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We have all seen guys who have the "weirdest" taste in women. Guys who like big girls, guys who like older woman, white guys from Northern Europe who come to America for, amongsth other things, black women ( I have met three such men in my life) guys who like dorky girls (that's me) guys who dig bald women etc etc.
What I have noticed is, while men are, as a whole, all over the place with what they like in a woman, women are, by and large, into the same kind of guy, i.e., tall, dark and handsome. For men, however, there is no equivalent desirable trait.
Look at it this way: we have all heard of "chubby chasers", that is, men who like big girls. While most men prefer skinnier or athletic women, these guys like em LARGE. Despite the fact that most men have "thin" on the top of their desirable traits list, there is a sizeable fraction of the male population that likes 'em meaty.
The flip side is: women usually put "tall" on the top of their physical qualities list...when was the last time you heard of a "short chaser", i.e., a woman who prefers men who are shorter than her? Probably never, because they most likely don't exist.
Fact is, if you ask 100 men to name who they think the hottest woman on Earth is, they would give you 100 different answers. I would say Ellen Page, someone else would say Jessica Alba, someone else would say Sarah Silverman, another guy would say Monique, someone else would say Zhang ziyi etc etc. Men are all across the board with what they want, while women?
Christian Bale, George Clooney, and Brad Pitt always get thrown in there...and yes, Tom Cruise, but women do not imagine him to be short in real life.
Bottom line, if you're a woman, no matter WHAT SHAPE YOU ARE, HOW OLD YOU ARE, OR ANYTHING ELSE, there is a man or two or 200 somewhere who are daydreaming about someone who looks just like you...if you're a man who's 5'1, with acme, and a bald spot, I can promise you that no woman is daydreaming about someone who looks like you. A woman might settle for a man who is not good looking if he has other qualities, but in general, just about all woman have the same notion about what "mr Perfect" looks like.
The fact that all women are HOT to somebody while less than half of men are hot to any woman is one advantage women have over men, that few of them realize.
EDIT: Please not that I am only talking about innitial, phyical attraction here, not what makes a long term relationship. I am not saying men just hook up with women who have a certain trait that they like, only that that is what they are INNITIALLY ATTRACTED TO. Example: a man likes short haired women, and his friends introduce him to a woman with short hair, he is INNITIALLY attracted to her short hair, but after awhile, he talks to her, and realizes that she is not very intelligent and a very self centered person. Hence, he does not ask her for her number.
Understand? Someone can be physically attracted to someone and not be attracted to that person as a person.
Also, yes, women do get over what men look like and often do go out with less attractive men. Thing is: at no point do they think that they are hot. How awful must it be to be in a relationship and know, no matter how much she might like you as a person, that your lover does not find you to be sexy? It is something that most women will never know, but many men feel all the time.
Last edited by victorianpunk; 05-26-2008 at 10:40 PM..
women are, by and large, into the same kind of guy, i.e., tall, dark and handsome.
LOL, no wonder there's a little shortage of those, right...
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Bottom line, if you're a woman, no matter WHAT SHAPE YOU ARE, HOW OLD YOU ARE, OR ANYTHING ELSE, there is a man who is daydreaming about someone who looks just like you..
well first, i think you are a closet chubby chaser, Victorianpunk, cause it's all you seem to talk about. obsessed comes to mind---
and secondly, i think you have it completely opposite. its the men that would list the same 5 women, while the women love quirky, hairy, fat, funny etc.
check out the thread where we list our favorite "wierd" hotties...
Some men seem to objectify and stereotype women by race, culture and other visual aspects. They feel a need to sample women as if at some buffet. Luckily I found myself a great boyfriend without this sucky attitude.
well first, i think you are a closet chubby chaser, Victorianpunk, cause it's all you seem to talk about. obsessed comes to mind---
and secondly, i think you have it completely opposite. its the men that would list the same 5 women, while the women love quirky, hairy, fat, funny etc.
check out the thread where we list our favorite "wierd" hotties...
First of all, I find chubby chasers funny, but that's it...I don'r care what Cosby said, there is not "always room for Jello". That was just the best example I could use, which no one can refute: as obsessed as the media is with skinny women, there are allot of men who actually prefer big women. As big a deal as people make about height, there allot of women who actually prefer...a man who is taller than they are. That is the undeniable point I am trying to make. No one has ever heard of a woman who prefers men who are shorter than she is, as in 5'2ish.
Also, that thread only confirms what I am saying...no women said Danny Devitto or Micheal Meyers. Also, celebrities are different from who we want in real life: if Tom Cruise was not rich and famous, his height would make him undesireable to most women. Take away the glamout and glitts money, and when it becomes a question of "what kind of guys do you like?" women all say the same thing.
Some men seem to objectify and stereotype women by race, culture and other visual aspects. They feel a need to sample women as if at some buffet. Luckily I found myself a great boyfriend without this sucky attitude.
It isn't "objectifying" to say that a man likes a certain phyisical quality: that is called BEING HUMAN. And stereotyping? where did that come from? Some guys just like the way black/asian/white women look. What's wrong with liking the way someone looks? That is called being a healthy homosapien.
women are, by and large, into the same kind of guy, i.e., tall, dark and handsome.
Not to be mean, but I'm guessing that you are not tall, dark or handsome?
Also with men, they are more into having casual sex so anything with boobs and the other requisite female body parts is going to appeal to them. But if we're talking about marriage and the future mother of their children, then men will get much pickier in their choice of women.
Anyway, as a Chinese woman, if I ever had a sense that a man was initially attracted to me because of my race, then no way would I go out with him. One of the worst pickup lines to use on me would be anything along the lines of "Hey China doll... "
Not to be mean, but I'm guessing that you are not tall, dark or handsome?
Also with men, they are more into having casual sex so anything with boobs and the other requisite female body parts is going to appeal to them. But if we're talking about marriage and the future mother of their children, then men will get much pickier in their choice of women.
No, I am not afraid to admit that I am short, dark, and rather unappealing. Big deal, it's just looks. Also, not all men just want sex. The silent majority of men, like me, want someone to settle down with eventually, in the meantime, just want someone to be close to. Personally, while I am TERRIFIED about being sexual with a woman ( I think of it like slaying a dragon: something I like to read about and watch movies about and daydream about but to actually do it? Terrifying) I am even more grossed out by the notion of sleeping with a woman who I do not have deep feelings for and am not in a long term relationship with.
I am not talking about men who will sleep with anything, I am talking about men who ARE ATTRACTED TO DIFFERENT THINGS. I am not talking about men who will sleep with bald women, I am talking about men who PREFER a woman with a crew cut.
Innitial attraction is, almost always, physical.
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Anyway, as a Chinese woman, if I ever had a sense that a man was initially attracted to me because of my race, then no way would I go out with him. One of the worst pickup lines to use on me would be anything along the lines of "Hey China doll... "
Okay, aside from the fact that pickup lines, in general, are stupid, what would be so bad with someone INNITIALLY being attracted to you because of your race? Granted, if he just wanted to "bang" an Asian woman, then yes, I can understand that, but if that was what he thought was attractive about you and lead him to get to know you better and see your other qualities and personality, what would it matter? What if you were not wearing make-up (not calling you over or under madeup, just an example) and he was attracted to you because he likes women who don't wear makeup? Who cares?
I'm half black, and if a woman was innitially attracted to me because I am half black, I wouldn't care. I would not want someone to want to sleep with me and forget me because I am what they want, but if that's what innitially attracted them to me and it lead to her liking me as a person, than so what?
It isn't "objectifying" to say that a man likes a certain phyisical quality: that is called BEING HUMAN. And stereotyping? where did that come from? Some guys just like the way black/asian/white women look. What's wrong with liking the way someone looks? That is called being a healthy homosapien.
That's just being an ignorant shallow man that I would never ever date in a million years. It's one thing to admire from afar, but if a guy is only going to ask out a woman based on her hot (to him) looks, then that is a man that I don't want in my life.
My boyfriend loves the inner me first, and I feel the same way about him. Many nights before he drifts to sleep, he will tell me how much he loves my mind and the person that I am. He also tells me frequently that I am his best friend. And with a love like that, we won't have any problems living happily ever after together and I will have no need to get botox or plastic surgery later on in order to keep his love.
I realize my attitude is rare but this is the winning relationship formula that works for me. I can admire the way attractive men look from a distance, but when it comes to a man that I will actually consider dating, I value his brains and personality a lot more than his looks. I have never looked for a hot trophy boyfriend to show off to my girlfriends, I just want a guy that pleases me and is my best friend and lover. I find that if the love, affection, like and respect is there, then the making love part is always great. I also find really beautiful people to be very conceited, shallow and not very good friend material.
And I was raised by my parents to value smarts above looks, even for myself. I am one of three daughters and my parents never put any great emphasis on our looks even though we are all above average in that department. Instead, we were encouraged to study hard and develop our other skills and attributes. And I like the way we turned out, especially me!!
I personally don't care about race although I do have preferences.
I can settle for something that isn't a perfect 10, but they at least have to be attractive to me in some way. I'm not picky, so that isn't really a hard thing to achieve.
I also prefer women who are in shape. Overweight women turn me off completely.
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) guys who dig bald women etc etc.
.
Terrifying) I am even more grossed out by the notion of sleeping with a woman who I do not have deep feelings for and am not in a long term relationship with.
