Gal in love with a married gal (with a son)

[the one]

why go after someone who is attached already.

i dont think you are in love. it is probably an infatuation which was cute to the woman at first, but now that the other shoe has dropped and you are messing with her life it has become too real.

if this woman is truly curious then let her be the one to come to you. i dont understand this twisted, self-hating approach to "loving" someone who dont love you back.

not to be harsh, but let it go. there are plenty of other women that will fullfill your desires and pleasures.

find someone who will reciprocate the strong feelings you have.

[mari4him]

Originally Posted by selinaalwiz

All:

Please help to provide me advise.

I know that I'm a gal and it's not right to fall in love for a married gal but please listen to my story.

I agree with what some other's have said that this has nothing to do with sexuality of the individuals. In my opinion, however, this goes right to the core of morals, values and personal integrity and self-respect.

Originally Posted by selinaalwiz

I'm a gal working in a multinational company and one day this gal came into my company to work. It was love @ 1st sight when I 1st came to know her but during that time I didn't know that she's married and have a son some more as she's younger than me.

Then, when I knew that she's already married, I have tried to avoid her and tried to make her ignorant of me. This has been lasted for almost 1 year but it didn't seems to work.

While it's understandable that at first you did not know she was married, the fact remains that you did find out that she is and have to find a way of making it work in the sense of staying away from her and the thoughts of having anything with her.

Originally Posted by selinaalwiz

One day, I lost controlled and told her that I have feelings for her. To my surprise, she didn't reject me but was very curious on why I have feelings for her and kept calling me up to talk to me @ 1st. So as days goes by, my feelings for her grows much and much stronger each day and she also have some kinda unexplainable feelings towards me which she cannot show it out and which she must built a wall against it.

This shouldn't have happened. Knowing she is married has to make her off limits to you. It has to be a choice you make that you will not be involved with or risk involvement with a married individual.

Originally Posted by selinaalwiz

Then, my mum was very curious on the changes of my attitude and kept questioning me and my frens on why I'm behaving this way and she started to do silly things like going to the married gal's house to disturb her. Until one nite my fren came to help out the situation and my mum got the confirmation of from her that I have feelings towards the married gal.

From that day onwards, my mum started to go crazy saying that I'm a lesbian and I'm doing all this immoral things and will go to the married gal's house or called her up to threaten her. @ the beginning, the married gal still can stand it and still stayed by my side but as this dragged on, she already cannot stand it and she said that she will have to protect herself and her family and asked me to let go.

Your mom may be right in the sense of being upset over the situation, however, she is very wrong in the actions that she is taking. She needs to leave this woman and her family alone.

Originally Posted by selinaalwiz

Another thing is that, the married gal's husband actually need about our situation and he was supportive towards his wife @ the beginning because he knew that I just wanted to pour concerns onto his wife and do nothing more. This is because he's always away from home from Monday till Thursday and come back only from Friday afternoon to Sunday.

The fact that her husband didn't seem to have too big of an issue with it, I won't even go there but lets just say I wonder what motivated his lack of issue with the situation. I know I would take issue with anyone having any kinds of inappropriate feelings or thoughts about my fiance regardless of their gender. It's just not something I'd be non-chalant about.

Originally Posted by selinaalwiz

The thing is how should I rescue this situation where:
1. My mum will be back to normal
2. I can be with the married gal happily

You can't rescue this situation in the sense of either of those two things. You're mom needs to deal with her issues on her own and I doubt that anything you do or say will bring that about. As I said, she is right in being upset over this inappropriate situation. All you can do is bring the situation to an end and then let your mom resolve it for herself.

As for the second part. How exactly do you think you can rescue that. She is married. You don't have a right to be with her and it is not something you should be looking forward to or desiring. If she were single, then that would be up to the two of you. She's not single though and you really need to find a way to seperate yourself from this situation and back off away from her.

Originally Posted by selinaalwiz

Note: I really love her deeply and I don't think I can live without her.

I'm not going to pretend to know what you are feeling, but I would wager on the thought that it is not exactly love that you are feeling for her. She is attached and therefore unavailable to you. You need to find someone that is not attached and is available to you and direct your attentions and affections in that way.

Just my opinion.

[laysayfair]

It wasn't very kind of her to let you stay involved with her when she knew she could not (or would not) reciprocate. You'll get over her by going out and meeting other single women lesbians. Do stuff and get involved in other activities after work with other people. Keep yourself busy and social. In the future have too much personal integrity to go after someone who is married or otherwise unavailable. Have too much honor to even think about being part of breaking up some little kids family.

[girleylips]

This just showed me what type of character you have. i am pretty sure you are a nice person but seriously...what were you thinking...you made a chioce in life...now you live with the consequences. You chose to give your heart away to the wrong person...."married" person. Where are your morals? And she has a family. i am not saying what she did was right but seriously if you really loved her, you would let her go... that's what's best for her....

and by all means, i am not condeming you for being a lesbian....more power to you....but try to choose single lesbians ...it might work out for you good luck