Mentally ill friends...sigh (how to, women, therapy, advice)

[movin'on]

I am wondering how to deal with this friend I have who suffers from severe depression. I find myself taking the things she does personally, which may or may not be true. At any rate, I feel like I have to walk on eggshells lest she go off on me. I do try to understand but sometimes I really feel like she uses the depression to be irresponsible, cancel at the last minute or just be rude. Thoughts?

[victorianpunk]

Originally Posted by movin'on

I am wondering how to deal with this friend I have who suffers from severe depression. I find myself taking the things she does personally, which may or may not be true. At any rate, I feel like I have to walk on eggshells lest she go off on me. I do try to understand but sometimes I really feel like she uses the depression to be irresponsible, cancel at the last minute or just be rude. Thoughts?

Well, one of the symptoms of depression is loss of intrest in friends and activities that one use to enjoy, so you really shouldn't take it personally. Is your friend seeking help? That would be the biggest issue, as depression can be lessoned with the right therapy.

I would say, assuming your friend is seeing a therapist, that you slack off on planned activities and instead just talk on the phone more. Women especially like to talk when they are depressed. Also, if she snaps and yells, DON'T YELL BACK, as that will only cause her to blame herself for angering you and make her feel worse.

Just talk to her, count on activities with her less, and hopefully, with the right care, she will get better. The definition of friendship is being there when someone needs it, and she needs support and a good ear to listen. If the shoe was on the other foot, and she was a good friend, I am sure she would do the same for you.

[movin'on]

Excellent advice, VictorianPunk. You are so correct. This is just what I am going to do. Thank you!

[victorianpunk]

Originally Posted by movin'on

Excellent advice, VictorianPunk. You are so correct. This is just what I am going to do. Thank you!

Just wondering though...is your friend seeking therapy? If she can't afford it, most major universities that have a graduate psychology program offer free counceling.

[artsyguy]

yaaaaa. Just ignore her.

Originally Posted by movin'on

I am wondering how to deal with this friend I have who suffers from severe depression. I find myself taking the things she does personally, which may or may not be true. At any rate, I feel like I have to walk on eggshells lest she go off on me. I do try to understand but sometimes I really feel like she uses the depression to be irresponsible, cancel at the last minute or just be rude. Thoughts?

[artsyguy]

and believe me most of the time the services are terrible and borderline catastrophic.

Originally Posted by victorianpunk

Just wondering though...is your friend seeking therapy? If she can't afford it, most major universities that have a graduate psychology program offer free counceling.

[movin'on]

Originally Posted by victorianpunk

Just wondering though...is your friend seeking therapy? If she can't afford it, most major universities that have a graduate psychology program offer free counceling.

Yes, she is on medication but isn't very good at keeping appts with therapists. She does have insurance. Again, I end up thinking she is using the depression as an excuse, which is probably not fair of me. I just don't cancel Dr. appts at the last minute, as she does. It seems disrespectful to me to not give a therapist or Dr. 24 hours notice - at least.

[movin'on]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

yaaaaa. Just ignore her.

You are kidding, right?

[Smckown]

Well....perhaps she is a bit of a physcho B**** sorry but doesn't realize it because most of them don't and therefor until someone physically makes them go to the appointments they won't go because they don't think there is anything wrong with them. those who admit...good for them. Are you sure she is taking her medication? It should help if she really is. If it's not, then she needs something else.

[artsyguy]

the medication could be making her more psycho