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LOL! I'm holding out my hands in a cross at the mention of the chain and ball.
I'll be vain and make a poem about myself before I call it a night. Yes, it's horrible, but that's midnight poetry for you.
Beowulf stalks his prey at night.
Those women, they run, full of fright.
As he approaches, he stares them down.
Unaware that he looks like a clown.
Hey, it's not horrible, but quit telling yourself women run away from ya 'cause it might turn into self-fulfilling prophecy... unless that's what you're hoping for...
Hey, it's not horrible, but quit telling yourself women run away from ya 'cause it might turn into self-fulfilling prophecy... unless that's what you're hoping for...
Sometimes, if you say one thing, then the opposite will happen. Then I'd be in luck!
Is it like Fran Drescher's? Running for the earplugs.
LOL!!!!!
Oh my gawd.
I'm actually just kidding around...I don't have a very heavy accent at all. I never did, which everyone (back in NJ) always thought was weird. But I do say several things that would have you running for an ice pick to stick in your ears. For example, "cawfee" and "chawklit" and the inner compulsion to reply "Oh my god!" to anything more than two degrees out of the ordinary.
No woman I know gets mad if somebody tries to make her happy.
....only every woman I've ever been involved with.
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I'm holding out my hands in a cross at the mention of the chain and ball. 
