For BW dating non-BM: how do you talk/deal with race/cultural differences (men, gay)

[mekia02]

I have had experiences with white male friends where an incident happened to me and my friend did not believe I should have been even upset about it. He explained to me that if I was called the N word I should not get upset because things are different now and it doesn't always mean racism. This was easily shrugged off b/c 1. he was only a friend 2. I know he is truly a nice guy who just doesn't understand. But this made me think this is exactly my hesitation about interracial dating. If I had been in a relationship with this guy his lack of understanding would have hurt deeply and I would not even know where to begin trying to convince him of the reality.

I know that there are some men of other races that might be socially and racially aware but I think there are many nice guys out there, due to their upbringing and lack of exposure, that are not racially aware.

How do you deal with this lack of awareness without having to become a historian/sociology lecturer?

[BLAZER PROPHET]

Like you said, they're not "aware". I think that gives them a pass with respect to being racist. Perhaps it would be best to explain to them how offensive that word can be and I'm sure they will get the hint.

[MissShona]

Actually I have no problem lecturing whoever about the use of the "N" word.

[Fat Freddy]

Regardless of how hip it may appear within defined boundaries, racism is still racism.

[denverian]

I'm a white male in a 13 year relationship with a black male, and we've never had any issues - and I know he'd let me know if I ever offended him! I can't understand completely what it's like to grow up black, but as a gay man, at least I understand a certain level of prejudice. Maybe that helps us relate.