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Well, personally, I wouldn't be concerned w/ the fact that he has five children. BUT I would take the fact that they have 4 different mothers (4 failed relationships), plus the fact that he's been divorced (how many times???). I mean... I don't know... everyone deserves a chance I guess but this guy sounds like he's not really good at staying committed. Honestly, I would NOT want MY daughter to be with a man who has THAT much baggage... it's not a good track record. Odds are, you are going to end up just like the mothers of his 5 kids. I hope you reconsider.
Well, I'm my mother has two (me and my brother) and I'm the baby. I have not told my mom about him because I know she would freak out. I'm absolutely re-considering and will let him that that we should be FRIENDS.
Shamerika.... first of all, as a full time student CONGRATULATIONS on your upcoming graduation. THAT.... and your future is what you need to worry about and concern yourself with. He'll be just fine, don't worry about him.
Now, you are NOT a dumb***, what you apparently are is a young girl (no offense) with a big heart, for having even considered this. You may have had some friends telling you to go for it, some even saying you make a cute couple and all that, BUT, they are not the one's that would have had to live with the possible mess, drama, and stress of the situation. Pat yourself on the back for having doubts, for questioning your decisions and for seeking the opinion of outsider's who can more often than not see what you yourself can not see. Give yourself another pat on the back for recognizing good advice when you see it and being willing to say.. "hey maybe this isn't such a good idea".
Nothing wrong with being a good hearted person. You just also need to use the common sense that you have and know how not to throw yourself into a fire trying to pull someone else out of theirs. You have to remember, you did not create their situation, you can not fix it for them, only they themselves can do something about changing it.
There is some guy out there that is just the perfect one for you. The one that you will be able to build a life with, create a family with and enjoy love and a home with. Chances are he won't come with 5 suitcases full of baggage from 4 different destinations... Get my drift. Just be patient, focus on studies and your future goal and know the right one will come along in time.
Good luck to you.
Thank you. I think my problem is that I been wanting a child with my ex-boyfriend and he ALWAYS SAID NO. No to marriage and no to children (and he is now turning 30). He was the one who put me in the education route and career-future-financial all that mess. When we broke up (in January '08) I was obviously devastated (7-YEARS DOWN THE DRAIN) and that's where the guy I am with came in the picture. It surprised me that he said yes to marriage and children...it was music to my ears BUT now seeing that I am making a huge mistake is definitely not something I want to get into.
Do what now? A "troll"?? I am new to this and don't quite understand. Meaning FAKE? Absolutely not. I am going through this RIGHT NOW AS I TYPE. I turned to a forum because I wanted to know other opinion than 23-25 year olds who know me. I'm 22 years old, no kids, never took care of any kids either.
thank you for clearing that up.
although now i have to wonder about someone who goes around posting their pictures online to a random audience. The purpose behind that would be....what? Seems a little off-base if not downright unwise to me.
Thank you. I think my problem is that I been wanting a child with my ex-boyfriend and he ALWAYS SAID NO. No to marriage and no to children (and he is now turning 30). He was the one who put me in the education route and career-future-financial all that mess. When we broke up (in January '08) I was obviously devastated (7-YEARS DOWN THE DRAIN) and that's where the guy I am with came in the picture. It surprised me that he said yes to marriage and children...it was music to my ears BUT now seeing that I am making a huge mistake is definitely not something I want to get into.
Wanting marriage and children can consume someone and being focused on that can blind them to make a mistake. The good thing is you were smart enough to seek advice and accept it so that you could see that it would more than likely be a mistake.
Best advice I can give you is that if you truly want marriage and children and the whole happy life that it can be, think long term, be choosy and make sure that you choose wisely. The person you consider to create that with you needs to be someone that is on the same page as you. No, you don't hold a person's past against them for the rest of their lives, but you do need to look at the past and be able to pick up on patterns of behavior that are unhealthy as well as seeing if those patterns are still in play.
You are still young. I would put off serioius relationships for now until you finish school. It's just a few more months. It will help you focus on school and graduating as well as on yourself. Use this time to truly figure out the kind of man that you want standing beside you, to spend the rest of your life with and to father your children. Then once you have graduated and you are starting on the road to your career you can then take dating a bit more seriously and begin to see if that right man comes along. But DON'T settle for less. You are too young to be compromising on the rest of your life.
although now i have to wonder about someone who goes around posting their pictures online to a random audience.
True but there was a post about out of the single guys with no strings attached out there...how could I possibly have chosen this one with such an extensive background... well, MAYBE someone thought I was too ugly to get someone else. I'm not an ugly person but just wanted to put it out there that I'm just a regular 22-yr-old going through something that I wanted help with and which I absolutely am grateful for because my friends would have NEVER taken the time to write down what a lot of people wrote.
There are a couple of issues here - what's going on with him and what's going on with you.
Him - he likes the chase. He is enthralled w/ woman and then loses interest (likely: they become ... like, real people). He's irresponsible. No one has 4 unplanned pregnancies who is keeping himself in check. There is also the practical issue - he's not going to have a lot of time and money for you w/ 5 other kids. He's a good guy - so what? There are plenty of other good guys out there.
You - you are way too young to be thinking about having children. 1. You are not married. 2) 22 is very young these days. 3) you don't have a job. 4) Please please realize how hard it is to raise kids. They require enormous time, money (250k!!), and personal sacrifice.
Raising your quarter-million dollar baby - MSN Money (http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/CollegeandFamily/Raisekids/P37245.asp - broken link)
You do sound like a sweet girl, please be careful and make wise choices. Sounds like you are starting to think about this situation in the right way ;-)
Here are two other things that came to my mind. In the course of 10 years time, this man has fathered 5 children with 4 different women. According to what he told the OP, he didn't even know about the first 3 children until recently.
1) How many other children could he possibly have out there that he "doesn't" know about?
2) He obviously didn't use any protection with either of these 4 women because.... well they have 5 of his kids. How many other women has he had unprotected sex with and what could he, god forbid, be carrying?
Well, I'm my mother has two (me and my brother) and I'm the baby. I have not told my mom about him because I know she would freak out. I'm absolutely re-considering and will let him that that we should be FRIENDS.
Friends...?! I can envision that poor baby already...
Thank you. I am 22 years old & future graduate from Univ of Houston-DT (December 08). I graduated at 16 and been in and out of school for a while now but definitely finishing...although I'm book-smart...apparently I'm a dumba$$ when it comes to relationships.
What a beautiful smile you have! Keep it. That means steer clear of this man, do not continue contact until your desire for him has settled. Start dating or going out with friends to keep your mind off him.
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. I have not told my mom about him because I know she would freak out. I'm absolutely re-considering and will let him that that we should be FRIENDS.
I can envision that poor baby already...
I am 22 years old & future graduate from Univ of Houston-DT (December 08). I graduated at 16 and been in and out of school for a while now but definitely finishing...although I'm book-smart...apparently I'm a dumba$$ 
when it comes to relationships. 
