What's the difference between men and women (cheat, husband, social)

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by Jefetio

what of the woman who leaves a stable and supportive man for mr. "fantasy lover" they meet two weeks prior, then 6 months down the road inevitably mr. fantasy drops them off on the side of the road? because it's all in their head, a fantasy that's all about them them them and it's sooo much sweeter than reality and it's called NARCISM. When a woman get's emotional she loses all perspective, EVERYONE around her can see it (even other women) but she can't because it's all... about... her...

Hmm, now those things I do know about. In my case they happen only when I'm totally single. Oh, well, as I said today, I've married a fantasy once, too. Believe it or not, some of us are faithful and loyal while in a serious relationship. I usually take long sabbaticals after the ends. Another person has never been a reason for splitting up.

It looks to me you've been hurt by cheating and you're more sensitive on this particular subject. Sorry.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by SifuPhil

I heard that they're offering a summertime leasing special on Phil - $0 down, 0% interest, $59.95/mn @ 36 months.

Taxes, tags and pepperoni pizzas not included. Offer void where prohibited. You must be 21 or older to play. Odds of winning Phil are dependent upon total number of contestants. Not available in Puerto Rico, Guam or Wilkes-Barre, PA. Mileage may vary. Possible side-effects include drowsiness, horniness and mild stomach upset. Do not take on an empty stomach. This side up. Cargo perishable. Do not feed after dark. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. E pluribus unum. Past performance is not an indication of future earnings.

Sheesh, I'm a sensible person... how did miss the Blue Light Special tonight? Belle distracted me with her cowboys.

What happens if you feed Phil after dark?

[Rathagos]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

Believe it or not, some of us are faithful and loyal while in a serious relationship. I usually take long sabbaticals after the ends. Another person has never been a reason for splitting up.

It looks to me you've been hurt by cheating and you're more sensitive on this particular subject. Sorry.

You know what's funny (ironic funny not "haha" funny), Sierra, many men in here feel the same way and want to put the same thing down you did above about the women.

We try to tell many of you that, "believe it or not," some of us are faithful and loyal while in a serious relationship. Of course, we just get blasted because so many of you have had bad past relationship (just like us) and it's just not possible for there to be "good guys." Over time, we (as men) are learning to just shut up because it's the path of least resistance.

[Rathagos]

Originally Posted by JerZ

Err, no, it's not because "this is a female-dominated board". It's because (if you actually read the OP), it was the OP's (a man, BTW) assertion that men leave women for younger women. The answers are in responses to that.

What's funny is that my post was 37 lines, and you focused on 3-4 lines of that to comment on. It proves the reason I made the post.

I was telling SifuPhil that some of the people on this board tend to look for the most negative things about the posts on here and exploit them (for whatever reason). I am actually pleasantly surprised at the number of men and women that just agreed with it and went on. But... of course... there were those that just had to find that one line they wanted to find a way to disparage people. And then some wonder why others get defensive or don't want to take the advice on the boards.

Additionally, it was brought up...

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

The difference is, though, that a woman's emotional desires are caused by being neglected by her husband and feeling unloved while a man's physical desires are just THERE... In the first case, the partner has control over the situation; in the second - she doesn't... she just happens to be married to a cheater... I'm not saying some men are not married to the same type, but usually a woman is not inclined to cheat if she is happy in her marriage..

If I'm taking your statement out of context, please correct me, Sierra, but you are justifying that the woman's emotional desires (leading to a possible affair?) are caused by being neglected. I think that concrete a statement is as erroneous as saying that all guys affairs are cause by sexual control by the woman (specifically using or holding sex as a "weapon" against their husband). Thereby leading the husband to cheat. Although to a certain degree both are right, by condoning one, you have to condone the other, even if it's not the case all the time. If the emotional neglect by the husband can play upon the foundation of a woman's needs, then the physical neglect by the wife (to include her physical fitness as a whole) can be considered to play upon the man's needs.

But the underlying reason I started this thread (as noted above) was to hopefully shine the light on some people in here (both men and women) that you harbor negative feelings about the past and post them on here as some sort of factual basis when responding to some posters. Giving a little more consideration to their concerns and problems and detachment to yours could go a long way in giving a better response to people than attacks. Just an observation by me, but supported in DMs to me by many others that don't post rebuttals believing the backlash to them would not be worth the effort to point it out.

I don't think anyone expects everyone to agree with everything (or we'd all have the same color and type of car, the same haircuts, dress the same, etc.). I guess what's being asked for is less of the bashing (both from men and women) and more constructive advice in the replies.

Again.. although this is going to everyone in here, there's only a handful of people that continue to either instigate threads that will be overly controversial, or replies that are "bashing" one sex or the other in nature. But if it reaches just one person, who can look at themselves and honestly say "yeah.. I overstep it quite a bit" .. then there will be one more reply that imparts experience or wisdom to someone who truly needs/wants the advice.

[mom2justynsarah]

Oh, of course it's not an excuse for poor behavior. Both men and women are equal scum if they cheat on their significant others. But in general, women are emotional human beings and geared for nurturing, while men are very logical and geared for hunting.

It's interested to observe boys and girls play at the park. Although both girls and boys run, climb, jump, etc, inevitably the girls seem to pear off into smaller, intimate groups. The boys end up chasing, pushing, shoving, playing "tag", etc.

Originally Posted by hnsq

I agree completely...we are wired differently.


This isn't an excuse for poor behavior though. Genetic predispositions can be changed by using a little effort....I would still be scum if I cheated on my girlfriend. This revelation isn't an excuse.

[K-Luv]

Originally Posted by Ivorytickler

So the reason we're cheated on is our bodies are no longer good enough. Gee thanks, that's what we get for years of standing by your side? No wonder the divorce rate is 50%. It should be more.

No, the OP has it wrong. While men cheat for a variety of reasons, the number one reason is because (the cheating) man finds himself in a position to be with a woman that he normally would not have the chance to hook-up with (the woman who is out of his league). That, and because they do not think that they will get caught.

If the guy cheats on you because "your body is no longer good enough" then that is because the guy A) has a fetish for younger and or firmer bodies, B) he is having some issues with his ego and wants to reassure himself that he still has what it takes to get the young hotties.

I think that there is some credence to the sexes being wired differently, but I think that it is more or less a societal thing. Boys are taught to be tough and not to cry. Girls are taught that it is okay to cry, and in reality; it is expected of them. Boys are taught to be tough and to suck it up. John Wayne never cried.

Girls and boys up until the age of about 12 posses the same mental and physical capabilities (i.e., they both have equal skill levels in baseball, for example). When they hit puberty is when all of the differences come to surface. Personally, I think that the differences arise because of each sexes individual 'changes' that occur during puberty which makes each sex feel different and in come cases, ashamed (and no, I am not talking about penis envy). Those feelings and experiences, when coupled with what society dictates what is acceptable for boys and girls to feel and show, carry on well into adulthood. There have been a couple of studies over the last few years that have 'proven' that men and women are, for the most part, more alike then they are different. It has been shown that men go through the same emotions that women go through, but they react to them in a different way. Now, you may say that the reason that they deal with these emotions in a different way is because they are 'wired' to do so, but I disagree and stand by the notion that they deal with them differently because society tells them to.

By the way, I find it interesting that so many (not necessarily on this board) can accept, and believe, that men and women are wired different, but yet they absolutely refuse to believe that homosexuals are born that way. If a man and a woman can be born with certain wiring, isn't it then possible that a gay man has been wired to be attracted to men? All logic would say yes.

[mom2justynsarah]

Yes, I agree with most everything you wrote. Yes, boys are definetly taught to "suck it up" , "man it up" or "be a man." They can't be "cry babies". I see it happening with my own son. But it's completely acceptable for my daughter to do so. But I am telling you, as a mother to both a boy and a girl, there ARE inherent differences between them. It all has to do with chemicals in their brain, as well as testosterone and estrogen.

By the way, I personally DO believe that homosexual's ARE born that way. They ARE wired that way. But this is MY opinion and not the expression of anyone else.

I think that there is some credence to the sexes being wired differently, but I think that it is more or less a societal thing. Boys are taught to be tough and not to cry. Girls are taught that it is okay to cry, and in reality; it is expected of them. Boys are taught to be tough and to suck it up. John Wayne never cried.

Girls and boys up until the age of about 12 posses the same mental and physical capabilities (i.e., they both have equal skill levels in baseball, for example). When they hit puberty is when all of the differences come to surface. Personally, I think that the differences arise because of each sexes individual 'changes' that occur during puberty which makes each sex feel different and in come cases, ashamed (and no, I am not talking about penis envy). Those feelings and experiences, when coupled with what society dictates what is acceptable for boys and girls to feel and show, carry on well into adulthood. There have been a couple of studies over the last few years that have 'proven' that men and women are, for the most part, more alike then they are different. It has been shown that men go through the same emotions that women go through, but they react to them in a different way. Now, you may say that the reason that they deal with these emotions in a different way is because they are 'wired' to do so, but I disagree and stand by the notion that they deal with them differently because society tells them to.

By the way, I find it interesting that so many (not necessarily on this board) can accept, and believe, that men and women are wired different, but yet they absolutely refuse to believe that homosexuals are born that way. If a man and a woman can be born with certain wiring, isn't it then possible that a gay man has been wired to be attracted to men? All logic would say yes.[/quote]

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by mom2justynsarah

Girls and boys up until the age of about 12 posses the same mental and physical capabilities (i.e., they both have equal skill levels in baseball, for example).

They might, but boys behave absolutely differently. Apologies to all parents, but I just can't stand most boys in the about 5-13 age group... They’re so loud and obnoxious!

[mom2justynsarah]

OMG, that is so funny! I am not offended cause what your saying has some truth to it. My son and all of his friends are in the 9-11 year old range. You want to know how to spell obnoxious? THEM!!!!!

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

They might, but boys behave absolutely differently. Apologies to all parents, but I just can't stand most boys in the about 5-13 age group... They’re so loud and obnoxious!

[the one]

i dont think women are more emotional than men. or are the emotional ones. we are all emotional. we just show different emotions.

men are very emotional. not in the sappy crybaby way, but they are emotional none the less. anger is an emotion after all.

and i think depression is pretty common amongst most people. sad is an emotion we all get right?

we are all emotional beings. shown in different ways. some just show it more than others.