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i don't know about that. Men are very sexual and sometimes crave attention especially from other women.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rcm58
If you want her gone, laugh about her, your a confident women which I'm sure is what he sees in you amongst other things. No guy is going to chase a women their girlfriend finds inferior.
Honey, put an end to it now........nothing good can come of this. I'm wonedering does this girl have a boyfriend?, something tells me, she is interested in much more than friends, no, no, no!!!!!! Find a way, do whatever it takes to have her stop texting him, she has no business doing so.
I was in a similar situation in the past, my SO had an ex that from day one he had told me about her and told me that she was one of his best friends and that she would be a part of his life forever........well i was kool with it, hey he was being honest with me and i trusted him.........well, guess what 4yrs into my relationship, we had gotten into a fight and didnt speak for several weeks, so guess what happened? Yeap, this so called just friend, moved right in and sure enough, cheated on me with this f****b****, sorry, but no no no.
If you are in a commited relationship, that's a bunch of bs having friends of the opposite sex, been there done that, nope not going to happen to me again. If my man feels he needs to have female friends whether their ex's or co-wokers or whatever, nope sorry, it's either me or your them. I was extremely nieve and trusted and believed that nothing would ever happen, boy was i ever blindsided.
Helllllll no. Look your man may vary well have no interest in this chick whatsoever, but i guarantee you she has interest in him, if no she would not be texting him, period, and she knows about you and stuff, trust me, she is the kind that will hang around and wait, and at the first momment you and your man have some kind of fight or something stupid like that, she'll will be more than happy to lend a sympathic ear......yeah, right.
I've lurked here a few times, so I finally came across something in my relationship that I'm not sure about. I've been dating this guy seriously for about a month. We've had a platonic relationship for about 6 months previously. I'm totally in love with this guy. I actually knew it from the time I met him six months ago, but I just knew it wasn't right. Come to find out he felt the same way about me, and we've been inseparable as a couple for this past month. He gets me as a person and I get him. It's like being with him makes me feel every relationship previously was "fake" love. So, here's my dilemma....he is in school to become a therapist, so he has quite a few girls that are his friends that go to him for every problem they encounter and they tend to be significantly younger. By all means I'm not offended by this, because I'm in the medical profession as well and I know he has boundaries and would never cross them. But there is this one girl, who had told me about when we first met, and I would make comments about how the girl was madly in love with him, but he said that it wasn't the case. Finally, he sees my point of view after he told the girl that we were dating seriously and she got extremely upset. Now I find the girl texting and calling him more. This morning at the crack of dawn this girl is texting him after we just made love and he responds to her instantly. I'm not the jealous type, but this girl is getting to me. It's the fact that she is purposely trying to cause a rift when there is no rift to be drawn. We are both happy. He says he doesn't want to hurt her because he cares for her as friends, but yet I know if I had a guy texting me all day about anything he would be just as offended. I've tried telling him how it bothers me, but he just assures me there is nothing to worry about. I know there is nothing to worry about, but it still gets to me that she does it. How do I control these feelings? How do I not let something so little not make me want to back out? I'm finally in a good relationship and I just want it work. I don't' want to have to find anyone else, because I just know that this is the person I'm meant for. I'm sorry this is soo long, but if someone could just give me a few pointers, I would really appreciate it.
It sounds like he is having two relationships. One is with you and one is with the "texter". Not physically cheating perhaps, but definitely "involved" with her on some level.
If he feels he has to answer her text right after the two of you have finished making love then he is "invoved" with her. Maybe, he doesn't realize the extent of it himself...
Honey, put an end to it now........nothing good can come of this. I'm wonedering does this girl have a boyfriend?, something tells me, she is interested in much more than friends, no, no, no!!!!!! Find a way, do whatever it takes to have her stop texting him, she has no business doing so.
I was in a similar situation in the past, my SO had an ex that from day one he had told me about her and told me that she was one of his best friends and that she would be a part of his life forever........well i was kool with it, hey he was being honest with me and i trusted him.........well, guess what 4yrs into my relationship, we had gotten into a fight and didnt speak for several weeks, so guess what happened? Yeap, this so called just friend, moved right in and sure enough, cheated on me with this f****b****, sorry, but no no no.
If you are in a commited relationship, that's a bunch of bs having friends of the opposite sex, been there done that, nope not going to happen to me again. If my man feels he needs to have female friends whether their ex's or co-wokers or whatever, nope sorry, it's either me or your them. I was extremely nieve and trusted and believed that nothing would ever happen, boy was i ever blindsided.
Helllllll no. Look your man may vary well have no interest in this chick whatsoever, but i guarantee you she has interest in him, if no she would not be texting him, period, and she knows about you and stuff, trust me, she is the kind that will hang around and wait, and at the first momment you and your man have some kind of fight or something stupid like that, she'll will be more than happy to lend a sympathic ear......yeah, right.
Oh how i know you're right to some extent. That's my greatest fear.
he probably relates very well to her and that is a problem.
People that get into the therapy field are searching for people they can relate too. They forget about and disconnect from people that are a bit different....been in those situations before, very painful and odd.
Quote:
Originally Posted by laysayfair
It sounds like he is having two relationships. One is with you and one is with the "texter". Not physically cheating perhaps, but definitely "involved" with her on some level.
If he feels he has to answer her text right after the two of you have finished making love then he is "invoved" with her. Maybe, he doesn't realize the extent of it himself...
he probably relates very well to her and that is a problem.
People that get into the therapy field are searching for people they can relate too. They forget about and disconnect from people that are a bit different....been in those situations before, very painful and odd.
Very good point. I hadn't thought of that. I think some may be "rescuers" as well.
I tell you what, if I had been dating someone seriously a month and she tried to sabotage my relationship with someone I was trying to help in my chosen field of interest because she had issues, that would be the end of that relationship, especially after I told her she had nothing to worry about.
Oh how i know you're right to some extent. That's my greatest fear.
This place that you're in, sucks really bad, i know......on the one hand you don't want to say anything, because, well you're just being an overeactive and there's nothing to worry about and all that bs.
When this happened to me, not only was i blindsided and didn't see it coming but the heartache that i went thru was horrific, i felt like my whole world had just ended, i loved this man so much, like no one before and couldn't believe he did this, he truly broke my heart in every sense of the word. I have vowed to myself, never again will i allow any man that i'm commited to have female friends, never. Because of this, i have a huge problem with trust issues, and it sucks, because i was never like that.
Find a way to talk to your bf, withought attacking him, cus men hate that, but you gota find a way to talk to him withought coming accross as a nagging, jealous woman. It's not right and not good for your relationship, you should always be able to feel secure in your relationship and when you don't feel that security.......well, you end up like me, trying to get passed it every day of my life.
Very good point. I hadn't thought of that. I think some may be "rescuers" as well.
Yep, her BF is the rescuer, and the girl (that's constantly contacting her BF) is the DAMSEL IN DISTRESS.
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