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Old 06-27-2008, 04:27 PM
 
Location: Midwest
1,167 posts, read 1,004,694 times
Reputation: 1488

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So, my husband and I will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary in 9 days and I was just wondering if I can get some honest, serious input from the wonderful gentlemen who are a part of CD. Ladies feel free to post as well! I know you all probably have some words of wisdom!

I would like to know what traits your SO possesses that make them so great for you, and I would like to know the things that we should look out for. What traits should we try to avoid. I want nothing more than to make sure my husband is happy and that his needs are met, so any input would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks in advance!!!!

Last edited by Miss Martha; 06-27-2008 at 04:37 PM..
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Old 06-27-2008, 05:21 PM
 
Location: Sunny Florida
6,565 posts, read 6,670,028 times
Reputation: 7619
I think if the happiness of your spouse is a priority with you, and it appears it is, you're on your way to a great relationship. Of course, trust, respect, empathy, consideration, honesty, fidelity, and kindness go a long way in a relationship too.
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Old 06-27-2008, 05:26 PM
 
930 posts, read 1,531,877 times
Reputation: 963
Start hot and stay hot.
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Old 06-27-2008, 05:31 PM
 
1,130 posts, read 1,817,973 times
Reputation: 543
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunnydee View Post
I think if the happiness of your spouse is a priority with you, and it appears it is, you're on your way to a great relationship. Of course, trust, respect, empathy, consideration, honesty, fidelity, and kindness go a long way in a relationship too.



Keep those private moments many!!!! And, be sure to keep exploring the territory, if'n you get my drift!!!!! In the words of a genius wordsmith "Love, love will keep us (You) together!"
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Old 06-27-2008, 06:00 PM
 
271 posts, read 702,678 times
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What makes my man so great? Well, he's actually a very caring person, he's considerate of my feelings, he's attentive of my needs, we are best friends, something i lacked in my previous marriage. No matter how bad his day was at work, he always asks me how my day was.

I think it also helps that he gets home before i do, therefore it gives him time to unwind before i get home. Often, he will have dinner ready. He texts me from work just to say i love you. He has forgotten my birthday, but see he does little things all the time, so if he forgets my b-day, it's not a big deal for me.

What do i do for my man........well, first of all i am not a nagger. I keep a clean house, i try to cook everyday, i don't sweat the small stuff. I let my man be a man.......but believe me i know exactly how to get what i want from him, and i do.
One example, we are buying a new house and last night we were talking about that i want palm trees, and he's of course no, we don't need palm trees, don't need to spend on that and whatever, so i just said, ok, fine, but i would like to have palm trees it would look nice. So he was, no, no, no. So i just left it at that, didn't argue about, i just ok, fine.........well, this morning he texts me from work and says, so you really want palm trees, huh?, he's like ok we'll get palm trees, and that's how it is with everything. When we were looking a homes he wanted a small 1,500sf, well i wanted something bigger, so what are we getting?, a 2,000sf.........It's all about knowing how to work your man, let him be the man, and he will give you whatever you want.

Lastly.......when it comes to the bedroom.........i turn into a little s****, dress up, hooker shoes in all..........hey, it works for me.
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Old 06-27-2008, 07:07 PM
 
Location: So Cal
24,855 posts, read 18,618,605 times
Reputation: 23377
Quote:
Originally Posted by fresnochick View Post
What makes my man so great? Well, he's actually a very caring person, he's considerate of my feelings, he's attentive of my needs, we are best friends, something i lacked in my previous marriage. No matter how bad his day was at work, he always asks me how my day was.

I think it also helps that he gets home before i do, therefore it gives him time to unwind before i get home. Often, he will have dinner ready. He texts me from work just to say i love you. He has forgotten my birthday, but see he does little things all the time, so if he forgets my b-day, it's not a big deal for me.

What do i do for my man........well, first of all i am not a nagger. I keep a clean house, i try to cook everyday, i don't sweat the small stuff. I let my man be a man.......but believe me i know exactly how to get what i want from him, and i do.
One example, we are buying a new house and last night we were talking about that i want palm trees, and he's of course no, we don't need palm trees, don't need to spend on that and whatever, so i just said, ok, fine, but i would like to have palm trees it would look nice. So he was, no, no, no. So i just left it at that, didn't argue about, i just ok, fine.........well, this morning he texts me from work and says, so you really want palm trees, huh?, he's like ok we'll get palm trees, and that's how it is with everything. When we were looking a homes he wanted a small 1,500sf, well i wanted something bigger, so what are we getting?, a 2,000sf.........It's all about knowing how to work your man, let him be the man, and he will give you whatever you want.

Lastly.......when it comes to the bedroom.........i turn into a little s****, dress up, hooker shoes in all..........hey, it works for me.

Do what works for you two.


Actually you had me a hooker shoes. LOL
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Old 06-27-2008, 07:09 PM
 
1,874 posts, read 580,176 times
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I think a perfect wife would be a career woman who never wants kids and is just happy if it was her and her husband.
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Old 06-27-2008, 07:42 PM
 
1,483 posts, read 1,240,766 times
Reputation: 326
Quote:
Originally Posted by fresnochick View Post
What makes my man so great? Well, he's actually a very caring person, he's considerate of my feelings, he's attentive of my needs, we are best friends, something i lacked in my previous marriage. No matter how bad his day was at work, he always asks me how my day was.

I think it also helps that he gets home before i do, therefore it gives him time to unwind before i get home. Often, he will have dinner ready. He texts me from work just to say i love you. He has forgotten my birthday, but see he does little things all the time, so if he forgets my b-day, it's not a big deal for me.

What do i do for my man........well, first of all i am not a nagger. I keep a clean house, i try to cook everyday, i don't sweat the small stuff. I let my man be a man.......but believe me i know exactly how to get what i want from him, and i do.
One example, we are buying a new house and last night we were talking about that i want palm trees, and he's of course no, we don't need palm trees, don't need to spend on that and whatever, so i just said, ok, fine, but i would like to have palm trees it would look nice. So he was, no, no, no. So i just left it at that, didn't argue about, i just ok, fine.........well, this morning he texts me from work and says, so you really want palm trees, huh?, he's like ok we'll get palm trees, and that's how it is with everything. When we were looking a homes he wanted a small 1,500sf, well i wanted something bigger, so what are we getting?, a 2,000sf.........It's all about knowing how to work your man, let him be the man, and he will give you whatever you want.

Lastly.......when it comes to the bedroom.........i turn into a little s****, dress up, hooker shoes in all..........hey, it works for me.
You are smart. My husband is like your husband...wonderful. I never hint at something I really want, I say it clearly ONCE or twice if he brings up the subject again. Then I drop it. I usually get what I want.

It's so interesting to me that most women don't realize this. Nearly every female friend of mine either nags, whines or demands and their husbands dig their heels in...or it turns into a battle royale where the woman plays the power/control game of it's my money, too.

You do have to let the man "be in charge". It's quite hard to explain this to most women as our culture is so bizarre re: women wanting EQUALITY. It's funny and sad to me. Women HAVE equality in our society, but a lot of women want to pretend they are THE SAME as a man. They aren't. Men like to be in charge of certain things, it makes them happy and fulfilled. I learned this lesson by watching my friends fight, fight, fight. I vowed I would have a different kind of relationship...and I do.

And I bet some people will jump on your phrase "work him"....I know exactly what you mean and it's not negative at all...it's very positive. I know your husband knows exactly what is going on and HE loves the way you handle this.

Wish every woman would try this approach (it's more like a way of relating) and see what a calm, wonderful life you can have without the fights about control and power.

...And yes being a sl*t in the bedroom (if he likes that sort of thing) is definitely appreciated by guys. I heard a story about a woman that sat under the Xmas tree naked with a bow on top of her head as her husbands ONLY Xmas gift! He LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED it. Sounds stupid to a lot of women...if they only knew how men thought they would try it.
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Old 06-27-2008, 08:15 PM
 
308 posts, read 1,086,587 times
Reputation: 167
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Martha View Post
So, my husband and I will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary in 9 days and I was just wondering if I can get some honest, serious input from the wonderful gentlemen who are a part of CD. Ladies feel free to post as well! I know you all probably have some words of wisdom!

I would like to know what traits your SO possesses that make them so great for you, and I would like to know the things that we should look out for. What traits should we try to avoid. I want nothing more than to make sure my husband is happy and that his needs are met, so any input would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks in advance!!!!
Why not ask your husband? You will find that people's answers may vary upon what they consider "perfect" or what makes them "happy." Trying to meet someone else's needs & idea of perfection may not make your partner happy; in fact, it may have the opposite effect.
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Old 06-27-2008, 09:07 PM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
5,146 posts, read 10,178,436 times
Reputation: 5804
Well, first of all, I resent the idea that there is such a thing as the "perfect" wife. Or perfect anything, for that matter!

However, I do think that women can manage their relationships better, without the fighting, the power struggles, and so on. If you've got a good man to begin with, and you can make him happy without compromising your values, then do whatever that is. And whenever your ego starts to rear its ugly head with questions like, "Why should I?" "Who does he think he is?", etc., ask yourself a new question: "What is best for the relationship?" You may have to give in on arguments without winning, you may have to swallow your pride on a few occasions, but it won't kill you.

The best part of this is that a man who is happy will do almost anything to please you. It seems like a no brainer that if you make him happy he'll probably want to go out of his way to make you happy!
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