U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-18-2008, 02:04 PM
 
Location: Oxford, OH
1,463 posts, read 2,347,826 times
Reputation: 816

Advertisements

Capt Dan that was an interesting point. Maybe she is seeing someone else. Who knows.
Most people seem to feel they need sex in the relationship or it has this big part missing. I know of a lot of older couples. Maybe not in their 40's. But I'm around 60 and my husband is almost 66 and he says he has no interest and it has been that way for several years. But we are friends and go and do together. As I talk to other couples many say sex is few and far between.
Here's another issue. If sex is a deal breaker than what about people who are married to someone with a long term illness or had a car accident and are in a wheelchair. Do you think they love them less???? Of course not!!! Do you think that other areas of love and companionship make up for that area.
Don't you think that guy can take care of himself without cheating.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-18-2008, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Texas
2,172 posts, read 4,599,963 times
Reputation: 1308
Quote:
Originally Posted by franksbacon View Post
I'm here reading and have yet to hear a good answer, just criticism, mostly from those who do not know how to read. Again, I have tried talking US through this mess 5 million times. She is not up for it. She gets mad and tells me, "That is the way I am and if you don't like it, you know what to do about it." I hear that line each and every time I press the issue.

And to those who say just use my hand, well now there is a new idea, however, not a real viable solution.

I guess my options come down to a simple solution. Live with it, cheat, or leave her.
Pretty much Frank.. you married her and stayed in the relationship with her for 23 years knowing what she was like.. so you have two options.. not three.. Live with it.. or get a divorce.. cheating.. is part of divorcing... so those are the two options.. you figure it out.. you are the one that controls that destiny. She has already told you her choice...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2008, 03:56 PM
 
Location: SRQ ~ Siesta Key
4,227 posts, read 8,243,352 times
Reputation: 1499
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I believe should this happen it's more likely about revenge and control than about lack of desire.
One of my friends told me my x wanted to leave me years ago but felt bad about the amount of $ he spent on his addiction that he took from me....I thought the lack of sex was because of his addiction...the h*ll with it, it's over done and I have had more of it with the new younger boyfriend in a month and a half than I did with my x in two years...

Moral of the story: sometimes you've got to take the horse by the reins and say, either we're going to the water and you're going to drink, or I'm off to a new rodeo*

*see what happens as 5:00 approaches? The humour starts to get a bit decadent.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2008, 04:01 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
22,126 posts, read 16,721,061 times
Reputation: 11622
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Man in SATX View Post
Pretty much Frank.. you married her and stayed in the relationship with her for 23 years knowing what she was like.. so you have two options.. not three.. Live with it.. or get a divorce.. cheating.. is part of divorcing... so those are the two options.. you figure it out.. you are the one that controls that destiny. She has already told you her choice...
I see one problem here. After 23 years of accepting this, on what grounds does he now say it's so unacceptable the marriage should end? That's a long time to put up with something you claim you can't stand and he did it during the years men's sex drives are the strongest. That has me baffled. I could see it if this was new but he's kind of set precident here.

I do agree on only two choices. Cheating is not a choice. It's part of the divorce process.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2008, 04:01 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,844 posts, read 54,243,396 times
Reputation: 22787
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladywithafan View Post
Moral of the story: sometimes you've got to take the horse by the reins and say, either we're going to the water and you're going to drink, or I'm off to a new rodeo*
Ha, that's funny. I didn't know this was an American saying, too (the first part, obviously; not the rodeo). Or are you not originally from here, either...? I saw "humour" below...

Quote:
*see what happens as 5:00 approaches? The humour starts to get a bit decadent.
It may approach for some... It's sad 2:00 p.m. here... At least I made it past the hump!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2008, 04:04 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
22,126 posts, read 16,721,061 times
Reputation: 11622
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
Honestly, you need to either accept your wife the way she is or move on. If you moved on, there's no telling if you would find a more satisfying relationship anyway. Only you know if the risk is worth it.
It doesn't sound like you're cut out to be a cheater, or you would have by now.
Men lose their ability to have have sex for many medical reasons. If you lost your's, would you expect her to stick by you, or dump you for someone else?
Good point. Are psychological reasons any less real than medical?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2008, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
22,126 posts, read 16,721,061 times
Reputation: 11622
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Ha, that's funny. I didn't know this was an American saying, too (the first part, obviously; not the rodeo). Or are you not originally from here, either...? I saw "humour" below...



It may approach for some... It's sad 2:00 p.m. here... At least I made it past the hump!

But....It's 5:00 somewhere.....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2008, 04:07 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,844 posts, read 54,243,396 times
Reputation: 22787
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
But....It's 5:00 somewhere.....
I know... but there's no flask in my drawer! Guess I can be nuts enough even sober...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2008, 06:10 PM
 
Location: Silver Springs, FL
23,443 posts, read 17,681,375 times
Reputation: 15560
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
But....It's 5:00 somewhere.....
Its always 5:00 somewhere
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2008, 07:45 PM
 
Location: Texas
2,172 posts, read 4,599,963 times
Reputation: 1308
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
I see one problem here. After 23 years of accepting this, on what grounds does he now say it's so unacceptable the marriage should end? That's a long time to put up with something you claim you can't stand and he did it during the years men's sex drives are the strongest. That has me baffled. I could see it if this was new but he's kind of set precident here.

I do agree on only two choices. Cheating is not a choice. It's part of the divorce process.
That is also part of my problem.. apparantly he has tried to do something about it and failed.. maybe he thought he could change her mind process and is obviously frustrated with it not changing.. I cant say I have to blame him.. from the sounds of it he has given an honest try... it is decision time now.. it appears that the frustration is overwhelming at this point.. it is either number 1 or number 2... if he stays with her.. he obviously has to say she needs some counciling along with the choice to stay with her or he proceeds on to #2... but.. from what I read.. she has already told him.. "hey you married me and knew the way I was.. *********.. deal with it.. you have a choice.. stay with me or divorce me" .. with that attitude.. I would show her the door with my 10 and a half... pretty simply put... yeah it has been 23 years.. but what does that matter?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top