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Old 05-24-2008, 05:05 PM
 
Location: In my view finder.....
8,521 posts, read 13,985,405 times
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The older I get the more realistic I become.



I don't have a list. So what if she does not have a political view point, maybe she's not into politics. It sounds like many people are looking for a mirror image of themselves not another person. I love business and it excites me, but I don't expect "her" to love it because it do. What I do when I meet a girl is I find out what she likes and I match our "smilarities" together and build the relationship based on that. I don't have a list of seven things...............


But if she is not a fun person, we WILL NOT get along. I enjoy having lots of fun and hanging out.



Quote:
Originally Posted by victorianpunk View Post
Okay, I had a thread here Anyone have a weirder deal-breaker than me? where I said that if a girl didn't know what Valhalla was, I could never look at her seriously. However, I was randomly looking at this blog of some young woman who wrote EXTENSIVELY about silent movies, and it hit me: WOULD IT MATTER THAT SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT VALHALLA IS!? She's into silent movies. They had a picture of her there too, and she was pretty cute ( *sigh* and happily engaged)

Anyway, I have come up with a list of seven general things that would be a deal breaker for me. If anyone of these are true, I don't think it could work.

1. Does not read for the joy of reading. Here in central Jersey if people see you reading a novel for the fun of it, you get looked at like a man in Saudi Arabia eating a porkchop might be looked at. Sorry, but I could never be with one of the girls around here who, when they see a book in my hand ask "that's for a class you're taking, right?" How can someone not read? Didn't they learn anything from LeVar Burton?

2. Does not like nature and the outdoors. I told this story once, but I will tell it again so people get what I am saying. There is a family of red-tailed hawks that set up a nest in a telephone pool in my apartment complex, just outside my door. I can see mommy hawk sitting on her eggs is I stand in the right spot, and soon, I'll be able to see her feeding the chicks when they hatch...well, I told that to the girls at my job, and they looked at me as if I had just said I have sexual fantasies about John McCain. How can you not like nature? Not into "roughing it" I can see, but when a woman looks at pictures of the mountains and says "that looks boring" (true story) it's just too much for me.

3. Does not like any music except for hip-hop and that Emo crap. This is more for people around my age (26) I am into all kinds of music, ESPECIALLY new Wave, alternative, industrial, eletronic and metal. But I cannot stand the notion of someone who is ONLY intrested in listening to " BOOTY Butt-Cheeks" by Gangstalicious or "My-girlfriend-in-highschool-dumped-me-and-I-am-still-crying-about-it-at-age-35" by the Emo Emoticons.

4. Is not the least bit intrested in history. "this class is SOO boring" I once heard a girl say, "why the hell do I have to study this stupid WWII crap? I like Calculus, because you just give an answer and you don't have to,you know, think." <-----an actuall quote I once overheard a girl saying at a Starbucks. Need I explain why I could never be with someone like that?

5. Does not have a political opinion. We are still at war, gas prices are skyrocketing, the national debt is huge, California might legalize same-sex marriage, the dollar is falling, we might be headed into a recession or WORSE, there is a black man and a woman running...if she is not voting in this election, I am not "voting" for her. I'm a centralist politically, and I am not talking about positions here, but rather, the lack there of.

6. Does not have anything remotely resembling an intrest in mythology/spirituality. I did not say "religion" because that could just mean that she slavishly follows her parents religion. Not that I am against someone being religious, just that, she has to be willing to THINK about why she is in that religion. A few days ago at my job I waited on a family who's daughter had just graduated college...repeat, had just graduated college and the girl was still in her cap and gown and one of her brothers had said that their friend was taking a class in mythology, and the girl I KID YOU NOT, said "what's mythology?" I bet her parents must of thought that they had just wasted a TON of money on college that did this girl NO GOOD.

7. Is fat. My only physical deal-breaker. A few extra pounds, fine, but when it gets to the point that you look like you're about to stand up and do the "truffle shuffle" at any given minute...you know what I mean! I would much rather be with a woman who's somewhat unnattractive but still smart and intresting than a skinny "hottie" anyday, but I could just not be with someone who needs three mirrors to check their shoe-shine. Baby fat? that's fine...just fat,baby? No thanks.
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Old 05-24-2008, 05:12 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Kentucky
820 posts, read 2,591,749 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicagoRon View Post
The older I get the more realistic I become.



I don't have a list. So what if she does not have a political view point, maybe she's not into politics. It sounds like many people are looking for a mirror image of themselves not another person. I love business and it excites me, but I don't expect "her" to love it because it do. What I do when I meet a girl is I find out what she likes and I match our "smilarities" together and build the relationship based on that. I don't have a list of seven things...............


But if she is not a fun person, we WILL NOT get along. I enjoy having lots of fun and hanging out.
Agreed! You can have certain values in a person you're looking for, but when you don't allow yourself to date someone because she's a dem and you're a republican, etc., you're taking a lot of wonderful people out of the equation. No one needs a duplicate of themself to be happy.
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Old 05-24-2008, 05:13 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,000 posts, read 17,097,500 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicagoRon View Post
It sounds like many people are looking for a mirror image of themselves not another person.
My thoughts exactly on ALL these dealbreaker threads!
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Old 05-24-2008, 05:17 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 79,053,611 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluegrassgirl View Post
Agreed! You can have certain values in a person you're looking for, but when you don't allow yourself to date someone because she's a dem and you're a republican, etc., you're taking a lot of wonderful people out of the equation. No one needs a duplicate of themself to be happy.
I don't think so. Even though at this time I believe both parties are equally evil and wouldn't care to vote or argue about the subject at all, I believe the supporters of each one as a group share certain characteristics.
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Old 05-24-2008, 06:10 PM
 
1,009 posts, read 2,012,990 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluegrassgirl View Post
Agreed! You can have certain values in a person you're looking for, but when you don't allow yourself to date someone because she's a dem and you're a republican, etc., you're taking a lot of wonderful people out of the equation. No one needs a duplicate of themself to be happy.
That's the point, EVERYONE. Polygamy is illegal. You can only pick ONE PERSON. Sorry! So when you meet a lot of people, you have to narrow the field. And you're not just going to flip a coin. You are going to determine what type of person you really want to be with, and if someone doesn't work for you, you move on. You're taking a lot of wonderful people out of the equation ON PURPOSE. So you can end up with just one wonderful person. Get it?

Mine:

1) Is not monogamous.

2) Has slept with more men than she can count on her fingers and toes. Everybody has boyfriends before they find their true love. Everybody fools around in high school and college. That's fine. But if your nickname was Hand job Sally, and every guy on the football team had a piece of you, it's not gonna work.

3) Is obese. No surprise there. Women are supposed to be softer than men, and carry a little extra weight. Not, however, a LOT of extra weight.

4) Drugs of any kind. Take jessica alba, give her the personality of an angel. Now make her a meth-head. It's not gonna work, don't care how good you look.

5) Cusses a lot. I met a girl who was recently divorced, she was my age and beautiful. We flirted a lot, and I kinda fell for her, so I got her number. Once we started talking on the phone, she was dropping the f bomb every other word. Are you kidding me?

6) Has obvious, large, psychological issues with her father (read: sexually abused). While I feel for you, and do hope you get therapy, I am not a good therapist, nor do I wish to become the new 'father figure' in your life. Get your S together first.

7) Has kids. Yep, I don't want a package deal, or an insta-family.
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Old 05-24-2008, 06:46 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 41,379,780 times
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1. Does not have a pulse....okay, pretty important here...
2. She must be of legal age.
3. Has tattoos, piercings, or other body modifications
4. Has a political opinion that differs from mine AND insists on discussing it. If she doesn't talk about it, then I can deal with it. Same with religion...

I guess that's five...sorry.
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Old 05-24-2008, 06:51 PM
 
25,740 posts, read 25,375,241 times
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My only deal-breaker was (I'm off the market now) not being bright. I have to be able to have a conversation with the person. I can't help it, that's just my feeling on the subject. For me, a man doesn't have to have my exact interests, etc.--but he does have to have the intellect to discuss both his and mine, and to have a good time doing it.

Don't get me wrong--having similar interests definitely helps. It's just that I wouldn't have considered this a deal-breaker.
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Old 05-24-2008, 06:56 PM
 
Location: Catonsville, MD
2,358 posts, read 5,470,490 times
Reputation: 1685
I'm happily married and sure hope I don't have to be looking anymore, however, if I were, I do have some specific dealbreakers which people may or may not agree with.

1) No men who are abusive to me, people in the service industry, elders, children, animals -- basically anybody.

2) No addicts of any sort.

3) No unintelligent men. Formal post-high-school education not required, but intelligence is.

4) No men without a sense of humor.

5) No men with drastically opposing political or religious views.

6) No men who have no desire to travel.

7) No men who show disdain for the environment.
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Old 05-24-2008, 06:56 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles Area
3,306 posts, read 3,453,044 times
Reputation: 592
Quote:
It sounds like many people are looking for a mirror image of themselves not another person
I think so too.

Anyhow, any "deal breaker" I would have would be about something fundamental and not something fairly stupid like what music they like or if they don't even care much about music in the first place. But I couldn't see being with someone that:

1.) Is religious or spiritual.
2.) Overly positive about the world, that is those that seem to only see the "good in people".
3.) Has no real interests, regardless of whether they match mine or not.
4.) Is slutty.
5.) Does drugs (often related to 4)
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Old 05-24-2008, 07:08 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Kentucky
820 posts, read 2,591,749 times
Reputation: 556
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiaroscuro View Post
That's the point, EVERYONE. Polygamy is illegal. You can only pick ONE PERSON. Sorry! So when you meet a lot of people, you have to narrow the field. And you're not just going to flip a coin. You are going to determine what type of person you really want to be with, and if someone doesn't work for you, you move on. You're taking a lot of wonderful people out of the equation ON PURPOSE. So you can end up with just one wonderful person. Get it?

Mine:

1) Is not monogamous.

2) Has slept with more men than she can count on her fingers and toes. Everybody has boyfriends before they find their true love. Everybody fools around in high school and college. That's fine. But if your nickname was Hand job Sally, and every guy on the football team had a piece of you, it's not gonna work.

3) Is obese. No surprise there. Women are supposed to be softer than men, and carry a little extra weight. Not, however, a LOT of extra weight.

4) Drugs of any kind. Take jessica alba, give her the personality of an angel. Now make her a meth-head. It's not gonna work, don't care how good you look.

5) Cusses a lot. I met a girl who was recently divorced, she was my age and beautiful. We flirted a lot, and I kinda fell for her, so I got her number. Once we started talking on the phone, she was dropping the f bomb every other word. Are you kidding me?

6) Has obvious, large, psychological issues with her father (read: sexually abused). While I feel for you, and do hope you get therapy, I am not a good therapist, nor do I wish to become the new 'father figure' in your life. Get your S together first.

7) Has kids. Yep, I don't want a package deal, or an insta-family.
LOL Yes, I "get it". I've spent a lot of years on this earth "getting it". What you speak of in your top 7 are primarily values. That is what I said and I believe what ChicagoRon was speaking about. #6 that you speak of would be a rather unusual scenario I hope and I suspect is something that happened with a SO in your life. What I was speaking of is illustrated by your #7. You're limiting many young ladies that might just be the one to fill your heart because of that limitation. Most of the things in my seven were values as well. I think we should look for those people that match our values but not put ourselves into a corner looking for someone just like us.
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