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Old 07-31-2022, 08:24 AM
 
588 posts, read 353,306 times
Reputation: 357

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I feel like a complete idiot. I met a guy on vacation in key west back in March. Had a great time and we kept in touch since. He kept telling me to come visit again. So here I am visiting key west for him for the weekend. He had asked me to stay with him but I booked a hotel just in case. Plans were to spend the whole weekend together minus the times he had to work.

We hung out Friday night and thought the night went fine. He stayed over and had work the next day so told me he would msg me after work at 7.

I didn’t hear from him all day.I was sitting there waiting for him thinking we were going out together. I finally msg him at 830 saying I’m hungry lol. He just wrote back “I was hungry all day”. I then said “when are you getting off work!?” Then he never responded. I am sitting there thinking the best of situation that maybe he fell asleep.

I go out to the bar and there he is with a friend. Completely shocked. Went over to him and said “what are you doing? I was here visiting you and waiting for you to msg after work. That’s completely disrespectful. I flew all the way here to hang with you”. He just said “oh I didn’t get your msg im sorry “ and then I walked away.

I am literally shocked. Like I was that bad that he felt the need to just ghost me after i came for him?!! Like I get if you’re not feeling it then just communicate that. Why are people so awful. No decency to just send me a quick message. Feel like I am always doing things for guys and making efforts where none is ever returned. Should I send him a message saying something ?
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Old 07-31-2022, 08:39 AM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
45,076 posts, read 29,761,613 times
Reputation: 66071
Quote:
Originally Posted by phillygirl123 View Post
I feel like a complete idiot. I met a guy on vacation in key west back in March. Had a great time and we kept in touch since. He kept telling me to come visit again. So here I am visiting key west for him for the weekend. He had asked me to stay with him but I booked a hotel just in case. Plans were to spend the whole weekend together minus the times he had to work.

We hung out Friday night and thought the night went fine. He stayed over and had work the next day so told me he would msg me after work at 7.

I didn’t hear from him all day.I was sitting there waiting for him thinking we were going out together. I finally msg him at 830 saying I’m hungry lol. He just wrote back “I was hungry all day”. I then said “when are you getting off work!?” Then he never responded. I am sitting there thinking the best of situation that maybe he fell asleep.

I go out to the bar and there he is with a friend. Completely shocked. Went over to him and said “what are you doing? I was here visiting you and waiting for you to msg after work. That’s completely disrespectful. I flew all the way here to hang with you”. He just said “oh I didn’t get your msg im sorry “ and then I walked away.

I am literally shocked. Like I was that bad that he felt the need to just ghost me after i came for him?!! Like I get if you’re not feeling it then just communicate that. Why are people so awful. No decency to just send me a quick message. Feel like I am always doing things for guys and making efforts where none is ever returned. Should I send him a message saying something ?
Nope. That would accomplish absolutely nothing. Do not communicate with him at all, and take it as a lesson learned. I'm sorry this happened, some people suck. Do not make much of an effort until you know someone well enough to know the do not, suck.
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Old 07-31-2022, 08:40 AM
 
1,495 posts, read 1,683,642 times
Reputation: 2628
Quote:
Originally Posted by phillygirl123 View Post
I feel like a complete idiot. I met a guy on vacation in key west back in March. Had a great time and we kept in touch since. He kept telling me to come visit again. So here I am visiting key west for him for the weekend. He had asked me to stay with him but I booked a hotel just in case. Plans were to spend the whole weekend together minus the times he had to work.

We hung out Friday night and thought the night went fine. He stayed over and had work the next day so told me he would msg me after work at 7.

I didn’t hear from him all day.I was sitting there waiting for him thinking we were going out together. I finally msg him at 830 saying I’m hungry lol. He just wrote back “I was hungry all day”. I then said “when are you getting off work!?” Then he never responded. I am sitting there thinking the best of situation that maybe he fell asleep.

I go out to the bar and there he is with a friend. Completely shocked. Went over to him and said “what are you doing? I was here visiting you and waiting for you to msg after work. That’s completely disrespectful. I flew all the way here to hang with you”. He just said “oh I didn’t get your msg im sorry “ and then I walked away.

I am literally shocked. Like I was that bad that he felt the need to just ghost me after i came for him?!! Like I get if you’re not feeling it then just communicate that. Why are people so awful. No decency to just send me a quick message. Feel like I am always doing things for guys and making efforts where none is ever returned. Should I send him a message saying something ?



Let it go. He is not worth more of your mental energy. Consider requiring more of how you want to be treated from guys before you start doing things for them. Be in tune to your self worth.
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Old 07-31-2022, 09:02 AM
 
4,586 posts, read 2,650,449 times
Reputation: 17229
Maybe you make so much effort it is off putting. It was rude of him to not be upfront with you. It was also foolish to travel any distance for someone you met on vacation. Why not seek out a relationship with someone that is more accessible, like within a 50 mile radius?
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Old 07-31-2022, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Canada
11,201 posts, read 10,766,922 times
Reputation: 27547
Quote:
Originally Posted by E-Twist View Post
Maybe you make so much effort it is off putting. It was rude of him to not be upfront with you. It was also foolish to travel any distance for someone you met on vacation. Why not seek out a relationship with someone that is more accessible, like within a 50 mile radius?
I agree.

Meeting someone while you’re in vacation mode is often quite different from reality, as you unfortunately learned.
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Old 07-31-2022, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Southern California
11,259 posts, read 12,461,933 times
Reputation: 13337
I'd never in a million yrs do anything like fly out for a guy I barely know, heck, I've never & haven't ever driven 1 hr for some stranger...call me boring or whatever, ha! I hope he paid for 1/2 of this trip for you to come out, but I doubt it.

Why in the world would you message him ever again anymore? Don't do it. You were just someone out of who knows how many other women in his life who he wanted to divert his attention from his loser life for a while for his own selfish needs so he used you for the moment & ghosted you when he didn't care anymore.

There could be countless possibiliites of why he even wanted you to come out in the 1st place. That's what happens when you go this far out of your way for a stranger. Heck, people barely know some people they've known for 10+ yrs.

My guess...his girlfriend was going out of town for that same weekend, so he figured he'd have a little fun & contact the gullible, softies of all the women he halfway kind of knew (YOU) who'd actually agree to fly way out there to be w/ him for the weekend.

So however much longer you have on your trip, just enjoy yourself, enjoy the sights, shop, etc. ALONE until you have to go back. No use flying back at this very moment now if you don't want to.
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Old 07-31-2022, 10:40 AM
 
Location: Midwest
7,104 posts, read 9,132,619 times
Reputation: 13451
Quote:
Originally Posted by E-Twist View Post
Maybe you make so much effort it is off putting. It was rude of him to not be upfront with you. It was also foolish to travel any distance for someone you met on vacation. Why not seek out a relationship with someone that is more accessible, like within a 50 mile radius?
Welcome to the world of creeps, OP. Stick around the hood. There are plenty of good men, and plenty of pathetic men, within a 10 mile radius of where you live or work.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
I'd never in a million yrs do anything like fly out for a guy I barely know, heck, I've never & haven't ever driven 1 hr for some stranger...call me boring or whatever, ha! I hope he paid for 1/2 of this trip for you to come out, but I doubt it.

Why in the world would you message him ever again anymore? Don't do it. You were just someone out of who knows how many other women in his life who he wanted to divert his attention from his loser life for a while for his own selfish needs so he used you for the moment & ghosted you when he didn't care anymore.

There could be countless possibiliites of why he even wanted you to come out in the 1st place. That's what happens when you go this far out of your way for a stranger. Heck, people barely know some people they've known for 10+ yrs.

My guess...his girlfriend was going out of town for that same weekend, so he figured he'd have a little fun & contact the gullible, softies of all the women he halfway kind of knew (YOU) who'd actually agree to fly way out there to be w/ him for the weekend.

So however much longer you have on your trip, just enjoy yourself, enjoy the sights, shop, etc. ALONE until you have to go back. No use flying back at this very moment now if you don't want to.
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Old 07-31-2022, 10:42 AM
 
2,834 posts, read 2,315,533 times
Reputation: 2794
Maybe I expect too much, but if I'm going to visit someone for the weekend, I'd expect them to take a day off or two from work at the very least (especially if it's a romantic interest). So for me, that would already tell me this guy wasn't that into me to begin with.

Take it as a lesson learned, next time as others have said don't go a visit a guy you met once on vacation, or if you do make sure that's the not the sole purpose of your visit.
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Old 07-31-2022, 11:04 AM
Status: "Goodbye" (set 15 days ago)
 
142 posts, read 65,103 times
Reputation: 609
I LOVE that you just turned and walked away after his lame%#% excuse! Do not undo that power by messaging him. He is the loser.


Since you said you feel taken advantage of often, maybe you could explore some strategies to help you with that. You don't need to drasticallly change yourself. The right guy will surface.

I do agree with others about being careful flying to meet someone you do not know. Let them come to you on your 'turf' .

Good luck!
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Old 07-31-2022, 11:26 AM
 
588 posts, read 353,306 times
Reputation: 357
Quote:
Originally Posted by bebe182 View Post
Maybe I expect too much, but if I'm going to visit someone for the weekend, I'd expect them to take a day off or two from work at the very least (especially if it's a romantic interest). So for me, that would already tell me this guy wasn't that into me to begin with.

Take it as a lesson learned, next time as others have said don't go a visit a guy you met once on vacation, or if you do make sure that's the not the sole purpose of your visit.
Well we had planned to spend the day together Monday and then all the nights I was here. But I normally would not do something like this and fly for a guy. Key west is my favorite place so I figured why not. I also had decided I wanted to live it up this summer and travel because we changed custody schedules with my son and I have every other weekend off.

But yea I’m definitely not doing something like this again!
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