Why are women so "bi-phobic"? (personalities, cities, straight)

[artsyguy]

Gays hang out with each other. There are areas of certain cities where gay people live or work. There are gay organizations. Other cities have dance clubs where gays can meet up and make new friends. Gay people are all over the place and are very accepted in certain areas.

Originally Posted by buildings_and_bridges

How can we tell who's gay and who's not?

[buildings_and_bridges]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

Gays hang out with each other. There are areas of certain cities where gay people live or work. There are gay organizations. Other cities have dance clubs where gays can meet up and make new friends. Gay people are all over the place and are very accepted in certain areas.

Aren't you just referring to "out" gay people?

[MonaLisaVito]

Originally Posted by buildings_and_bridges

Maybe as time marches on and people grow more open-minded about ***** issues, it will be the basis for rejection less and less often.

Your word is bleeped out so I don't know what you said, but anyway, people have all kinds of dating criteria as you can see from the many dealbreakers post, so rejection will always exist no matter what.

This is hypothetical: I have a right to date someone who doesn't go to strip clubs, it is my right to reject them, it does not mean I need to grow more open minded as time marches on, it is my right to make that choice.

[artsyguy]

What is your point? You seem to be drilling down on this!

Sometimes closeted gays go out and hang out at gay organizations or gay bars. Then when the night is over they go back into the closet. I've seen it all the time.

Originally Posted by buildings_and_bridges

Aren't you just referring to "out" gay people?

[buildings_and_bridges]

Originally Posted by MonaLisaVito

Your word is bleeped out so I don't know what you said, but anyway, people have all kinds of dating criteria as you can see from the many dealbreakers post, so rejection will always exist no matter what.

This is hypothetical: I have a right to date someone who doesn't go to strip clubs, it is my right to reject them, it does not mean I need to grow more open minded as time marches on, it is my right to make that choice.

If I try to use the word again, but with some letters inserted, I'll wind up getting into trouble with moderators as I have before, probably. But it starts with a "q" and is a field of study at universities, used in the place of (and encompassing more than) gay and lesbian studies.

I never meant to imply that rejection won't always exist. But as the biphobia fades (as homophobia has over the years, as far as I can tell) I think rejection based on such prejudices will, also. I seriously doubt it will ever go away completely, but I think it will become uncommon.

Of course people have a right to reject people based on whatever they like. I didn't think we were debating what someone had the right to do. But I would disrespect someone for refusing to date another person simply because he or she has dark skin or light skin or something else that is innocuous and is not the person's choosing.

[mishigas73]

Originally Posted by buildings_and_bridges

Of course people have a right to reject people based on whatever they like. I didn't think we were debating what someone had the right to do. But I would disrespect someone for refusing to date another person simply because he or she has dark skin or light skin or something else that is innocuous and is not the person's choosing.

So, people have "the right" to be with whom they want to be with, yet you would "disrespect" those who choose not to be with certain people? Can you please explain that one?

[buildings_and_bridges]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

What is your point? You seem to be drilling down on this!

I'm trying to say that we can't possibly know who all is gay because many are closeted (though yes, some will go to gay clubs anyway, etc.) and so it doesn't make any sense to me to say that most are hypersexual and self-centered because any research would be skewed. Does that make sense?

But it also seems that you don't believe that people in general are capable of long-term monogamy, based on what you said about straight people, gay people, and bisexual people. I don't know how you can decide that is generally true about any of those groups but it seems like that's the conclusion you've come to.

[buildings_and_bridges]

Originally Posted by mishigas73

So, people have "the right" to be with whom they want to be with, yet you would "disrespect" those who choose not to be with certain people? Can you please explain that one?

You've never been miffed or even angry about it when you tried to encourage a friend to date another friend and for no apparent reason, the other friend refused? Or worse, the other friend refused simply because one of your friends is Arabic? That wouldn't seem prejudiced?

[artsyguy]

Did you not see that 50% of marriages end up in divorce? That doesn't mean people in general that means a lot of people.

The gay people who are out of the closet are more likely to engage in relationships since they are out of the closet. They don't have to stress out over hiding it.

The gay people I've met are hypersexual and very self centered. Sometimes they are just self centered and difficult to deal with. The research done on gays are on the gays that are out of the closet. Some of the research is done by psychologists who deal with in the closet gays who wish they were straight, pretend to be straight, may even date ladies, but on the side will have one night stands with men and fantasize about men (sexually) but still deny being homosexual or gay. It is all about being humiliated and ashamed of their homosexuality, that is why they stay in the closet and do not committ to any man. It is real sad.

Originally Posted by buildings_and_bridges

I'm trying to say that we can't possibly know who all is gay because many are closeted (though yes, some will go to gay clubs anyway, etc.) and so it doesn't make any sense to me to say that most are hypersexual and self-centered because any research would be skewed. Does that make sense?

But it also seems that you don't believe that people in general are capable of long-term monogamy, based on what you said about straight people, gay people, and bisexual people. I don't know how you can decide that is generally true about any of those groups but it seems like that's the conclusion you've come to.

[mishigas73]

Originally Posted by buildings_and_bridges

You've never been miffed or even angry about it when you tried to encourage a friend to date another friend and for no apparent reason, the other friend refused? Or worse, the other friend refused simply because one of your friends is Arabic? That wouldn't seem prejudiced?

Actually, if one lives by the "to each their own" mantra, this wouldn't mean anything, other than this person "wasn't for them".

Prejudice? Come on now. I shouldn't be able to date who I am *attracted* to. If that doesn't include, say, men of middle eastern decent, what's the big deal?