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Appearances mean nothing. Neither do words. Actions are gold. And you only get actions over time. I personally think you slept with him too soon, regardless of his bf/gf talk. And the fact that he was talking the line after date two makes him sound more like the hit and run, classic commitmentphobe relationship. They start out like gang busters and then once you are attached, they detach. THAT's why you need to develop a relationship over TIME and not sleep with the guy so soon or get attached easily or be so readily available. So take this lesson for the next guy and pull away from this one.
Thing is after the first time I slept with him, he still wanted me to go to his friend's bbq the next day. I couldn't make it. We met for dinner the day after the bbq tho.
I travel a fair bit and that week itself was off somewhere. Assuming that we were still at a cool stage, I didn't text or call him. He texted me when I was away not to have too much fun and to remember the bf back hm.
I mean honestly, seems as tho the guy is out for a rship right?he called when I was back in town to check on me as well cause I fell ill during the trip.we did meet up some time after and spent the night together.( I had to leave early the next day cause I had an impt presentation)
I'm just trying to understand whether is it because I have been too cautious hence he thinks I'm playing hard to get (even after sleeping together)hence this whole thing starts cooling off.(Sorry, am a girl hence this hopeful side)
If it's because of me, is there anything that I can do to reel him back?
I'm just not the kind of girl who follows a guy around or text him that I'm going over to his place so soon after meeting a guy. (He told me I can just come over anytime) I'm just scared he might have backed off cause he thought I'm just not the committed sort and just wanted to have fun despite him laying it all out early on
Sorry girl, but you got used. There are so many men like that in the DC area (Smart, educated, accomplished, suave) that will take advantage of the low price of words to woo a girl into bed.
Just be careful next time.
Don't want to come off as to judgemental, but what women is going to believe this I love you nonsense after 2 dates. If I went out with a woman and 2 dates in she's like I love you and talking about bf/gf stuff I'd be like WTF
it should be a mutual decision not his decision alone.
imo it is too early to be called a "couple". I'd say "couple" area is after two or three months of knowing each other well, going on dates, making out, establishing boundaries, feeling safe, and getting along well. That would be the perfect scenario though.
also how was the OP used? She didn't have SEX or get intimate did she?
Don't want to come off as to judgemental, but what women is going to believe this I love you nonsense after 2 dates. If I went out with a woman and 2 dates in she's like I love you and talking about bf/gf stuff I'd be like WTF
I know! And he isn't ugly or anything like that.
Geeze I'm just pissed I couldn't figure out his game early on. Men. There are too many types out there.
Why don't you just go along with it? Be smart, enjoy yourself.
This thing with sex... it's not like he's the only one who scored. Why do women always think they're being used? If you're not having sex to make yourself (along with the other person) happy, why are you doing it?
If things don't work out, there will always be more men. You sound like you've got a lot going for yourself. Just be happy and enjoy what life brings your way.
Thing is after the first time I slept with him, he still wanted me to go to his friend's bbq the next day. I couldn't make it. We met for dinner the day after the bbq tho.
I travel a fair bit and that week itself was off somewhere. Assuming that we were still at a cool stage, I didn't text or call him. He texted me when I was away not to have too much fun and to remember the bf back hm.
I mean honestly, seems as tho the guy is out for a rship right?he called when I was back in town to check on me as well cause I fell ill during the trip.we did meet up some time after and spent the night together.( I had to leave early the next day cause I had an impt presentation)
I'm just trying to understand whether is it because I have been too cautious hence he thinks I'm playing hard to get (even after sleeping together)hence this whole thing starts cooling off.(Sorry, am a girl hence this hopeful side)
If it's because of me, is there anything that I can do to reel him back?
I'm just not the kind of girl who follows a guy around or text him that I'm going over to his place so soon after meeting a guy. (He told me I can just come over anytime) I'm just scared he might have backed off cause he thought I'm just not the committed sort and just wanted to have fun despite him laying it all out early on
Your second post leaves open the possibility that he is on another thread asking the same questions. I am not defending him, because I don't have enough info about either of you. However, you describe several situations above, where you sleep with him then disappear, albeit for legitimate reasons. Maybe his feelings are hurt? In the remote possibility that he really DID feel you were a couple so quickly, his actions mimicking a hurt child may be truthful. This guy may be too immature for you, or he may be hustling you, but I wouldn't be too quick to come to a conclusion until you have a forthright discussion with him. What if you both are misreading each other?
if a person uses you for sexual intimacy or sex you are no longer special or of value to that person. That is why it sucks and hurts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie
Why don't you just go along with it? Be smart, enjoy yourself.
This thing with sex... it's not like he's the only one who scored. Why do women always think they're being used? If you're not having sex to make yourself (along with the other person) happy, why are you doing it?
If things don't work out, there will always be more men. You sound like you've got a lot going for yourself. Just be happy and enjoy what life brings your way.
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