News, What's Behind the Trend of Women Dating Younger Men? (boyfriend, girlfriend)

[John1960]

There appears to be a trend of older women dating younger men, notably illustrated by celebrity couples including Demi Moore and Aston Kutcher, Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry, and the most recent fling between 48-year-old Linda Hogan and 19-year-old Charlie Hill. According to a study of 50,000 women daters over 30, conducted by an online dating site in 2007, more than one-third of the subjects showed interest in men at least 5 years younger.

What's Behind the Trend of Women Dating Younger Men? -- Yahoo! Personals

[girlintheglass]

I have had a few great relationships with men who are much younger than I am and have found it to great in some areas and not so great in others... I am happy to see that it is being looked at. It wasn't too long ago that being same-sex oriented was unacceptable. Men have been gong after younger women for ever, why shouldn't we be able to do the same thing if we are so inclined?
The pros for me are that a younger man won't attempt to control me, they aren't socialized into the "father knows best" role. The people that I have been with really like women, respected me and even supported and admired me. Next, the sex was great, for the same reasons, equality, they have been raised differently.
The cons for me are that I felt older with them, not younger, and was really afraid of what society thought, in fact, I left two relationships where I really cared for the guys, and they me, because I was so afraid! I won't make that mistake again if I ever get a chance to love that way again, I will cherish it. Thanks for the thread.

[andreaspercheron]

I'm engaged to a man 7 years my junior. There has to be a balance. He's very mature for his age, and I think that when you go too young that you lose any chance of having anything other than on a superficial level in common.

If you go not more than 10 years younger, I think you have the better chance of finding someone whom you can still relate too but is also fun because they are younger.

My fiance and I always joke that if "you don't behave, I'm going to trade you in on a younger model", we always have a good time and I probably have more in common with him than I ever did dating within my age range.

This isn't a new trend either, this older women dating younger men thing has been going on for quite a few years.

[TKramar]

I find that "older women" are more mature...even more mature than some women in their early thirties. My current girlfriend has NO problem with traditional gender roles.

[Ivorytickler]

I think women are just less dependent today so there's not as much attraction to older, more secure men. If I can take care of myself, I can just date who I like. I also think some men are attracted to women who are self assured and independent. She's likely to be older than him because she will need to have had time to establish herself.

Honestly, when you look at sex drives and life expectencies, from a biological sense, it makes sense.

[jimboburnsy]

Originally Posted by TKramar

I find that "older women" are more mature...even more mature than some women in their early thirties. My current girlfriend has NO problem with traditional gender roles.

"Older women" are also a lot more "giving." *wink*

Its cool to be a cougar these days and even cooler to have a cougar. All the kids are doin' it.

[miu]

I'm in my best relationship ever with a man that is 23 years my junior. He doesn't attempt to control me and we treat each other with respect and as equals. He actually enjoys listening to my thoughts and ideas, and we can talk for hours. In his case, he has many old fashioned morals and tastes, unlike the women his age he has encountered. We are both intellectuals, hate cell phones and texting, and love to drive manual transmission sportscars. We are both atheists. We also both don't want children. Our non-physical bond is extremely strong and our personalities mesh well together, so I have no worries about him leaving me for a younger woman later on.

Otherwise, I feel that it's my responsibility to stay in good health and be active as long as possible. I'm not afraid of getting wrinkled and older looking, then losing his love, but it's more that I don't want to become frail and less mobile for him. Fortunately, my family has a history of having good health and living a long time. People mistake me for being in my thirties and I just got a job that keeps me very active. I often refer to one staircase at work as my "stairmaster". There is also lifting involved which will help maintain my bone density.

I think that the combination of an older women and younger man makes more sense than the reverse. On average, women live longer by men by seven years. And I think that we age better too. One of my grandmothers had a second marriage to a man older than her by at least ten years. During the early part of their marriage, he was very controlling (according to my stepfather) and in the last years of their marriage, she wasn't very happy dealing with his infirmities and senility. Not to say that it couldn't have happened had she been married to a man the same age as her, but obviously with an older man, the odds are much better for that happening.

Again though, if one is going to be in an age gap relationship, I feel that it's more the responsibility of the older partner to make sure that they stay in good health for their younger partner. And also to make sure that if they have any children together, that those children will be provided for should the older parent pass away before they become adults.

[Humboldt1]

Its great that there are some older women who are having success dating younger men. However, generally, men date women who are their age to a few years younger, especially when you have people wanting to have children.

I am 30 years old. I have dated a woman 9 years older than me. She had a son and was just at a different place in her life than me. I would not date a woman over 35 years old and would date a woman as young as 22 years old (21 if she has graduated college already).

Women at 40 years old are 9X more likely to have children with down syndrome than women at 30 years old. My mother has always told me about the risks of women having children past the age of 35 (it might be 40 now with improved medical technology).

For this reason, I will not date a woman who would not be able to give me kids before she is 40.

You can cite Demi and Austin as a success story but also remember she was not able to give him a child. I am sure her age didn't help.

And whether we like it or not, in their 30s men do not have to worry about their biological clocks as women do. I am more of a catch at 30 years old than I was at 25. When I am 35 years old I will be more of a catch than now (I hope I am married by then).

Is this true of women (throw out career and money)? If you are a guy, would you rather date a 25 year old or a 35 year old femaile if you are 30? Most guys will go for the 25 year old, though obviously there are exceptions.

Can anyone please tell me the average age difference in marriages (only marriages) between men and women? I know men on average are older (probably 2-3 years) but I don't have the concrete numbers.

[miu]

Originally Posted by Humboldt1

Is this true of women (throw out career and money)? If you are a guy, would you rather date a 25 year old or a 35 year old femaile if you are 30? Most guys will go for the 25 year old, though obviously there are exceptions.

I would say that most guys approach a woman based solely on her looks. Therefore, most men would approach the better looking women and they would probably be the younger ones.

I am very very lucky because my boyfriend was attracted to me first because of my smarts, logical mind and personality. Then he is most happy because I am not a size 0 and that I am a tomboy that doesn't have makeup plastered all over my face. He is turned off by skinny feminine girly women. And with that combination, I can easily beat out all the women he meets.... although one of his customers is a Japanese American airline pilot with a Subaru STi. So even after five years together, he finds me his perfect woman and thinks himself very lucky to have me as his girlfriend.

And again, we don't want to have kids. But I find that living in the metro Boston area, a lot of the educated people I know just aren't interested in reproducing. There seem to be more than enough babies being made and they are expensive and time consuming to raise properly.

And as I have said before, if my boyfriend I were to break up, I wouldn't find another 20 something year old to date. I don't approach men based on their looks or their age, but more on how smart they are and the person they are inside. I generally find men in their mid thirties and forties appealing. But being almost 50, I probably wouldn't seriously date a man that was older than me unless he was is really good health. I don't want to have to be his nurse later on. I want someone that can keep up with me.

[Cleomayline]

Yes, health is a concern. However, I have found older men to be very tender and nurturing and, surprisingly, great in bed in every way.