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Old 01-12-2007, 06:35 PM
 
2 posts, read 14,506 times
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Default traveling husbands

Does anyone have a husband who travels alot with his job? I am looking for someone to talk to about this. My husband travels and I need a friend whose husband also does the same.
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Old 10-10-2007, 12:43 PM
 
4 posts, read 26,592 times
Reputation: 19
My husband of 20 years travels a lot for work. In the first years, travel was almost non-existent. In the middle years, travel was one week every couple of months. This was ok with me because it was good to be alone once in a while and do my own thing...get caught up... During the last 2 years, however, his travel has increased to 3 weeks away and 4-6 weeks home. He travels to China so once he gets home, it's about 10 days of jet lag. I'm 46 and I have been having a very hard time with this. I would love to hear from others in my position.
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Old 10-10-2007, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Durham, NC
2,447 posts, read 5,106,113 times
Reputation: 1432
I'm a travelling husband. Fortunately I've been on a special project lately that's kept me home a lot lately, but that's about to change. I travel about 40% of the time for my job, but have been as much as 70% travel during my career. Being home so much lately has been wonderful and I dread going back to the travel. It seems a lot of folks (men & women) love the business travel b/c it provides an escape from their spouse and/or kids. I don't fall into this camp. I hate being away and I know my wife and son hate for me to be gone. I realize that travel comes with my job and career path and we're both OK with it from that perspective, but that doesn't make it any easier. However, the occassional trip is good for both of us. I think the ideal travel set up would be one 2-night trip every six weeks or so. All that being said, I feel the pain of the spouse left at home, too, b/c my wife travels some for her job as well. It is simply not easy on anyone.
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Old 10-10-2007, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Cary, NC
7,193 posts, read 13,577,438 times
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Mine does. In fact he's away for 4 weeks in India right now . I've dealt with it for the last 5 years. You get used to it afterwhile and um....don't tell my husband this, but I've actually come to secretly enjoy my "alone time" .
Feel free to PM me anytime.
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Old 10-10-2007, 01:16 PM
 
Location: Durham, NC
2,447 posts, read 5,106,113 times
Reputation: 1432
Quote:
Originally Posted by mdp_az View Post
It is simply not easy on anyone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lamishra View Post
....don't tell my husband this, but I've actually come to secretly enjoy my "alone time" .
Feel free to PM me anytime.
I stand corrected
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Old 10-10-2007, 01:20 PM
 
Location: Cary, NC
7,193 posts, read 13,577,438 times
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yeah...but it's a "secret" remember?
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Old 10-11-2007, 07:09 AM
 
4 posts, read 26,592 times
Reputation: 19
Default traveling husbands

With my husband travelling so much, I have realized that I have become dependent on him for most of my adult social interaction. I have school mom and neighborhood mom friends but when he is away, I feel very lonely. When he comes home, he understandably needs time to catch his breath... get some home alone time...work out. I am, however, eager for him to get back into the groove and reconnect with me. When he doesn't, I point it out and he feels criticized, which makes him more reluctant to re-connect. Then, the cycle begins again with the next trip. I started to play tennis and that helps. The thought of being married but living such independent lives makes me sad. Is that what happens in a marriage after awhile? Is there a better way to stay close, connected if he has to travel so much?
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Old 10-11-2007, 08:12 AM
 
3,353 posts, read 1,332,401 times
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This sounds like the ideal situation for me! I love alone time.

Perhaps this contributes to why I am not married... :-P
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Old 10-11-2007, 08:39 AM
 
Location: SoCA to NC
1,464 posts, read 4,821,169 times
Reputation: 663
Since moving here my hubby travels more. Not the long extended trips y'all speak of but mainly over nights or 2-4 days trips. I wonder of these aren't worse since you can't seem to get into one groove or the other. With three kids it makes it hard. I too have joined tennis and use that as ME time and social time but it is not the same as having another adult at home at night. I think being away from family in a new place makes it even more difficult.
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Old 10-11-2007, 08:54 AM
 
1,599 posts, read 2,294,908 times
Reputation: 2011
I go through cycles where I travel somewhere from six to eight weeks consecutively, almost always leaving Monday morning and returning Thursday evening. My wife has come to like it as it allows her to manage the kids without interference and keep to a schedule that makes sense for her. When I return home I take over and she's able to enjoy something akin to a three day mini-vacation while I play taxi and do chores.

What's transpired and why I think it works for us is that when I get home I'm so happy to be back that I only want to spend time with my family. When I'm not traveling I'll often go to bed earlier then my wife or watch television in a separate room so I can keep up with my favorites. However when I'm traveling and return home I'll stay up with my wife until she's ready for bed and I'll watch whatever she has on because it's so much better than sitting in a hotel room alone.

And because I'm always accumulating miles and points my family knows that a few times a year there will be a huge payout when we go on a great vacation for free.
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