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Old 05-22-2008, 12:27 PM
 
1 posts, read 7,397 times
Reputation: 11

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Ok so last night, while not sober, my boyfriend and I laid down in bed and out of sexual frustration I said "we dont have great sex". But never finished, he told me that we would talk today. Today he said that I said other things, though I dont remember. I have never gotten nasty with hi, even said a whole lot of cross words. Usually when we fight it is alot of crying on my behalf. I could not picture my life with out this man in it. He is perfect and wonderful. What was ment to be said then was lately we have not had great sex. I have had nothing but amazing love life with him, in every way. I couldn't even picture being with another man, for the rest of my life. I know that he is mad and hurt and I appoligized for this profusely but he wont even speak to me now. What do I do? If there are any guys out there who can let me know what they would want their woman to do in this situation that would be great. I want to fix this, as I have never ever felt this way about anyone in my life before. Even just last night we were so in love . He said he loved be before leaving today and now he wont even speak to me. Oh and he told me this over text message.
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:39 PM
 
Location: West Texas
2,440 posts, read 3,673,148 times
Reputation: 3009
Not knowing either you or him makes it difficult to put anything into any sort of context. But I will say this as far as if it was me. Let me finish stewing. Let me calm down (if I was mad enough not to talk to you... which would be rare for me).

Once I've calmed down and we started talking, don't bring it up first thing to me. If I bring it up, okay. But if not, and I am just going on like nothing happened, give it some time. Then, one night... give me one night of good love making... go out of your way for me. Then, when we're cuddling afterwards, tell me that you are so sorry about what you said and that you didn't mean it. Tell me that what we just had was as wonderful as it always was.

Then... down the road when you know the pain of that night is almost gone, explain the whole truth to me. That there was a slump and you just wanted to help us get out of it.

This whole thing shouldn't be months but days... but again, that's me. And if I bring it up before hand, be honest from the get-go. Good luck!
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,078 posts, read 8,753,528 times
Reputation: 3619
Well, I've stuck my foot in my mouth like that recently to my fiance and I said " the sex last night sucked", he heard "sex with you sucks", that's not what I said though - you have to remember, men are VERY sensitive about sexual relations with their partners. The best thing you can do is to sit down and talk with him about it and explain exactly what you explained here and then get him drunk LOL JUST kidding, just sit down and talk with him. If he said he loved you, then he does. Don't worry too much.
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:50 PM
 
Location: Derby, KS
3,832 posts, read 7,939,249 times
Reputation: 1563
No matter what you say now he's always going to have what you said before burning in the back of his mind.

One of my friends once said, "A drunk body speaks a sober mind". Ever notice how some people manage to spill everything they normally hold in when they're drunk? Ever notice how some people can just say anything after a few beers when normally they'd keep their trap shut? You said what you said. And at the time you probably meant every word of it.
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Old 05-22-2008, 01:05 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
15,402 posts, read 14,509,694 times
Reputation: 21809
Well, if you don`t think the sex is all that, then why not try to improve it?
You could talk to him, after he calms down about this, and the two of you think of diffrent ways to improve your sex life.
Sex is a good thing, but communication is even better! It sure helps in all accounts, usually.
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Old 05-22-2008, 01:07 PM
 
271 posts, read 702,241 times
Reputation: 172
Like others said don't worry about it too much, we all say stupid things sometimes when we're drunk.

Texting always works for me to better explain myself, i say send him a text and tell him how sorry you are, that you didn't mean it in the way it came out......he loves you, he will get over it, just right now he has a bruised ego.
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Old 05-22-2008, 02:17 PM
 
Location: San Gabriel Valley, CA
12,128 posts, read 12,593,330 times
Reputation: 8081
Oh RUH-roh.

Oh my stars.

Backpeddle, girlfriend. Backpeddle as you've never backpeddled before! Row that emotional ship as if two killer sharks, an alligator and your student loan director were all after you.

Don't lie...but DO take him aside, tell him you were drunk and that you meant to say such-and-such. (Were you drunk? I saw "drunk" somewhere.) Tell him you feel like the world's leading *ss for having put it in that way, even by mistake, because you love him so much and you do love being in bed with him. Because you do. Right? (Unless you really do think there's something up with your sex life that needs improvement--this post is in response to assuming you really did just say it the wrong way and you really do like sex with him.) So tell him. He badly needs to know this from you.

When he gets home from work tonight, hand him a single red carnation and kiss his cheek. Show him you love him a lot.

Hugs and good luck!
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Old 05-22-2008, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
1,901 posts, read 2,989,410 times
Reputation: 1116
Why are/were you sexually frustrasted?
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Old 05-22-2008, 02:30 PM
 
8,187 posts, read 7,836,296 times
Reputation: 2836
Are you really sure that this is the guy for you? That you want to be with him the rest of your life? I ask because bad sex notwithstanding, I noticed you indicated that you fight a lot, that it includes tears etc...., If he is the right man for you (and if you are the right woman for him) fighting shouldn't be happening.
By the way, how old are you and your bf? Maybe that would clarify things...
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Old 05-22-2008, 03:15 PM
 
Location: Catonsville, MD
2,367 posts, read 3,916,236 times
Reputation: 1606
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Oh RUH-roh.

Oh my stars.

Backpeddle, girlfriend. Backpeddle as you've never backpeddled before! Row that emotional ship as if two killer sharks, an alligator and your student loan director were all after you.

Don't lie...but DO take him aside, tell him you were drunk and that you meant to say such-and-such. (Were you drunk? I saw "drunk" somewhere.) Tell him you feel like the world's leading *ss for having put it in that way, even by mistake, because you love him so much and you do love being in bed with him. Because you do. Right? (Unless you really do think there's something up with your sex life that needs improvement--this post is in response to assuming you really did just say it the wrong way and you really do like sex with him.) So tell him. He badly needs to know this from you.

When he gets home from work tonight, hand him a single red carnation and kiss his cheek. Show him you love him a lot.

Hugs and good luck!

I fully agree with JerZ. You said things that really hurt his feelings badly, even though you can't quite remember what you said, and you need to do all you can to apologize and convince him otherwise. (Unless, of course, there is a problem in the bedroom and then that does need to be addressed, but NOT when you're inebriated.) The mention of frequent fighting causes me concern -- while disagreements are hard to avoid in any close relationship, frequent fighting is not usually normal. Is everything ok with your relationship?

I hope you and bf get these things straightened out. Make sure he knows just how bad you feel for saying things you didn't mean. While he can't ever forget what you said, hopefully you can put this behind you.
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