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I have been married for over six years now. Sometimes he still makes me laugh. That is about all he does. I feel like my needs are not being met. He has not worked in over three years. I have had to work two jobs and beg my parents for money. I am now in financial ruin. I would like to say I was at least getting sex but that is not the case. We have not had sex in 6 months. He does some house work and he does take care of our dogs. So basically I am working then still coming home to fix supper and do the laundry and all other cleaning. He naps all day long. He has been hitting and pushing me more lately. It used to be only every couple months but now it is every few weeks. I bruised up my knee last time. I am so frustrated but at the end of the day I am so worried he will not be able to take care of himself or he will be so sad he will do something stupid to hurt himself. I don't know how to live with that. We have always had a rocky marriage. We have said many times we were going to get a divorce but never have. Can anyone relate to this?
No I cannot relate, given that I don't consort with fools; nor would I ever be so foolish.
I am so worried he will not be able to take care of himself or he will be so sad he will do something stupid to hurt himself. I don't know how to live with that.
Kelley, he made it to adulthood without you taking care of him. He will survive without you. He doesn't need to take care of himself right now because you're doing it for him. Take care of yourself and don't let him emotionally blackmail you into believing he won't live without you. He will. He's already shown you what he's made of. You're decision is how long are you willing to and/or have the resources to tolerate the situation.
About your fear of being alone--that's perfectly normal. Start right now rebuilding your support system with family and friends, anyone you can trust to support you in making the transition to your own independence. You will be amazed how much stronger you have become a year down the road when you can see your relationship in the rear view mirror.
Noone can take advantage of you without your permission. Time to stop allowing him to do so. You know you can support yourself financially which is a large part of the challenge of leaving. Move forward knowing you deserve a better life than you have.
asking a question point blank like that is something you need to decide for yourself,people here at the forum have no right to decide your future.Your asking more than for advice,your asking something major in your life from people who don't know you in your everyday life.
Kelley, he made it to adulthood without you taking care of him. He will survive without you. He doesn't need to take care of himself right now because you're doing it for him. Take care of yourself and don't let him emotionally blackmail you into believing he won't live without you. He will. He's already shown you what he's made of. You're decision is how long are you willing to and/or have the resources to tolerate the situation.
About your fear of being alone--that's perfectly normal. Start right now rebuilding your support system with family and friends, anyone you can trust to support you in making the transition to your own independence. You will be amazed how much stronger you have become a year down the road when you can see your relationship in the rear view mirror.
Noone can take advantage of you without your permission. Time to stop allowing him to do so. You know you can support yourself financially which is a large part of the challenge of leaving. Move forward knowing you deserve a better life than you have.
Best wishes,be strong!
I agree with this response. To answer your original question though - yes, you should get a divorce. No one should tolerate physical abuse. You deserve better.
Okay, here comes another opinion, and YES i have been in this situation. I got married when i was 19 (immature i know) he was 24. Anyways every year got worse, even though i knew that, i still lived my life the way everyone else wanted me to. Thats
I have been married for over six years now. Sometimes he still makes me laugh. That is about all he does. I feel like my needs are not being met. He has not worked in over three years. I have had to work two jobs and beg my parents for money. I am now in financial ruin. I would like to say I was at least getting sex but that is not the case. We have not had sex in 6 months. He does some house work and he does take care of our dogs. So basically I am working then still coming home to fix supper and do the laundry and all other cleaning. He naps all day long. He has been hitting and pushing me more lately. It used to be only every couple months but now it is every few weeks. I bruised up my knee last time. I am so frustrated but at the end of the day I am so worried he will not be able to take care of himself or he will be so sad he will do something stupid to hurt himself. I don't know how to live with that. We have always had a rocky marriage. We have said many times we were going to get a divorce but never have. Can anyone relate to this?
Why do you let him get away with this? We teach people how to treat us. He us USING you as a meal ticket, he clearly has no respect for you.
Your life would be easier if you didn't have to drag around dead weight. Thats NO Marriage, thats babysitting.
Girl, get him out of the house, get it in your name, file for divorce, change the locks. If he threatens you, get a gun, file a report. Any man who beats on his wife or girlfriend is a bully and if you stand up to them, they will more then likely give up. If not then shoot him, its that simple. Make sure he knows you are more then willing for him to leave the house feet first. Life is too short for BS like this.
Sorry about that, trying to type in the dark...lol
Anyways, long story short...I stayed in my marriage for 14 years, two kids later. I too worried about leaving him alone, and he wont find anyone and it will be all my fault. I finally had a friend who came and picked me and the kids up one time and never looked back. I still to this day tell people i never started living my life until me and the kids were on our own. You need to find it within yourself to do what needs to be done, and you know deep down what that is. Noone around you or even on here can make that decision for you. You shouldnt expect others to decide that for you. sure it may make it easier, but you wont find the peace you need unless you do it.
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