Dr. Seuss Gives Up Women (wife, married, husband, friends)

[SifuPhil]

Dr. Seuss Gives Up Women

The day was wet as fishes
As the news came to his eyes
He'd lost all of his wishes
'Neath the dark and cloudy skies

He'd once had hopes of being just
Like every other guy
But when his Hope Balloon went bust
He sat down and he cried

“Oh WHY should I bother to TRY?”
He screamed out to the trees
It echoed down the valley
As he fell down to his knees

“I TRY to make them happy
And I TRY to make them glad
But every time I TRY to TRY
They end up being mad!

They're mad at me for little things
And bigger things as well
They're mad when I offer them rings
Or tell them “Go to Hell!”

If I go left, they're leaning right
If I go up, they're down
When they get all too serious
I'm usually the clown

Enough's enough! I'll be real tough!
I don't need any gal!
Of course it might get kind of rough
When I just need a pal

Oh, heck, I'll get some goldfish
At least they have a short life
Just like if I would get my wish
Along with a new wife

For then I'd be in trouble deep
My life no longer mine
She'd be awake when I'm asleep
And then she'd mutter, “Fine!”

I know that word from women past
It means only one thing:
As baritone I've sung my last;
Soprano now I'll sing

So maybe this is all for good
This tearing of my heart;
This path of loneliness I walk,
This soul that's torn apart

I now have time to swallow
And have time for everything
In fact, I think I'll wallow
In the mud, and then I'll sing!

One thing's for sure, I have the cure-
No longer will I seek
The female of the species-
Well, at least until next week!

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by SifuPhil

“I TRY to make them happy
And I TRY to make them glad
But every time I TRY to TRY
They end up being mad!

No woman I know gets mad if somebody tries to make her happy.

[fjtee]

Oh, I do! Curses to anyone who tries to make me happy. Curses!!! You know, now that I think about it, my husband probably thinks that's true. I better go do something nice for him now. Happy Father's Day to all of you dads out there.

[SifuPhil]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

No woman I know gets mad if somebody tries to make her happy.

Evidently Dr. Seuss feels otherwise.

[JerZ]

Bwah ha ha! I wish we had a writers' forum on here.

Okay, let me see what I can do about a "woman's POV" rebuttal.............

MRS. SEUSS' REBUTTAL
(to the meter of Happy Birthday to You)

I wish I could do
What guys do on the 'net.
They find what they can...
And they get what they get.

On the 'net, every morn
At the butt-crack of day,
All the dudes out in c-space
Type "heya!" and "hey!"
And "How do you do, dear,
I'm hot and not gay!"*

And the girls, they expect,
Will come flocking their way.

For we girls are so desperate,
We girls are so fat,
We have warts, we're small-chested,
We'll take any rat.

So WAKE UP, all you dudes
With your fingers a-flurry!
The girlies all want you,
Get down to it...hurry!

Oh, it's true, you may find
That the girl you reel in
Has fourteen baby-dads
Or a quadruple chin.

But with hope, yet you try
O'er again every day
For that long-lasting friendship
Or short-winded l*y.

For if not, you might miss out
On someone not truly
As she had described, but
Hey, neither are you-ly.

Fin




(*Sorry, arguy.)

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by SifuPhil

Evidently Dr. Seuss feels otherwise.

I'd say Dr. Seuss most likely has no idea what trying is at all.

[Ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

I'd say Dr. Seuss most likely has no idea what trying is at all.

Haven't you ever read "Green Eggs and Ham"?

Theodore was happily married so I'd say he tried...and succeeded.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by Ivorytickler

Haven't you ever read "Green Eggs and Ham"?

Afraid not. I didn't grow up here and Dr. Seuss hasn't caught my attention as an adult.

Theodore was happily married so I'd say he tried...and succeeded.

Hey, those who try succeed; those who wait for something to come out of the blue without any effort at all don't. I'm just talking in general terms obviously without any knowledge of the good ol' Dr. Seuss.

[beowulf7]

LOL, I wonder who wrote that.

BTW, the plural of "fish" is "fish", not "fishes".

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by beowulf7

LOL, I wonder who wrote that.

BTW, the plural of "fish" is "fish", not "fishes".

That's poetry, wolfie, and it has to rhyme! Don't be a nitpicker!