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Old 06-06-2008, 08:13 AM
 
3,490 posts, read 5,047,760 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NWPAguy View Post


Absolutely! Think about it this way... if you only ever have sex with one person, that person is always going to be the best sexual partner you've ever had and you'll never know any different..

Or you will always be wondering what you are missing.

The fact that most males and females can physically achieve sex has nothing to do with sexual compatibility and is something which betrays your inexperience on this subject.
The big 'O' is an important part of sex (for many people). Not every couple can achieve this together and while I hope that you and your wife are good in this department, if not then you can guarantee that at some point she will be wondering if someone else could have got her there.

My cousin and her DH have no money worries, she has a successful business herself, etc. He works too much which is hard, but isn't the end of the world. She just wonders what she missed and knows that she will never know without drastic steps which she doesn't want to take. It's a shame.
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Old 06-06-2008, 08:17 AM
 
Location: Pleasant Shade Tn
2,215 posts, read 3,659,016 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen View Post
Or you will always be wondering what you are missing.

The fact that most males and females can physically achieve sex has nothing to do with sexual compatibility and is something which betrays your inexperience on this subject.
The big 'O' is an important part of sex (for many people). Not every couple can achieve this together and while I hope that you and your wife are good in this department, if not then you can guarantee that at some point she will be wondering if someone else could have got her there.

My cousin and her DH have no money worries, she has a successful business herself, etc. He works too much which is hard, but isn't the end of the world. She just wonders what she missed and knows that she will never know without drastic steps which she doesn't want to take. It's a shame.
How do you know that he will? I personally have NEVER wondered what I was missing. My sex life is my business, certainly, but I'll be the first to say that it is very active, very fulfilling, and never never dull. I have three children and sex during pregnancy is unbelievable...if I had 'multiple' partners, I would be missing out on that since I'd have to be using birth control of the worst kind...condoms.
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Old 06-06-2008, 08:20 AM
 
2,633 posts, read 3,190,237 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Freddy View Post
Being gang raped in the Philippines should count for something, but you will have to deduct points for being gang raped again in your own house.
I think I should gain points for the house since at that time it wasn't my friend's 50 cousins but rather with what now is my first ex.
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Old 06-06-2008, 08:31 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alicenavada View Post
My sex life is my business, certainly, but I'll be the first to say that it is very active, very fulfilling, and never never dull. I have three children and sex during pregnancy is unbelievable...if I had 'multiple' partners, I would be missing out on that since I'd have to be using birth control of the worst kind...condoms.
Well good - I'm happy for you! But this isn't only about you and your situation. This about the judgement being heaped by NWPA on people who engage in premarital sex.
I simply say that waiting for marriage is not a magic cure all. In fact it has issues of its own. No answer is the 'right' answer despite what NWPA choses to believe.
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Old 06-06-2008, 08:56 AM
 
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Hoboken, you're apparently misunderstanding what I'm saying... on top of how you must not read all of my posts in their entirety. I will grant that I am often very verbose... mainly because I usually have a lot to say. For starters, I don't judge PEOPLE who engage in premarital sex. I judge THE ACTION of premarital sex. I don't think I've ever said nor thought that someone who had sex outside of a marital relationship was a bad person because of it. Love the sinner, hate the sin.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen View Post
Or you will always be wondering what you are missing.
Anyone who wonders this did not marry the right person.

I never wonder what I'm missing, even though it may be true that some people who have been having sex regularly for the last ten years may be more well-versed on how to turn on and satisfy the average adult man than my wife. However... my wife knows more than any other woman about how to satisfy ME... and as the years roll on, the sex will only get better. I am still learning about what I like... and I think it's super-cool to be able to tell my wife "What you just did... do it again next time!". Not to mention, it's easy too... much easier than trying to explain in graphic detail exactly what I want based upon what someone else once did to me. Let's face it... such explanations, if I weren't a virgin at marriage and could've given them, would've led my wife to believe that as I was explaining what I wanted her to do, I was envisioning that time in my past when [some other woman] and I were having sex. Why should she feel good about me effectively cheating on her with my mind, hearkening back to the "good ol' days" when some other woman was able to satisfy me in a way that my wife still had yet to learn?

I never wonder what I'm missing. I look around and see other women every day... I KNOW what I am missing. No amount of great sex could ever make up for a crappy relationship in other ways. Heaven knows, in my past, no amount of "making out" ever made up for a relationship that was lacking in its important fundamentals.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen View Post
The fact that most males and females can physically achieve sex has nothing to do with sexual compatibility and is something which betrays your inexperience on this subject.
You think so... but you're wrong. In my opinion, everyone talks about sexual compatibility and the beautiful thing about human males and females is that they are naturally sexually compatible in a purely physical sense. To make complete sexual compatibility, you need relational compatibility and the desire to make it work. If you have those two, you're golden.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen View Post
The big 'O' is an important part of sex (for many people). Not every couple can achieve this together and while I hope that you and your wife are good in this department, if not then you can guarantee that at some point she will be wondering if someone else could have got her there.
Do the words "multiple", "many", and "often" mean anything to ya? All it takes is a listening ear, an open mind, and the willingness factor.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen View Post
My cousin and her DH have no money worries, she has a successful business herself, etc. He works too much which is hard, but isn't the end of the world. She just wonders what she missed and knows that she will never know without drastic steps which she doesn't want to take. It's a shame.
How do you suppose he would feel if he knew about this? The male ego is more fragile than most women believe it to be. Again... and this is not judging PEOPLE... this aforementioned "problem" would not be a problem if people had it in their heads that premarital sex is wrong and that upholding and supporting a marriage is right.

Again I ask... if premarital sex is so great and abstinence is not... why is it that premarital sex carries a laundry list of risks and detriments whereas abstinence carries only one ("missing out on what might be some fun")?
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Old 06-06-2008, 09:00 AM
 
3,490 posts, read 5,047,760 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NWPAguy View Post
Hoboken, you're apparently misunderstanding what I'm saying... on top of how you must not read all of my posts in their entirety. I will grant that I am often very verbose... mainly because I usually have a lot to say. For starters, I don't judge PEOPLE who engage in premarital sex. I judge THE ACTION of premarital sex. I don't think I've ever said nor thought that someone who had sex outside of a marital relationship was a bad person because of it. Love the sinner, hate the sin.

I don't consider consentual premarital sex to be a sin.
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Old 06-06-2008, 09:03 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NWPAguy View Post
Paramour, there is much more to it. (By the way, when it comes to "my religion", what if "my religion" is right? If I believe the earth is roughly spherical and you believe it is flat, well, we all know what is right. That doesn't make it "my opinion" or "my theory" or whatever... that makes it "right". You don't have to follow "my religion" if you don't think it is "right". Everything will be sorted out in the afterlife and then we'll see who was right.)

.
But what if what you are saying is that the earth is flat and I am saying that it is round? Well, we all know what is right.
One of us may have got it wrong. But which of us is it? Who knows. So perhaps just assuming that I am right and that you are wrong, is a bit arrogant and should be re-thought out.
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Old 06-06-2008, 09:16 AM
 
681 posts, read 1,750,362 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen View Post
I don't consider consentual premarital sex to be a sin.
I'll bet my eternity on my standpoint, and surely you'll do the same. If you want to keep everything even, all that will happen is that we'll eventually see who is right when it all gets sorted out in the afterlife.

HOWEVER...

My standpoint is rooted in The Holy Bible... probably the oldest, most well-respected, best-selling, and most significant book ever to be written. Can you say the same thing about the books which back your standpoint?

My standpoint was held by the overwhelmingly vast majority of people for thousands of years. Yours is aligned with a more modern and permissive philosophy of living which has only come into popular acceptance within the last 40-50 years.

My standpoint is echoed by adherents of most of the world's major religions... not just Christianity. I determined that at least 70% of the world's population, according to the statistics, claims adherence to some religious and/or moral dogma which states that sex outside of a committed marriage is wrong.

Now... if you were a contestant on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and you used two lifelines for a question whose answer you had no idea about... one to narrow the question from 4 choices to 2, and then one to poll the audience... and the audience voted 70% to 30% in favor of answer A... would you pick answer B?

You'll go on believing that your standpoint is the right one, and here in America you have the right to do so. I'd fight to the death for your right to have your own opinion. I just won't gamble with my eternity by going against something which not only do I believe is "right" and "logical", but which has thousands of years of history and billions of people who adhere to different religions from mine backing it up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen View Post
But what if what you are saying is that the earth is flat and I am saying that it is round? Well, we all know what is right.
One of us may have got it wrong. But which of us is it? Who knows. So perhaps just assuming that I am right and that you are wrong, is a bit arrogant and should be re-thought out.
I've thought it out for years. Again... we don't even have to talk about religion. I've been against premarital sex since my middle school years (when I first realized it happened) and I didn't become a Christian until age 19. The facts back me up. Married couples who don't have sex outside of marriage do not spread STDs around... uncommitted people who have multiple sex partners do. Married couples never have "unwanted" pregnancies... uncommitted sexual partners do. If a couple gets married and immediately decides they don't want kids, a simple outpatient surgical procedure can see to it that they never will. Married couples may have "unexpected" pregnancies... but never "unwanted" pregnancies. It goes on and on.

If I'm so wrong, seriously... why is it that the logic, the facts, the history, and most of the world's population would say I'm right? Your standpoint isn't backed by anywhere near as much of that as mine is... that makes it difficult for me (or an impartial outside observer) to think that yours could be stronger.
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Old 06-06-2008, 09:19 AM
 
3,490 posts, read 5,047,760 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NWPAguy View Post
I'll bet my eternity on my standpoint, and surely you'll do the same. If you want to keep everything even, all that will happen is that we'll eventually see who is right when it all gets sorted out in the afterlife.

.
No I absoultely would not. I am not an 'all knowing' godlike person. I make judgement calls, but have no way of absoultely knowing anything without a shadow of a doubt.
Neither do you, but I have the humility to admit it, and you don't.
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Old 06-06-2008, 09:26 AM
 
681 posts, read 1,750,362 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen View Post
No I absoultely would not. I am not an 'all knowing' godlike person. I make judgement calls, but have no way of absoultely knowing anything without a shadow of a doubt.
Neither do you, but I have the humility to admit it, and you don't.
Oh, I'll be the first to admit that I don't know everything. That's why I have to seek knowledge. Life would be so boring without there being a quest for knowledge.

When I say that we bet our eternities on our standpoints and how we choose to live, I am actually saying this... I believe that there is a heaven and a hell... and if you "follow the rules" to the best of your ability, you go to heaven and if you don't, you go to hell. I know little about heaven and hell... but to me it's enough to simplify it and say "heaven is the good place" and "hell is the bad place". Some people don't believe that there is a "hell" for people who consciously, consistently, and unapologetically do what is wrong. We won't know this until we die. However, I figure I'll have 100 years on this planet... eternity is a lot longer. I'd rather do what appears to be "right" for those 100 years, even if I miss out on some fun I could've had and I get raked across the coals for my views, rather than be hedonistic for those 100 years and then suffer for it eternally in the afterlife.

If you don't believe that, that's cool. America is a country which allows freedom of religion, freedom of philosophy, freedom of worldview, whatever you want to call it. You asked what if YOU are right and I am wrong. I said... we'll find out.
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