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casual sex is not using someone for sex. it is a mutaul agreement two strangers (sometimes friends) come into for a lil bit of time in order to find enjoyment. it goes both ways.
it would be using someone if one of the individuals wanted a relationship, some thing more formal, while the other pretended to want something formal but just came along for the ride (no pun intended) and left. thats using someone. but if both people are in agreement then it is an exchange of services.
as for the hyper sexed manipulative world.
that might be more prevalent in the fake boystown area/weho. its similar to the sunset strip area where you find women more interested in the car you drive than what makes you laugh. that aspect of life does exist, but to generalize that to a larger group of individuals is ignorant.
i have many fruity friends and most of them are not out manipulating other men. most of them are in committed relationships and are very open about how they feel about eachother. they maintain an honesty that others might shy away from.
the rest of my friends of the gay persuasion are out to meet a quality individual, but they understand that they gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find their prince. and frog does not nec mean awful guys, it just means guys that they dont click with. there is no chemistry, so if it does not work out they move on to the next frog.
some of my friends are out just for sex tho, but they make that very clear from the begining. if they pull a guy at the club or the bar, and go home with them, they will make it clear its just for the night. how do i know? because i talk to my friends about thier lives. and more importantly i talk to them about honesty and respect.
when you are honest with yourself you can be more honest with others. my friends like to put it out on the table so as to avoid any type of misunderstanding. to avoid having someone be jaded or feel used.
of course my friends are a bit more mature, but it does not suprise me that some young minded gays can be catty and mean. that is not the rule tho.
most of my gay guy friends are looking for the same thing other guys are looking for.
a chef in the kitchen
a gentleman in the streets
and a ho in the sheets.
in the mean time they have fun.
most are more relationship minded, but all like to have fun.
and while there is a lot of competition in gay world, that does not equal dog eat dog environment.
at least not for them.
but this is the case for my friends who are
in LA
mostly black and brown men
educated
24-44
mature
stable
if they were superficial maybe they wouldnt care about respect or honesty...
Fantastic post. I agree with everything you said.
I must be living in another dimension because I have never found anything or anybody as you have described. Sounds like a paradise to me the way you put it. Although I was talking about white men not black men.
I'm trying to find OLDER gay men to date but it is virtually impossible in this town. I can't wait to leeeeeave.
Quote:
Originally Posted by the one
no AG, sex without committment is just fun.
casual sex is not using someone for sex. it is a mutaul agreement two strangers (sometimes friends) come into for a lil bit of time in order to find enjoyment. it goes both ways.
it would be using someone if one of the individuals wanted a relationship, some thing more formal, while the other pretended to want something formal but just came along for the ride (no pun intended) and left. thats using someone. but if both people are in agreement then it is an exchange of services.
as for the hyper sexed manipulative world.
that might be more prevalent in the fake boystown area/weho. its similar to the sunset strip area where you find women more interested in the car you drive than what makes you laugh. that aspect of life does exist, but to generalize that to a larger group of individuals is ignorant.
i have many fruity friends and most of them are not out manipulating other men. most of them are in committed relationships and are very open about how they feel about eachother. they maintain an honesty that others might shy away from.
the rest of my friends of the gay persuasion are out to meet a quality individual, but they understand that they gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find their prince. and frog does not nec mean awful guys, it just means guys that they dont click with. there is no chemistry, so if it does not work out they move on to the next frog.
some of my friends are out just for sex tho, but they make that very clear from the begining. if they pull a guy at the club or the bar, and go home with them, they will make it clear its just for the night. how do i know? because i talk to my friends about thier lives. and more importantly i talk to them about honesty and respect.
when you are honest with yourself you can be more honest with others. my friends like to put it out on the table so as to avoid any type of misunderstanding. to avoid having someone be jaded or feel used.
of course my friends are a bit more mature, but it does not suprise me that some young minded gays can be catty and mean. that is not the rule tho.
most of my gay guy friends are looking for the same thing other guys are looking for.
a chef in the kitchen
a gentleman in the streets
and a ho in the sheets.
in the mean time they have fun.
most are more relationship minded, but all like to have fun.
and while there is a lot of competition in gay world, that does not equal dog eat dog environment.
at least not for them.
but this is the case for my friends who are
in LA
mostly black and brown men
educated
24-44
mature
stable
if they were superficial maybe they wouldnt care about respect or honesty...
Fantastic post. I agree with everything you said.
I must be living in another dimension because I have never found anything or anybody as you have described. Sounds like a paradise to me the way you put it. Although I was talking about white men not black men.
I'm trying to find OLDER gay men to date but it is virtually impossible in this town. I can't wait to leeeeeave.
Might I remind everyone that it is the quality of the relationship that counts. Obviously this person has trouble with "quality control"
I'm sorry. But don't you dare judge me! You do not know me, and I’m quite sick of your b/s over gays being sex addicts, and lacking the ability to form functional, loving relationships.
I really thank those of you that have offered genuine compassion and help
while my group of friends are pretty good catches, not everyone in LA is like that. apparently the gay scene is smaller and smaller, even as more and more people come out at a younger age.
you have all types of personalities, but i do beleive that the more humble and hard working folks will treat you better in the long run. regardless of age. but dont fret young man. you have a lot of life to live. enjoy it. and where do you live?
while my group of friends are pretty good catches, not everyone in LA is like that. apparently the gay scene is smaller and smaller, even as more and more people come out at a younger age.
you have all types of personalities, but i do beleive that the more humble and hard working folks will treat you better in the long run. regardless of age. but dont fret young man. you have a lot of life to live. enjoy it. and where do you live?
I'm currently here in Huntington, WV. A college town of about 50,000 (metro area of about 300,000. So not much to choose from in gay world.
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