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I was walking through a shopping mall and observed a very professional attractive African American Women was making her way through the store and a African American Man who looked like a Hip Hip Artist went up the women and said, "you are fine looking" "I want to date you" The women seemed like she had seen this all before and quickly dispatched the man who did not seem to be of the same style or social class she was.
It did make me think though because it had been a long time since I have seen someone attempt to pick someone up in a public place. In an era of video dating, speed dating, singles parties and Internet personals, it seems like the old fashioned pick up attempt is dead. Ame I wrong?
Has someone attempted to puck you up and do you think it is more common in certain ethnic groups like african americans?
I get picked up all the time...and I'm a white female...it's usually the spanishs or blacks that do it.
That being the case, I don't see what's wrong with walking up to woman you find attractive and saying so. Something along the lines of: "Pardon me, I know this is unusual, but I just saw you (pass, sitting there, talking with your friends) and thought you (dress well, look attractive, etc.). I would understand if you think this is inappropriate, but would you like to meet for (coffee, lunch, etc.) some time?" How many times have we seen someone who's attractive, seems fun talking to their friends, etc., and wish we had asked them out?
To me the purpose of a date is to get to know someone, and let them get to know you. Aside from internet dating, how is that going to happen?
I do agree there's probably a lot of creeps out there (male and female), but are we as a society going to rely on internet relationships, or introductions from other friends to meet people we're interested in?
I was just going to say that this is how I would prefer to be picked up "cold".
For g-d's sake, just come up to me and say, "You know this is weird, but you are beautiful / interesting and I'd love to get coffee, blah blah blah" If you were sweet and sincere and I was attracted to you, I'd go. Double points if you look really nervous
But "Hey baby" or "You look fiinnnnnneeeeee" ....horrible <insert cool puking smiley, which I can't seem to figure out...SifuPhil??> That will NEVER work with me. Makes me think you disrespect women.
Anyway, the problem is that sometimes it's the shy ones (and good ones!) that can't just walk up to you.
If you were sweet and sincere and I was attracted to you, I'd go. Double points if you look really nervous
Something like this really happened to me in real life. When I was still in the Navy (and a loooong time ago) I was at an Air Force base going through a technical school. Right across the barracks on base was the NCO (enlisted) club. I would eat there at nights, since I didn't have a car or a way around. The hostess there was absolutely gorgeous and so nice to me everytime I came in since she recognized me every night. But I never thought about asking her out because I figured she was out of my league and/or had a boyfriend already. My roommate knew I had a crush on her and threatened at dinner that night he was going to ask her out. So... that prompted me to ask, and that night, after she sat us, I got up the nerve. After she sat a couple more people, she was walking by me when I stood up and stopped her and asked her if she wanted to go out sometime. She said "yes" but I didn't hear it at first, expecting she would turn me down cold. So, I sat back down.. it took probably less than a second or two (but felt like 30) and it hit me!! So I stood back up and said something dumb like "really?" She said that I seemed nice and she would like to go out with me.
Not a situation of exactly coming off cold on the street, but we really didn't "know" each other either. We dated for over 3 months. She was one of the women who I consider significant in my past. Except for my wife, of course (especially if you read this, hun!!!)
Anyway, the problem is that sometimes it's the shy ones (and good ones!) that can't just walk up to you.
That's why they should mandate acting classes in school. If you can run around dressed like an idiot and utter inane things to total strangers and act like a fool, then you're bound to improve your social life - you lose the fear of rejection.
Unfortunately, you also lose the fear of dressing like an idiot and uttering inane things, which doesn't exactly help your batting average...
I agree with the woman stalker part - they can be worse than men
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil
I beg to differ...
My husband was stalked by a woman client. She was a true psycho. Let's just say it was not a pleasant situation but we lived through it.
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I agree with the woman stalker part - they can be worse than men
