I feel sick..... (wife, personality, straight, alcohol)

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by yankeegirl313

Hmmmmm...interesting. I wonder how come I can drink wine or beer, and usually be fine.
At any rate, if he can eat, that will help soak up the alcohol. Shouldn`t be long now until he passes out. I hope he realizes that he needs to stop drinking after the incident tonight.

Much lower alcohol content in beer and wine than in the hard stuff

[SandyCo]

What is even scarier and more difficult to deal with is when they don't remember what they did or said while they were drunk! You'd think that blacking out would be enough of a prod for someone to get help, right? Not always! And God forbid if you try to tell them what they said. "I never said that!" Ummm...

To the OP, I'm glad you're okay for tonight. Yes, he needs to stop drinking forever. The next time this happens, you need to vanish with the kids. No more chances for him.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by SandyCo

The next time this happens, you need to vanish with the kids. No more chances for him.

I find such advices very extreme, dangerous, and irresponsible. Some people are more prone to influence than others. Singlehood doesn't appear to be all that happy for many and it's even less so for encumbered people.

[SandyCo]

You have obviously never dealt with someone who has a drinking problem. I grew up with alcoholic parents, and it was Hell. I stand by what I said.

However, when I said "vanish", I didn't mean to vanish forever. Leaving may be the only way he'll understand how serious she is that he needs to get help, though.

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

I find such advices very extreme, dangerous, and irresponsible. Some people are more prone to influence than others. Singlehood doesn't appear to be all that happy for many and it's even less so for encumbered people.

[quelinda]

Drinking a few times a year, but having a bad reaction to alcohol that increases anger, does NOT mean he's an alcoholic IMO. I believe one is an alcoholic when one cannot stop themselves from drinking, even when they've decided not to drink. An addiction is a desire for something that the person does not really want, not something that causes a change in behavior whenever the person indulges. If you're always a happy drunk, why does that not also make you an alcoholic? The point of a substance like that is to change your behavior and feelings, but when those changes are negative, one wonders what the point is.

It does mean that if he's rude to you when drinking (as mine is also sometimes) then he should never ever drink when he will be anywhere around you.

[himain]

I second the vanishing. Dealing with someone who has a drinking problem is a total nightmare. Its very jekyl and hyde situation.

[cricket_factor]

Originally Posted by veuvegirl

Yes, I'll send them to the neighbors while we talk. It is just a horrible time right now, we are moving in a week so everything is up in the air.

You can look online and find an Al-Anon meeting in the area you're moving to. There are people in those meetings that are going through the exact same thing you are.

[TrishP7]

Remember the vows..through thick and thin!! He seems to be a good man..but has a problem! Remember, we all have our demons. Next to every good man is a good woman..so stick it through with him and be his backbone.

Dont throw away a good thing that needs a bit of tweeking. And please dont think that I'm minuting this situation..not at all...But I hate to see good relationships go sour when theres so much potential!

Take your time..dont rush into anything..get some professional counseling so you can figure out how to help hubby come to the realization of his problem.

Good lUck!

[veuvegirl]

Originally Posted by TrishP7

Remember the vows..through thick and thin!! He seems to be a good man..but has a problem! Remember, we all have our demons. Next to every good man is a good woman..so stick it through with him and be his backbone.

Dont throw away a good thing that needs a bit of tweeking. And please dont think that I'm minuting this situation..not at all...But I hate to see good relationships go sour when theres so much potential!

Take your time..dont rush into anything..get some professional counseling so you can figure out how to help hubby come to the realization of his problem.

Good lUck!

Thanks Trish. We had a good talk today and he agreed to stop drinking for the ALL day parties. That's what does him in. If it is dinner, or a short party he is fine. It's when he drinks for ALL day....

The problem is I don't want this to be a broken record. I know the vows are through think and thin, but I WILL not put up with someone who treats me like crap. I did that once, and will never EVER do that again.

He is a wonderful man, don't get me wrong. I pray this is the end of it....

[Lindsey_Mcfarren]

NO vow made in a marriage ceremony requires a woman to allow her home to be turned into a battle field and the safety and harmony of her childrens homes thrown in the trash.

I hope at some point he is able to admit he shouldn't be drinking at all. That certainly does sound like the reality here.

My first husband was like you speak of yours. I asked him nicely, I told him it really shocked me and hurt my feelings when he would turn on me like that. He was normally a peacable, likeable person, so laid back, but when he drank, he got nasty. It didn't have to be much at all and it didn't have to be the heavy stuff.

I do hope you can work things out but you seem aware enough to realize that you and your children shouldn't be sacrificed on the altar of "stay with you man until the bitter end" kind of thinking.