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View Poll Results: Would you be nervous about pursuing a relationship with a middle aged person who has never been in l
Yes, they would be to set in their ways 1 7.14%
No, they may finally be open and mature enough today 10 71.43%
A persons dating history has some effect on their ability to love 3 21.43%
Voters: 14. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-01-2008, 11:00 AM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
148 posts, read 438,897 times
Reputation: 118

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I have a friend who is middle aged and looking for love in the personals. He is talking to all kinds of women who have never married and have never really had a romantic relationship. He has gone out a few times with a very friendly and physically attractive 45 year old lady who for one reason or another has never been in love.

I told my male friend that women like that are bad news. Why would someone that old who has struck out in the world of dating and love for so long be able to fall in love and have a regular relationship at 45? She would be to set in her ways and use to being alone.

Would you be afraid to get into a romantic relationship with a middle aged person who has never been in LOVE?
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Old 07-01-2008, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
22,111 posts, read 16,681,529 times
Reputation: 11614
You just described my best friend and I can't for the life of me figure out why she hasn't fallen in love. Everyone who meets her asks the same quesiton but still, she hasn't met her Mr. Right.

I'll go with worth a shot. You never know.
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Old 07-01-2008, 11:18 AM
 
Location: in my imagination
10,136 posts, read 13,157,264 times
Reputation: 7105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
You just described my best friend and I can't for the life of me figure out why she hasn't fallen in love. Everyone who meets her asks the same quesiton but still, she hasn't met her Mr. Right.

I'll go with worth a shot. You never know.
It describes me though Im male and slightly younger.People ask me why too,what am I suppose to say,I just don't know.I mean I can't just decide to fall in love,its not like I have control over feelings.

Should I just settle for marriage and commitment just because?
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Old 07-01-2008, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
11,242 posts, read 11,167,857 times
Reputation: 11315
Maybe she is just smarter than the rest of us! Im 45 and on divorce #2 with lots of scars and baggage. How would that be any better?
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Old 07-01-2008, 11:22 AM
 
Location: Marion, IN
8,192 posts, read 19,589,037 times
Reputation: 6639
Love is actually pretty rare. Crushes are not. I don't think there is anything wrong with someone who has the clarity of sight not to confuse the two.
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Old 07-01-2008, 11:29 AM
 
13,482 posts, read 12,051,831 times
Reputation: 7683
Quote:
Originally Posted by total_genius View Post
I have a friend who is middle aged and looking for love in the personals. He is talking to all kinds of women who have never married and have never really had a romantic relationship. He has gone out a few times with a very friendly and physically attractive 45 year old lady who for one reason or another has never been in love.

I told my male friend that women like that are bad news. Why would someone that old who has struck out in the world of dating and love for so long be able to fall in love and have a regular relationship at 45? She would be to set in her ways and use to being alone.

Would you be afraid to get into a romantic relationship with a middle aged person who has never been in LOVE?
You call yourself a total genius, yet you find a need to feel negative about this situation and even have to ask that question???? LOL...just kidding

There is nothing wrong with a person, who was mature enough to know, that their pursuit for their own comfort zone and happiness, didn't entail dating or marriage.

Why is it so complicated for people to understand, you DON"T have to be a couple to be successful and happy in life...

You cannot succeed in life and relationships, if you do not know who you are, what your desires are and like yourself, possess enough confidence to go after what you want. People all to quickly hang onto the old fashioned ways of marriage is their life's purpose. It isn't...and most of the time, if your not good with the company you keep (meaning your own) a relationship is really not going to work out.

I would never fear dating someone who never dated, and was 45 years old. To me, (and you'd have to date for a while to know) but they would now be ready to find someone compatible, meaning, mature enough to know that a relationship isn't built on the physical alone...more so, if two people are mentally compatible, i.e. spiritually, hobbies, music, politics...etc...then they might be very good candidates to pursue something more. Not to mention...they are now in the know of who they are and what their needs are...

I believe women as such, strike fear in the hearts of some men, especially if they are insecure...these men, fear confident women who not only know who they are and what their needs are, but are very secure in life without a man...therefore, they're selective and very well should be.

Just the fact that he is not afraid to pursue these women is a plus and a smart move...as I've known men that are really intimidated by strong, confident women, who are indeed, intellectually interesting.

Find me a man like that, and I'll give em my phone number..period....lol
Creme
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Old 07-01-2008, 11:32 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
13,011 posts, read 22,156,229 times
Reputation: 10198
That 45 year old woman sounds like me! True I was married very briefly in my early 30's, but I married more because I thought it was time to me to get married, and less because I was truly in love with him. This woman probably has had crushes on men, but was sensible enough to realize that having a crush or infatuation doesn't translate into really being in love. And one can have a crush on a man that aside from being very physically attractive to her, has many traits that would cause them to be incompatible as a couple. So either she has a lot of commonsense (good) or just got very involved in her career (an acceptable reason) or finds that she doesn't need a man to feel complete as a human being (also good). But your friend shouldn't be afraid of dating this woman and he should take his time in getting to know her and developing their friendship. But he should be doing anyway that with any woman he dates.
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Old 07-01-2008, 11:44 AM
 
Location: SC Foothills
8,830 posts, read 6,263,347 times
Reputation: 58115
Quote:
Originally Posted by total_genius View Post
I have a friend who is middle aged and looking for love in the personals. He is talking to all kinds of women who have never married and have never really had a romantic relationship. He has gone out a few times with a very friendly and physically attractive 45 year old lady who for one reason or another has never been in love.

I told my male friend that women like that are bad news. Why would someone that old who has struck out in the world of dating and love for so long be able to fall in love and have a regular relationship at 45? She would be to set in her ways and use to being alone.

Would you be afraid to get into a romantic relationship with a middle aged person who has never been in LOVE?
Well, I am 45 as of today. I'm not physically attractive, I don't look for love because I've had enough of the misused word. Divorced twice, that's my take on it. There's a lot I could do to make myself more physically attractive (mostly lose weight) but what for? I don't want a relationship any longer.

I would seriously have to question a woman who is my age and has never been in love. I think I would do a background search. Could be a lying woman who's been married 5 times. (I knew of a woman who lied about her marriages (5) AND her age) If the facade is fake, then chances are the story is too. A woman of this age that is still in the dating game and claims to have never had a serious relationship? Not possible. If she were a celibate librarian I might believe it.
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Old 07-01-2008, 11:50 AM
 
2,779 posts, read 4,964,602 times
Reputation: 680
I'd vote for a background search.
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Old 07-01-2008, 11:56 AM
 
240 posts, read 950,628 times
Reputation: 237
I don't think there is anything wrong with this woman. To me she sounds like a smart woman who knows what she is looking for and is not willing to settle like most people I know.
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