why did I have fake friends? (guy, therapy, dance, calling)

[New-Mona]

Fake friends are for a while but real friends are for life
I have had many fake friends in my life and one real friend so far , one of my fake friends led me to the doctor because I needed therapy , they put some commets on me , on my look or my work ,like you are so tall you are not good enough on work ,bad commets actually ,so I couldn't continue my life in that way ,then I throw them all . I have had no friends for a long time , now I feel I am so stupid and weak to let people toying with me , actually I did not choose them , I accepted them , is that my fault ? my punishment ! why I had fake friends!!!!!!!!!!!

[yankeegirl313]

You can obviously see for yourself they are fake, and not your true friends, so get rid of them, pick your head up, and move on.

[artsyguy]

from my experience in life there are many fakes out there as well as toxic people that poison your chances for happiness and success.

[Tzaphkiel]

When I have encountered people in my life who treat me poorly in some way, it is usually connected to something in myself that I need to develop or pay attention to. It sounds like people in your circle are being mean and rude and critical and calling you names; and you yourself are calling yourself names (in the post you call yourself "stupid" and "weak") so i would start with talking nicely to yourself. Tell yourself you are kind and trusting and good-natured and a good friend.....treat yourself with kindness and respect and gentleness and understanding.

Like someone said to me, if i am not kind and nice to myself, then why should anyone else treat me that way? If I don't treat myself with respect, then how can I expect anyone else to?

[artsyguy]

I agree with that advice. Saying "no thanks" or "no" is never rude if you say it kindly.

Originally Posted by DimSumRaja

When I have encountered people in my life who treat me poorly in some way, it is usually connected to something in myself that I need to develop or pay attention to. If a guy walks all over me, the skill for me to develop is to stand up for myself; if someone treats me with disrespect, it is a call for me to show myself greater respect in some way; if a friend repeatedly lies to me or repeats secrets i am learning to develop greater discernment both in choosing friends, and also in what i share about myself with others.

It is a grand exercise in moving away from "blaming them" and feeling like a victim; and moving into greater self-responsibility and self-development.

Once I "get" what it is i'm supposed to get, the problem disappears and doesn't present itself anymore. Like when I was dancing for years and creepy people kept asking me to dance and I danced with them and hated it and complained about gross icky people and how horrible they acted on the dance floor to me, and what it really required of me was learning to say "No" when someone asked me to dance, which i thought was rude or hurt feelings, but finally i started saying no and the problem disappeared entirely, voila! like magic! no more creepy people asking me to dance.

[artsyguy]

why did you change your post

Originally Posted by DimSumRaja

When I have encountered people in my life who treat me poorly in some way, it is usually connected to something in myself that I need to develop or pay attention to. It sounds like people in your circle are being mean and rude and critical and calling you names; and you yourself are calling yourself names (in the post you call yourself "stupid" and "weak") so i would start with talking nicely to yourself. Tell yourself you are kind and trusting and good-natured and a good friend.....treat yourself with kindness and respect and gentleness and understanding.

Like someone said to me, if i am not kind and nice to myself, then why should anyone else treat me that way? If I don't treat myself with respect, then how can I expect anyone else to?

[Tzaphkiel]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

why did you change your post

I was in the middle of editing it! LOL We posted at the same time.

[New-Mona]

if you are thinking about your fake friend , I tell you they are worthless . Don't waste your time .

[njmike]

You're your best friend. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated and then everyone else will.

[texdav]

They say that if you have one true firend you are fortunate. Have two to three you are blessed. I have been blessed in my life.