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I'm actually Baptist but I married into a Catholic family. Baptists aren't terribly keen on divorce either, but nothing like Catholics. I have an uncle who left the Catholic church because his parish would not allow him to re-marry. I'm sorry, but I have a difficult time believing that the Catholic church taught you that divorce is ok.
No offense Jim, but this is a typical misunderstanding on the part of our Protestant brothers and sisters. I did not say the church teaches that divorce is "okay" - I was responding to what you posted. Someone else said,
"I just don't understand why someone would think God would want them to stay in a bad relationship; that is not my belief."
And you said, "well, He does if you're Catholic."
And THAT is what is not true. (The God of Baptists is the God of Catholics, by the way )
The Catholic Church actually accepts the same circumstances for divorce that all other Christain churches do - abuse being #1. NO ONE in the Catholic authority would tell you today that you have to stay married to an abusive spouse, or a spouse that has committed adultry for that matter.
Divorce IS permitted and people are no longer turned away from communion because of it.
For me personally life has always been simple. To me, if you are in a relationship that is either not good for you, unhappy, irreconcilable, etc.. then you leave it. I never would condone that anyone stay in a relationship if they are not completely happy and have not tried all avenues to be happy (i.e., counseling, etc). If you're not happy, you leave. If you have kids and you think you are doing the kids a favor by staying you're not.
Kids see and know everything even when you think they don't. Better in my opinion to have two happy homes than one unhappy home.
If you are staying because financially you can't afford to leave, that isn't a reason either. Find a way.
If you are staying because you are concerned over what friends and family will say - who cares,it's your life.
Just my honest humble opinion.
Great post and to add to this-You cannot not let anyone drain your happiness. Happiness is achieved independently, and if a significant other is around they can only add to it. You cannot depend on someone else to make you happy.
No offense Jim, but this is a typical misunderstanding on the part of our Protestant brothers and sisters. I did not say the church teaches that divorce is "okay" - I was responding to what you posted. Someone else said,
"I just don't understand why someone would think God would want them to stay in a bad relationship; that is not my belief."
And you said, "well, He does if you're Catholic."
And THAT is what is not true. (The God of Baptists is the God of Catholics, by the way )
The Catholic Church actually accepts the same circumstances for divorce that all other Christain churches do - abuse being #1. NO ONE in the Catholic authority would tell you today that you have to stay married to an abusive spouse, or a spouse that has committed adultry for that matter.
Divorce IS permitted and people are no longer turned away from communion because of it.
But are you allowed to remarry? 14 years ago when I was married, the church did not permit divorced people get married by a priest.
But are you allowed to remarry? 14 years ago when I was married, the church did not permit divorced people get married by a priest.
My mom couldn't remarry either. In fact, it's actually her remarriage that the Catholic church said damned her to hell. The divorce was never recognized by the church.
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Originally Posted by lovesMountains
No offense Jim, but this is a typical misunderstanding on the part of our Protestant brothers and sisters. I did not say the church teaches that divorce is "okay" - I was responding to what you posted. Someone else said,
"I just don't understand why someone would think God would want them to stay in a bad relationship; that is not my belief."
And you said, "well, He does if you're Catholic."
And THAT is what is not true. (The God of Baptists is the God of Catholics, by the way )
The Catholic Church actually accepts the same circumstances for divorce that all other Christain churches do - abuse being #1. NO ONE in the Catholic authority would tell you today that you have to stay married to an abusive spouse, or a spouse that has committed adultry for that matter.
Divorce IS permitted and people are no longer turned away from communion because of it.
You're right, I did misunderstand your intention.
And I well understand that the God of Baptists and Catholics are one and the same. The human infrastructure is what is different, which is the irony I was trying to express with the post referenced hereinabove.
I'm going to throw something out, tell me the first thing that jumps into your head...
"Catholics believe that forgiveness is a divine virtue, so they do not practice it." -Garrison Keillor
And I well understand that the God of Baptists and Catholics are one and the same. The human infrastructure is what is different, which is the irony I was trying to express with the post referenced hereinabove.
I'm going to throw something out, tell me the first thing that jumps into your head...
"Catholics believe that forgiveness is a divine virtue, so they do not practice it." -Garrison Keillor
The Lords Prayer
.........................................
Father forgive us, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
I would stop warning him. That's only egging him on. I would live my life as I believe I should and let him coexist however he wants (so long as he's not abusive). You can't make him do anything. All you can do is what you're supposed to do.
I'm not sure of your interpretation of the scriptures where wives of unbelieving husbands are discussed, but I get the impression we're supposed to model our faith not preach at him and tell him he's wrong. I don't think men respond well to that. If anything that will provoke him.
Yours is a tough row to hoe. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Is there any possibility he's bi-polar? My father was and I remember him going off on rages. Didn't have much use for God either. But they usually try to self medicate so I'd be surprised if he is given he doesn't drink.
I only warn him when he's cursing Jesus to my face I try to keep the peace, but if I watched every little thing I did or said it still wouldn't be enough. When he wants to get angry - he will find something/anything as an excuse.
He's not bi-polar - he's just crazy. God give me Grace.
I only warn him when he's cursing Jesus to my face I try to keep the peace, but if I watched every little thing I did or said it still wouldn't be enough. When he wants to get angry - he will find something/anything as an excuse.
He's not bi-polar - he's just crazy. God give me Grace.
Just remember that nothing YOU do will change anything. So walk your walk.
My husband was like that when drinking. Didn't matter what I did, he'd find something to get angry about. Odds have it, what he's venting about isn't what he's really angry about. And I'd lay good odds his venting to/about Jesus is just to egg you on and give him another excuse to be angry with you.
If I were you, I'd try my darndest to give him absolutely no reason to ever be angry with me. It'll drive him nuts.
I wouldn't correct him at all and if he has anything negative to say, thank him for the constructive criticism.
All you can do is live your life your way and try not to step on his toes. No sense arguing with a crazy person. Just makes you look crazy too.
I agree, only thing is if he starts nagging the children unfairly - I defend them and he goes nuts because he says it is his job to discipline the kids!! No problem with fair discipline just he goes over the top - not physically - but nagging and I have no choice but to step in. My daughter is 13 and he can go on and on at ther sometimes!! My son is smart enough to suss him out and quick enough to keep him happy. But my daughter is a day dreamer and this winds up her dad.
I'll be honest here, I knew if I left my kids when they were young that I would have to let them go with their dad for long weekends and holidays etc. I didn't want him taking them off God knows where.....so I put up with him - I wanted the kids with me ALL the time.
Now, they are older, the daughter does not respect her Dad - that winds him up. My son, plays sport with his dad and mostly they get on ok. But my hubby getting at my daughter draws me in to arguing with him.
Other times, I might just ignore him or say "OK" and he won't be happy with that, he wants you to stop being "SARKY", he'll just go on goading you or nagging the kids to drag you into a row. He loves arguing!!!
Many, many times I have been on the verge of leaving but then his nice side came back - not that I was fooled, just that I thourght "OK, we'll carry on FOR NOW" How much longer I don't know. When the kids are grown up, if he's still alive and kicking mad, I will probably just wait till a row errupts and walk out, never to return. God knows I have my lilmits.
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I try to keep the peace, but if I watched every little thing I did or said it still wouldn't be enough. When he wants to get angry - he will find something/anything as an excuse. 
