Dating sites work for anybody? (girl, lover, husbands, children)

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by TKramar

Well, in a way, that's what I'm saying. We met through an free online service, after talking with each other...and interacting with OTHER people there on their "forums"...and had 18 interesting months together...ups and downs, like any other relationship...but it took that long to find out we weren't compatible...isn't it a great thing that we didn't run out and get married??

Of course it is!

[miu]

Originally Posted by Rathagos

Ah... it's the pleasure of real, materialistic women such as yourself that spring those lowly men "desperate for a date" (such as myself) to the dating websites. Warmth like yours in your post makes wrapping my arms around a metal toilet in Alaska seems inviting.

Materialistic? My boyfriend doesn't make that much money. Neither of us are rolling in cash. lol. But if I were to have children, then I would get a lot more serious about the financial situation.

As to a lack of warmth, I'm not going to date any guy unless we have a lot more in common that just a physical attraction.

Anyway, I'm not going on any dating website to "wink" at someone that I think I might like to have lunch with.

I think that there was some survey done, and most successful hookups were the result of meeting their S/O through mutual real life friends.

[optiflex]

Do not be surprised if the photo's don't match the person(at least not in weight, or age, lol) Did you put in your profile that you're way too analytical? That you're trying a numbers aproach? Then don't be surprised they don't put in that they're arguementive, self centered, or anything like that. LOL

As an old computer user I can assure the worst hell hound on earth can make the most syruppy, hot, desirable profile beyond you're wildest imagination, but always try to remember, if she was all that, she wouldn't be available, some other guy would be on her like a dog on a bone, wayyyy ahead of you.

Originally Posted by rekesk

I'm giving match.com and okcupid a try recently.

I am usually the type who prefers to date people through socializing/networking, and not through the computer, simply because I don't know what I am going to get. However, a colleague recently told me that I've become too analytical about the whole dating game, and that I should give the numbers game approach a try. He said that online dating is pretty harmless and well I got convinced.

So can anybody on here testify about their own experiences? I just got done winking at a bunch of chicks on match.com and in the next couple of days I'll send messages out to them to see if I get any luck. If nothing turns up, I guess its rinse and repeat.

[DontH8Me]

Originally Posted by miu

Why would anyone want to date other singles that are that desperate for a date? As I've said before, who wants to be trying to date someone that is also checking out numerous other prospects at the same time? It's like going to a club and a cute guy is walking around with a sign around his neck that says he's available and he's followed by a herd of single women. Would you want to join that crowd trying to get his attention? Who wants to be part of that cattle call audition process? Do you think that any of those contestants in those The Bachelor tv shows really enjoyed themselves under that pressure? I seem to remember more than a few women in tears or backstabbing someone in order to try to get ahead in the competition.

I greatly prefer finding a single man that isn't actively looking for a relationship. It makes for a more relaxed and enjoyable encounter and with a lot less pressure to have to catch his fancy.

If I needed to catch myself an interesting (to me) single man, I would buy myself a classic esoteric sports car like a BMW e30 M3, learn to drive it well and be a member of the BMW Sports Car Club. As it is, I often joke with my boyfriend that I lured him in with my collection of old cars. But it really depends on what kind of person you want to date.

I think the OP's intent was to get testimony about others' "own experiences" with online dating, not a diatribe lambasting the qualities of the people who use dating websites.

FWIW, I prefer the single man find me, not vice versa. Call me old fashioned, I suppose. But I am pretty sure the OP wanted to hear about other people's own experiences with different dating sites.

[Rathagos]

Originally Posted by miu

Materialistic? My boyfriend doesn't make that much money. Neither of us are rolling in cash. lol. But if I were to have children, then I would get a lot more serious about the financial situation.

To quote you're earlier post about this: "If I needed to catch myself an interesting (to me) single man, I would buy myself a classic esoteric sports car like a BMW e30 M3, learn to drive it well and be a member of the BMW Sports Car Club. As it is, I often joke with my boyfriend that I lured him in with my collection of old cars." Last time I checked.. BMW is not the cheapest car on the lot.

Originally Posted by miu

As to a lack of warmth, I'm not going to date any guy unless we have a lot more in common that just a physical attraction.

Thank you for illustrating my point for me. If you meet someone through a dating site or chat room or forum, you definitely will know the person before you see them. Unless, of course, you are insinuating that you have the special capability to find a physical attraction with someone's writing?!?

Don't see this as an attack, it's definitely not. Just using what you post. Like DontH8Me said... it seems the OP is just trying to find out success or failure of past people who may have used to options... not to have people spew rhetoric about their personal philosophies about the societal impact of using these sites. I went out of bounds on that, too.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by Rathagos

Unless, of course, you are insinuating that you have the special capability to find a physical attraction with someone's writing?!?

You know, I believe I have that special capability. Can't claim it's a 100% accurate (as it can't be), but it works fine a good portion of the time. I can sort of tell by the opinions and experiences people share whether they're fairly attractive or not without them having to shove it under my nose as some do.

[TKramar]

I actually have just as much problems dating "a friend of a friend" as I do dating someone from work.

If the relationship sours, the other thing can sour also.

[future1]

Originally Posted by optiflex

Do not be surprised if the photo's don't match the person(at least not in weight, or age, lol)
As an old computer user I can assure the worst hell hound on earth can make the most syruppy, hot, desirable profile beyond you're wildest imagination, but always try to remember, if she was all that, she wouldn't be available, some other guy would be on her like a dog on a bone, wayyyy ahead of you.

Yes, pictures lie and with Photoshop they lie a lot!

As far as why a woman would be on a dating site there are more reasons than space to list them here. Just like men some women work long hours, travel a lot, have other committments and find dating sites a means to connect when they can. Generalizations don't work well in this situation any better than most others.

[mari4him]

Originally Posted by rekesk

So can anybody on here testify about their own experiences?

Worked for me. I met the man I will be marrying in just under 3 weeks time on a Christian dating site. We hit it off right away and found we shared many of the same values, beliefs and goals. In my opinion, this has probably been the best, most open and most sincere relationship I have ever had. I couldn't be happier. So yes, it does work out for some people.

Originally Posted by miu

Why would anyone want to date other singles that are that desperate for a date?

A misconception that all people on dating sites are somehow desperate for a date. While true there probably are some, maybe even many, it is not a fair nor accurate generalization (generalizations rarely are).

Speaking from my own experience, I did try out a dating site. A Christian one that was offering a free trial. I was far from desperate for a date. In fact, I was very content with my life as a full time student and full time mom of two teenagers, both of which kept me happy and fulfilled. However, not being one to hit the clubs/bars and being pretty busy with school and my kids, curiousity with the dating site hit and figured why not give it a shot, not much to lose. The reality is I wasn't actually expecting to actually meet anyone, much less the man I would later be marrying.

There are some people that use online dating sites for reasons other than desperation. Some of them actually do have full, productive and happy lives. Online sites just provides a different route to the possibility of meeting someone special.

Originally Posted by miu

As to a lack of warmth, I'm not going to date any guy unless we have a lot more in common that just a physical attraction.

Precisely the beauty of online dating sites. You actually get to know someone for other attributes/qualities, than their physical appearance at first. My fiance and I spent an amazing amount of time getting to know each other, talking about anything and everything under the sun from God/faith to pizza and favorite colors before ever meeting. By the time we met in person, yes the physical attraction was definately there instantly, I think we were both a bit wow'ed at that, but most importantly the intellectual, spiritual and even emotional connection was already the foundation of what would come next.


So.... while no, it may not work for everyone. It may not even be everyone's cup of tea. Please just don't generalize everyone on those sites as being "desperate" for a date. Some of them just have their priorities in order, children, school, work, etc. albeit still also having a desire to find someone to share their lives with. And truly, there is nothing wrong with knowing that what you seek is a relationship with substance and not just casual dating experiences.

[jimboburnsy]

Match.com and Dr. Neil Warren's site are responsible for a number of my in-laws.