U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
Old 05-24-2008, 11:34 AM
6,342 posts, read 8,742,571 times
Reputation: 3449


Okay, I had a thread here Anyone have a weirder deal-breaker than me? where I said that if a girl didn't know what Valhalla was, I could never look at her seriously. However, I was randomly looking at this blog of some young woman who wrote EXTENSIVELY about silent movies, and it hit me: WOULD IT MATTER THAT SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT VALHALLA IS!? She's into silent movies. They had a picture of her there too, and she was pretty cute ( *sigh* and happily engaged)

Anyway, I have come up with a list of seven general things that would be a deal breaker for me. If anyone of these are true, I don't think it could work.

1. Does not read for the joy of reading. Here in central Jersey if people see you reading a novel for the fun of it, you get looked at like a man in Saudi Arabia eating a porkchop might be looked at. Sorry, but I could never be with one of the girls around here who, when they see a book in my hand ask "that's for a class you're taking, right?" How can someone not read? Didn't they learn anything from LeVar Burton?

2. Does not like nature and the outdoors. I told this story once, but I will tell it again so people get what I am saying. There is a family of red-tailed hawks that set up a nest in a telephone pool in my apartment complex, just outside my door. I can see mommy hawk sitting on her eggs is I stand in the right spot, and soon, I'll be able to see her feeding the chicks when they hatch...well, I told that to the girls at my job, and they looked at me as if I had just said I have sexual fantasies about John McCain. How can you not like nature? Not into "roughing it" I can see, but when a woman looks at pictures of the mountains and says "that looks boring" (true story) it's just too much for me.

3. Does not like any music except for hip-hop and that Emo crap. This is more for people around my age (26) I am into all kinds of music, ESPECIALLY new Wave, alternative, industrial, eletronic and metal. But I cannot stand the notion of someone who is ONLY intrested in listening to " BOOTY Butt-Cheeks" by Gangstalicious or "My-girlfriend-in-highschool-dumped-me-and-I-am-still-crying-about-it-at-age-35" by the Emo Emoticons.

4. Is not the least bit intrested in history. "this class is SOO boring" I once heard a girl say, "why the hell do I have to study this stupid WWII crap? I like Calculus, because you just give an answer and you don't have to,you know, think." <-----an actuall quote I once overheard a girl saying at a Starbucks. Need I explain why I could never be with someone like that?

5. Does not have a political opinion. We are still at war, gas prices are skyrocketing, the national debt is huge, California might legalize same-sex marriage, the dollar is falling, we might be headed into a recession or WORSE, there is a black man and a woman running...if she is not voting in this election, I am not "voting" for her. I'm a centralist politically, and I am not talking about positions here, but rather, the lack there of.

6. Does not have anything remotely resembling an intrest in mythology/spirituality. I did not say "religion" because that could just mean that she slavishly follows her parents religion. Not that I am against someone being religious, just that, she has to be willing to THINK about why she is in that religion. A few days ago at my job I waited on a family who's daughter had just graduated college...repeat, had just graduated college and the girl was still in her cap and gown and one of her brothers had said that their friend was taking a class in mythology, and the girl I KID YOU NOT, said "what's mythology?" I bet her parents must of thought that they had just wasted a TON of money on college that did this girl NO GOOD.

7. Is fat. My only physical deal-breaker. A few extra pounds, fine, but when it gets to the point that you look like you're about to stand up and do the "truffle shuffle" at any given minute...you know what I mean! I would much rather be with a woman who's somewhat unnattractive but still smart and intresting than a skinny "hottie" anyday, but I could just not be with someone who needs three mirrors to check their shoe-shine. Baby fat? that's fine...just fat,baby? No thanks.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 05-24-2008, 11:42 AM
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,000 posts, read 17,095,270 times
Reputation: 12328
ONLY 7???

1. Does Drugs/Alcoholic (recovering and drug/alcohol free maybe)
2. Likes to beat up women or kids
3. Likes molesting kids or raping woman
4. Hates Animals
5. He's already married
6. Doesn't want sex
7. Isn't monogamous
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-24-2008, 11:52 AM
4,899 posts, read 16,618,002 times
Reputation: 3822
1. drugs/alcohol
2. has had sexual relations with the same sex--if you are gay,GREAT! dont try coming back to the other side--i dont want to marry/date you so dont try to hide it. just be who you are and everything will be kosher.
3. has some kind of sick sexual addictions--as in wants minors.
4. anger issues that can cause physical or mental abuse/manipulation
5. has phobia(s) that does not let the person function in every day life.
6. has no sense of humor
7.has no intelligence whatsoever. you have to be good at something. if its booksmart, great, if it's great with tools, great--just something!
knowing how to dress or do your hair cant count (unless that is your job)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-24-2008, 11:52 AM
213 posts, read 715,623 times
Reputation: 181
1. Can look you in the eye and lie to you without skipping a beat.
2.-7. Has a list of ironclad dealbreakers that allows him to justify writing you off , and he hasn't even met you yet!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-24-2008, 11:52 AM
Location: Home of King Willie the not so great
4,189 posts, read 3,160,964 times
Reputation: 809
You have 7 deal breakers-you are entitled. However, you might find someone stuck in one genre of music that passes all of your other criteria. You could hip them to other genres. Gangstalicious meet the Killers..Lil Jon meet God Forbid. I live in the dirty south and its an act of congress to meet a guy that is not stuck on just one genre or think I'm weird because I am into all genres. You just have to know how to "twurk" it to your advantage-especially if you meet a less than perfect person.

Anyways, I can't be with a guy with kids, cheats, or has a criminal record.

Last edited by pushkinswife; 05-24-2008 at 12:46 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-24-2008, 12:00 PM
Location: Beautiful Kentucky
820 posts, read 2,591,255 times
Reputation: 556
1. Can't or won't be faithful. Only interested in someone who believes and practices manogomy.

2. Drugs &/or alcohol problems. That includes alcohol use on a heavy basis. I drink on occasion myself, but don't care to spend my evenings with someone inebriated (?sp).

3. Someone who is mean, judgemental and disrespectful to others - that includes his own children, my children, his neighbors, or a stranger on the street.

4. Someone who doesn't enjoy sports. It's one of my favorite pastimes, especially catching baseball.

5. Someone who isn't affectionate. Doesn't know how to show affection. Doesn't enjoy affection.

6. Someone who can't hold a job and doesn't carry his weight financially.

7. Someone who takes me for granted, doesn't appreciate my acts of kindness, and doesn't reciprocate.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-24-2008, 01:55 PM
Location: WV
617 posts, read 1,899,629 times
Reputation: 416
1. Abusive, physically, verbally or emotionally to anyone
2. Active Addict (drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, whatever)
3. Bigot
4. Married
5. Inmate
6. Cross Dresser
7. Bi-sexual
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-24-2008, 03:11 PM
Location: CA
2,464 posts, read 5,820,795 times
Reputation: 2593
It's the little things that are dealbreakers because if you can't trust them with the little things then you can't trust them with anything as far as I'm concerned.

1.) They don't know how to fight. Yelling, name calling, stomping around like a child, grabbing me by the wrist or arms out of frustration... that's a big no no.

2.) Emotional manipulation - yeah, in any form... dealbreaker.

3.) Doesn't offer their seat to the elderly, women... too many guys now a days that have no idea how to be a gentleman.

4.) If he is disrespectful to service people (or anyone for that manner) - example, if he's bad to the waiter because he thinks he's too good... dealbreaker.

5.) Not Ostentatious - I like a guy to be low key and not feel the need to flaunt what he has because he can. My husband, picked me up on our first date in a minivan (company car)... I was in LOVE. Guy picks me up in a Lexus is not so impressive (probably a bit judgmental I admit).

6.) Married or has a girlfriend - dealbreaker but we can be friends.

7.) Liars - dealbreaker. Small lie, big lie... doesn't matter, they will be dump.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-24-2008, 04:34 PM
Location: Bay Area
2,406 posts, read 6,977,745 times
Reputation: 1852
1. Not 100% Heterosexual **sigh** Ricky Martin, I will be your Linda if you will be my Cole Porter, I will live a life of deceit for you.

2. Lying and deceit with himself and others (unless its Ricky Martin)

3. Unmotivated or unambitious in whatever his dreams may be (I'll motivate you baby)

4. Never left the town he is in (I'll get you a plane ticket RM)

5. Does not take care of himself (hygiene or fitness) (Ricky you can get fat and not shower)

6. Drinks, smokes alot, does drugs or eats fast/junk food daily (I'll go to White Castle for you and pick up a bag of N. Cali's finest)

7. Abusive to others in anyway, physical, emotional, sexual (sorry Ricky this one stays)

I guess there are very few true deal breakers for the right partner.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-24-2008, 05:01 PM
17 posts, read 54,989 times
Reputation: 23
Originally Posted by victorianpunk View Post
WORSE, there is a black man and a woman running...
I find this comment upsetting because I think a canidate's ability to run a country should have more inpact then their race or gender. Please don't tell me you're the type of person who wouldn't vote for someone JUST BECAUSE their black or a woman.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top