your independence and being free of having to look for a babysitter anytime you want to go out with your friends.

As to finding a good boyfriend, take your time and be friends first. Get to know them (the real them and not the smooth talking, trying to get into your pants them)and find out that very important stuff like their ideas for a career, if they want kids, if they want to travel, what they want to do with their earnings and more importantly, their spiritual and moral values. Don't just go out with any good looking guy that asks you out. Do your homework first!! And it will save you a lot of heartache later on. And also, don't ever compromise your ideals in life. There are tons of single guy out there! Put yourself first, because no one else is going to look out for your best interests except you. And don't ever date a broken guy thinking that you can fix them!

And I looked at your pictures, and you shouldn't have to compromise on the quality of the men you date.
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Old 05-23-2008, 08:05 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
1,888 posts, read 2,943,961 times
Reputation: 1100
Quote:
Originally Posted by DimSumRaja View Post
thank you for clearing that up.

although now i have to wonder about someone who goes around posting their pictures online to a random audience. The purpose behind that would be....what? Seems a little off-base if not downright unwise to me.
quit being so harsh and downright unfriendly...
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Old 05-23-2008, 08:11 AM
 
431 posts, read 1,109,326 times
Reputation: 296
You are a beautiful person and if you want to keep it that way I would take care of yourself first, then when you least expect it you will find the right man for YOU. you have alot of time on your hands to do what ever you would like to do with your life weather it includes travel, a nice apartment or home, car and ect... If you don't rush your life you will find that you really enjoy it more.

I wouldn't even waste my time on this guy even as friends cause he knows what buttons to push and before you know it he will get his way with you.
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Old 05-23-2008, 08:25 AM
 
5,108 posts, read 7,557,060 times
Reputation: 3455
Originally Posted by DimSumRaja

although now i have to wonder about someone who goes around posting their pictures online to a random audience. The purpose behind that would be....what? Seems a little off-base if not downright unwise to me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by another_hot-day View Post
quit being so harsh and downright unfriendly...
there is nothing "harsh and unfriendly" about pointing out behavior that is unwise and can lead a person into dangerous situations, especially when the person herself is asking for input, and has also said she appreciates hearing straightforward input, and has expressed gratitude for what she is hearing.

Clearly the person is open to and needs some healthy input or she wouldn't be in the situation she describes in the first place.

Also anyone who has been posting on here a while knows the kind of "direct messages" that appear in the mailbox with all sorts of offers, that's what I want her to be aware of, there are predators all over online, and while we can't change who is "out there" we can be aware of our own behavior, actions, messages we send through our actions, and how our actions can lead us into dangerous or undesirable situations.

Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 05-23-2008 at 08:41 AM..
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Old 05-23-2008, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
1,888 posts, read 2,943,961 times
Reputation: 1100
Oh okay. Well your "tone" made me think differently. I apologize.
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Old 05-24-2008, 10:10 PM
 
11,362 posts, read 17,216,022 times
Reputation: 5208
Quote:
Originally Posted by slove1106 View Post
I find it highly disappointing that a bunch of adults on an internet forum (but that should explain it) all agree that this guy is a "bad guy" because he had children with multiple women...
To be certain, the question was not whether he was or is a "bad guy" but whether trying to establish a relationship was an advisable thing to do for this young lady. They're not necessarily one and the same. No - actually, taken at face value, the question is whether "you" ("you" being the average city-data reader, presumably) would date someone with five kids from four different relationships and/or marriages.

You weren't really expecting to read dozens of replies saying "go for it," were you?

I'd find it more disappointing, frankly, if anyone actually made an important life decision such as moving from one place to another or whether or not to establish an interpersonal relationship with someone else that they know personally, based solely on advice given by strangers on an internet forum.
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Old 05-24-2008, 11:00 PM
 
Location: Galax, VA
692 posts, read 1,782,437 times
Reputation: 377
OP. You were in a 7 year relationship that just recently ended (5 months ago) and after a 2 month break have been already thinking about getting serious with this new guy (whom you have been dating for 3 months?). And you are only 22? Forget about his problems. You need to slow down and concentrate on your ownself.
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Old 05-26-2008, 03:17 AM
 
4,001 posts, read 5,282,936 times
Reputation: 2357
Date a single woman with 5 children ? My God! there are social services to help her!
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Old 05-26-2008, 04:19 AM
 
72 posts, read 347,484 times
Reputation: 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shamerika View Post

Hello everyone.

I'm in a situation where I have been dating a great man who has 5 children (4 different women) AND who is currently going through a divorce. We have been dating for 3 months now and I have met 2 (out of 5) children. They are well-behaved kids and he's definitely showing outstanding parental skills. I, on the other hand, have never been married and have no children nor any parental skills what-so-ever.

I want children so bad and despite that he has 5, he would like more with me, which I absolutely go for...but not sure what his other baby mama's would think or if it's in MY best interest to go for. I'm 22 years old and he's 28. I can see myself with him..no doubt about it.

Just wanted to know other opinions of people who have been in my shoes...not with one or two children but at least more than 3. I want to bring up child support talks or how much interactiong he has with his ex's and what possibly guarantees me and him to be together.

Any advice will be helpful.

Not only no, but HELL no. Ditch that guy ASAP. And seriously.. WTF is he dating you when he's not even divorced, yet?.............. I wouldn't feel safe being with someone like that. Can't even wait til we're fully divorced before hopping in the sack with another chick? L-O-S-E-R.

Ditch him ASAP. You don't need kids with that sorry sack of camel dung... As for his kids. Unless he has custody of all 5 of them, it's the mothers that have raised them & taught them how to behave properly. Not him. He probably sees them on the weekends & holidays... Sometimes. lol And him.. He needs to get fixed. Pronto. -_-
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Old 05-27-2008, 08:16 AM
 
5,108 posts, read 7,557,060 times
Reputation: 3455
Quote:
Originally Posted by jfre81 View Post
I'd find it more disappointing, frankly, if anyone actually made an important life decision such as moving from one place to another or whether or not to establish an interpersonal relationship with someone else that they know personally, based solely on advice given by strangers on an internet forum.
Actually I have found that the input and advice given on a forum like this can be more helpful and impartial and straightforward and cover a broader range of possible options, and have the poster's best interests at heart, than those close to a person, who know him or her, because those close to us often have an agenda of what they want us to do and try to run our lives based on their own feelings for us and what they think we should do for them.

Whereas total strangers, from different parts of the world, of different ages and genders and cultural backgrounds, can see things from all different angles with nothing to gain from us for giving their advice (except maybe rep) so such advice can be quite helpful and valuable.

Strangers can be more impartial and see the problem more clearly often times than those immersed in it.
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