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06-05-2008, 10:36 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Apr 2008
4,889 posts, read 2,343,234 times
Reputation: 1895
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Dr. Seuss on Relationships
Dr. Seuss On Relationships
Dr. Seuss recently was a guest on this forum and asked me to post his thoughts here - enjoy!
Oh, woe is me!
My wife's cheating on me!
Did I marry the woman I love -
Seriously?
The qualities I adored
About my SO -
I'd like to understand this
Before I can go.
I'll move forward back to
Where I should be.
Can it work if the woman
Makes more $$$ than me?
My horrible mother-in-law
Wants to visit-
She'll say "Do you need a man?
Love advice? Well, which IS it?"
I'll ask "What do ladies
Find attractive in men?
A wink from a woman
Means "NOW"? Or just "WHEN"?
She'll answer
"I have questions for you guys and gals -
Do men enjoy being single
Compared to gals?"
I'll yell "First time! Fat men!"
And rush down the stair
Is it cheating to get a lap dance?
Do YOU care?
Would you dress in your best
And arrive at the steeple
If you don't want kids
And it's hard to meet people?
Ladies, answer this!
Though it might make you ill:
Just what should I NOT do
When I write my will?
Are they just a rip-off,
Those online date sites?
Are prostitutes escorts?
And what of their rights?
And how do you feel
About giving some gifts?
If men are too short
Should they be wearing lifts?
And finally, one more
question for my mission:
What ABOUT that stupid
Engagement ring tradition?
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06-05-2008, 10:41 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
17,378 posts, read 11,710,835 times
Reputation: 5345
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil
Dr. Seuss On Relationships
Dr. Seuss recently was a guest on this forum and asked me to post his thoughts here - enjoy!
Oh, woe is me!
My wife's cheating on me!
Did I marry the woman I love -
Seriously?
The qualities I adored
About my SO -
I'd like to understand this
Before I can go.
I'll move forward back to
Where I should be.
Can it work if the woman
Makes more $$$ than me?
My horrible mother-in-law
Wants to visit-
She'll say "Do you need a man?
Love advice? Well, which IS it?"
I'll ask "What do ladies
Find attractive in men?
A wink from a woman
Means "NOW"? Or just "WHEN"?
She'll answer
"I have questions for you guys and gals -
Do men enjoy being single
Compared to gals?"
I'll yell "First time! Fat men!"
And rush down the stair
Is it cheating to get a lap dance?
Do YOU care?
Would you dress in your best
And arrive at the steeple
If you don't want kids
And it's hard to meet people?
Ladies, answer this!
Though it might make you ill:
Just what should I NOT do
When I write my will?
Are they just a rip-off,
Those online date sites?
Are prostitutes escorts?
And what of their rights?
And how do you feel
About giving some gifts?
If men are too short
Should they be wearing lifts?
And finally, one more
question for my mission:
What ABOUT that stupid
Engagement ring tradition?
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - AWESOME!! Rep points big time!!
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06-05-2008, 10:41 AM
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Stranger than fiction
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the state of denial
5,135 posts, read 1,814,683 times
Reputation: 1816
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Now we just need someone to set that to music and put it on a country station  |
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06-05-2008, 10:45 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Austin, TX
1,174 posts, read 840,700 times
Reputation: 305
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Haha!! Awesome!
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06-05-2008, 10:47 AM
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1st Amendment, RIP!
Status:
"I'll be back; or not..."
(set 14 hours ago)
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Tucson
20,564 posts, read 11,860,314 times
Reputation: 6776
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil
Dr. Seuss On Relationships
Dr. Seuss recently was a guest on this forum and asked me to post his thoughts here - enjoy!
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I'm not as talented when it comes to poems, but I found a fun one to contribute with:
The Lousy Rotten Bastard!
Copyright; Jacqueline Hilary Bridle
From her book 'Just Wait Till I Grow Up!'
Chorus
You lousy rotten bastard,
You hate-full hairy git,
You've gone and done a job on me,
And you don't give a ****!
You flirt with all my girlfriends,
And then you fart in bed.
Your manners are disgusting,
I could kick you in the head.
The children have been talking,
And they think you're quite mad
I don't hide the truth from them,
I tell them your plain bad.
Chorus...
You promised love and roses,
You promised me the best.
And now you've shown your true colours,
By ****ting in our nest.
Well now things are changing,
I have finally seen the light.
I'm leaving with the Milkman,
You' re such an ugly sight.
You're a lousy rotten bastard,
A hateful hairy git.
I've gone and done a job on you,
and I don't give a ****.
Funny Poems and Funny Poetry - Apoem
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06-05-2008, 10:54 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Apr 2008
4,889 posts, read 2,343,234 times
Reputation: 1895
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ
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Whew - talk about fire and brimstone! |
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06-05-2008, 11:30 AM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SE New Mexico
384 posts, read 140,266 times
Reputation: 931
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SifuPhil: Absolutely too funny! |
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06-05-2008, 11:35 AM
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When You Say Wisconsin, You Said It All
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Wishing It Was Wisconsin
521 posts, read 329,110 times
Reputation: 800
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SifuPhil...Fanfreakintastic! 
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06-05-2008, 02:04 PM
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East Meets West
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: San Gabriel Valley, CA
5,221 posts, read 3,434,138 times
Reputation: 1964
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OMG. I am DYIN'.
Phil, you are wasting your talent...you should be a paid writer.
Still laughing...
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06-05-2008, 04:04 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Dec 2006
3,310 posts, read 2,873,597 times
Reputation: 1620
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that was really good!
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