Ex giving xmast gifts back 5 months later of break up (dating, how to)
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Well it's been almost 6 months since I broke up with my ex. I Haven't seen her or talked to her at all. I have been dating and I am doing much better. I still have anger when I think about her how she was but no feelings towards her at all. Anyway, in April my roomate who is a mutual friend went to hung out with the "circle" and comes home and gave me a big bag (xmas bag) with all the Xmast gift I gave my ex from Paris saying your ex said that she knows that I spent a lot of money on them. I am a little bit confused...should she have returned the xmast gifts maybe after a week of break up or so or never? Why she waited this long to return the xmas gift when she had plenty of oportunity. What is your opinion? (When I broke up with her I didn't take her xmast gift with me.) (If you want to know details read my two threads: Is it fair or I want too much and I am confused)
Also, I am going to attend next month a birthday party where my ex is going to be there. I am going with my date there..what do you suggest the proper way to act to be around? I am kind of a person that I would just ignore her after saying hi if she says hi but I don't know if it's really proper. I never been in this type of situation. Waiting on everybody's input, thank you
I don't know why she gave them back 5 months later. Thats very odd. Keep the presents, they are probably pretty nice and maybe you can find someone in the future to appreciate them.
Now as for seeing her, just say hello and thats it. You don't owe her anything more than that.
She gave them back five months later because she knows you are dating someone and in her jealous woman mind (and I'm a woman, LOL) she is thinking I'll just do this to hurt him - yes it's true, some women do play these games - no I don't but know some who do. To her, she is getting you back by giving you back all of the gifts - she's thinking that somehow it'll hurt you and at the same time make you feel bad enough to call and strike up a conversation about it and then slowly work her way back into your graces.
As for your upcoming event, you should be mature, cordial and you should make sure that your current knows your ex is coming and that she doesn't have anything to worry about (not that you need to pad it for her) and when you both see your ex, you introduce them and and be a pleasant adult about it. Once the pleasantries are over, you move on and mingle like you would anywhere. If your ex is smart, she will also come with a date and she will also act mature. We can always hope LOL
Don't stress about it. If you are happy and you have a good relationship with your current g/f then these little things like meeting the ex shouldn't ever be an issue.
I don't know why she gave them back 5 months later. Thats very odd. Keep the presents, they are probably pretty nice and maybe you can find someone in the future to appreciate them.
Now as for seeing her, just say hello and thats it. You don't owe her anything more than that.
I always wanted those gifts back and I am glad I got them back. I bought gifts for her that I would enjoy also. I don't know if I should say hi or she first? To tell you the truth I don't really feel like initiating saying hello first.
She gave them back five months later because she knows you are dating someone and in her jealous woman mind (and I'm a woman, LOL) she is thinking I'll just do this to hurt him - yes it's true, some women do play these games - no I don't but know some who do. To her, she is getting you back by giving you back all of the gifts - she's thinking that somehow it'll hurt you and at the same time make you feel bad enough to call and strike up a conversation about it and then slowly work her way back into your graces.
As for your upcoming event, you should be mature, cordial and you should make sure that your current knows your ex is coming and that she doesn't have anything to worry about (not that you need to pad it for her) and when you both see your ex, you introduce them and and be a pleasant adult about it. Once the pleasantries are over, you move on and mingle like you would anywhere. If your ex is smart, she will also come with a date and she will also act mature. We can always hope LOL
Don't stress about it. If you are happy and you have a good relationship with your current g/f then these little things like meeting the ex shouldn't ever be an issue.
I started dating a few month ago she already knew that I had someone and I am a woman too.
My current knows every little detail, I don't have anything to hide about. I don't stress about it...it is just my roomate told me that she might give me a dirty look. Regardless, should I say hello first or let her to do it first. I don't really feel confortable saying hi first but I don't want to be rude either.
Without knowing too much about the other persons personality, I think that one possibility might be that she was waiting for the right time to give the gifts back. I had an ex who waited seven months before she gave me back some items. Her logic was that she waited until a point in time when doing do would not feel awkward (for her).
You are under no obligation to speak to this woman, but since you brought it up, and since you mention that you are still angry over some things (but you claim to have no feelings which is false because you would not be angry at someone you had no feelings towards) along with the fact that you seem to be searching for your ex's motivation in returning the gifts all suggest that you still have feelings for this person.
Without knowing too much about the other persons personality, I think that one possibility might be that she was waiting for the right time to give the gifts back. I had an ex who waited seven months before she gave me back some items. Her logic was that she waited until a point in time when doing do would not feel awkward (for her).
You are under no obligation to speak to this woman, but since you brought it up, and since you mention that you are still angry over some things (but you claim to have no feelings which is false because you would not be angry at someone you had no feelings towards) along with the fact that you seem to be searching for your ex's motivation in returning the gifts all suggest that you still have feelings for this person.
Oh so the right time to give xmast gifts back is 3 days after my birthday? I think this woman definatelly seeks attention. I am sometimes angry at the ex before this one the one I was with for 8 years still wondering about things and I don't have no feelings for her.
Weird that she waited so long, but maybe she meant to but just was lazy, or kept forgetting or was not sure how to approach it.
As for the party, I would see her, say "hello, nice to see you here you look well". Then - "oh is that [insert name] at the desert table? I have to go say hi to her."
I say be cordial, but don't have to be "warm", per say. It just makes you look petty and bitter if you ignore her. No need to create drama where drama does not exist.
I wouldn`t read to much into it really. Just be thankful that you got them back, and as for seeing her at this party...hold your head up high, smile alot, and be proud of your new date!
I wouldn`t read to much into it really. Just be thankful that you got them back, and as for seeing her at this party...hold your head up high, smile alot, and be proud of your new date!
Just curious who should say hi first? I never had to be in a situation where my ex is at mutual parties.
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