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Old 06-27-2010, 01:56 PM
 
8,681 posts, read 7,277,488 times
Reputation: 14924
How can I say this gracefully?

I don't dislike my man's friends. They're good, responsible people, and they aren't snobby or mean.

We just don't have anything in common other than our affection for my man. Our lifestyles, interests, and social structure are completely different.
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Old 06-27-2010, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
677 posts, read 873,285 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzaphkiel View Post
My experience has been that sometimes best friends can be jealous of the sweetheart for taking the time and attention away from them.

When I was married most of my husband's friends were OK and it was fun hanging out with them. Except one of them was totally creepy and every warning bell in my head went off when we had dinner with him and his then-wife. His first wife he had committed to a mental institution and watching how he treated his second wife I'd say she was well on her way to a breakdown also. I mean this guy was DANGEROUS. My husband couldn't see it, but he did share that when they were kids he tortured small animals, and what's reallly creepy is that he works in an upper level government job doing top secret work. I refused to ever again spend time with this guy. Also he talked about guns and weapons all the time. I wouldn't be surprised if he tortured political prisoners and took pleasure from it.
Yes, yes, yes. I am my boyfriend's first girlfriend and his best friend was so jealous when we got together, it was unbelievable.

I really can't stand my boyfriend's friends. One of them lives with my boyfriend and his parents, doesn't contribute anything to the house in terms of money or chores. He's being kicked out in a couple of days thank GOD. And the 'best friend' is an egomaniac & manipulative man *****.

I guess those are really the only friends he sees anymore. His family is awesome except for one brother that is kind of out there.

ETA: Also, my boyfriend works at pizza hut and most of his colleagues are 'gangsta' drug dealers who I can't STAND. He's been picking up habits from them that are driving me crazy >.<
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Old 06-28-2010, 07:20 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
12,955 posts, read 21,492,877 times
Reputation: 10082
Wow! An old thread revived! Well two years later, I still dislike my boyfriend's bosses. But he realizes that even though they are all the same age, it's purely a work relationship, not a friendship. But my boyfriend is friends with one of the bosses' younger brother. Once in a while, all three of us will go out to dinner. Usually it's just the two of them because this guy is single, so I think that they are happier being able to do their guy talk thing without me.

I think that hands down, I am still my boyfriend's best friend. His next best friend lives in NC. Of his other friends, I do encourage him to spend time with them. And during the summer months, once or twice a month he goes off with his buddies to go camping and dirt biking.

I feel that one of the things that my boyfriend has learned from me is how to sort out his friendships. Best friend-type friends are few and far between. Then, there is a difference between real friends and casual friends/acquaintances. And how a friendship develops depends on the personalities involved and how much everyone has in common in terms of interests, goals and moral values. That's why some close friendships develop quickly and seem so natural, while other social interactions never go anywhere.
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Old 06-28-2010, 12:33 PM
 
292 posts, read 396,935 times
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How about when your husband hates any friend of yours? Even ones that he hasn't met? I think my husband is just very introverted but it makes it where the only friends you have are eachother and if you aren't really friends.. makes for a very lonely life.
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Old 09-17-2010, 09:44 AM
 
1 posts, read 2,804 times
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Default My wife's best friend

I absolutely canno stand my Wife's best friend. She is constantly asking her to go out and almost all of the time they stay over in a Hotel or at her house. I have never been out with them (and do not want to) but from the photos I have seen they always seem to meet up with groups of men. I trust my wife 100% when it comes to affairs, however her best friend has kids with 2 different men and had an affair 4 months into her last marriage. My wife did not tell me about these affairs and it really annoyed me. I have talked to her about this and told her i do not want her to go out with this friend anymore which has caused arguements.

Anyone got any advice or been through similar situations???
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Old 09-17-2010, 10:28 AM
 
24,591 posts, read 25,653,468 times
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You know, when my wife and I began dating and then got married, my wife's best friend kept inserting herself into our relationship. By that, I mean that Cynthia would, upon learning that MrsCPG had plans, would tell her, "Oh, why don't you blow that off and come with me to _____________ [insert activity here]?"

MrsCPG travelled 50% of the time on biz during our early relationship, so it wasn't as if we saw a lot of each other. Yet the minute she got home from a biz trip, the phone would ring, and Cynthia would be pestering her about weekend plans, and laying a guilt trip on her if she didn't want to go.

It all came to a head when Cynthia wanted her to go to some decorator's show. MrsCPG, not wanting to go, said something along the lines of, "Well, I haven't spent a lot of time with CPG. I've been gone two weeks and don't know how he'd feel about my heading straight out again to look at furniture samples and wallpaper."

To that, Cynthia said, "Well, just lie to him and tell him that I'm having some kind of emergency." Well that flew all over MrsCPG, and the two didn't speak for a while. I know that the woman was in a bad marriage and manipulative as hell, but I didn't think it was a good idea to run down MrsCPG's friend. So I gave Cynthia enough rope to hang herself, and she did.

Now, however, we all get along pretty well, once Cynthia behaved herself.
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Old 09-17-2010, 11:31 AM
 
331 posts, read 551,603 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie View Post
I always test out prospective bf's on groups of my (occasionally eccentric) friends to see how it works. Men come and go; my friends have been with me for decades, in some cases.

My theory (no one else's) is that we are composite images of the people we choose to surround ourselves with. If I don't like someone's friends or they don't like mine, there's probably a problem somewhere. Of course, some of my friends don't like each other, but that's their business.
I feel the same way. If a SO can't hang with my friends, then we probably won't work out. I hated my last SO's friends. I made the mistake of going on vacation with them for a week. I had to get so drunk out of my mind to enjoy spending time with them, it made the entire weekend pretty lousy. My SO enjoyed hanging out with my friends, and my friends and I all liked him. However, it made it to where there wasn't a lot of compromise as far as social gatherings went. I refused to go to parties with his friends (and the reason I told him was that "Sorry, but I hate them"). We'd typically just go hang out with our respective friends, and just hang out with my group or just the two of us. Neither of us thought this was ideal, but made it really easy when we broke up (no mutual friends, etc).
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Old 10-07-2010, 09:12 PM
 
1 posts, read 2,752 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trilby1313 View Post
I absolutely canno stand my Wife's best friend. She is constantly asking her to go out and almost all of the time they stay over in a Hotel or at her house. I have never been out with them (and do not want to) but from the photos I have seen they always seem to meet up with groups of men. I trust my wife 100% when it comes to affairs, however her best friend has kids with 2 different men and had an affair 4 months into her last marriage. My wife did not tell me about these affairs and it really annoyed me. I have talked to her about this and told her i do not want her to go out with this friend anymore which has caused arguements.

Anyone got any advice or been through similar situations???
I found this thread from Google. I think it deserves a bump!!

Anyhow trilby could job standing your ground. She probably came back with a dumb remark towards You but your in the right here for requesting this. My wife hangs out with some big time losers, its a cat and mouse game between us for sure.
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Old 10-07-2010, 09:16 PM
Status: "ray rice = self defense" (set 4 days ago)
 
Location: San Leandro
4,414 posts, read 4,393,110 times
Reputation: 3046
Quote:
Originally Posted by beowulf7 View Post
What do you think of this article? Have you disliked or hated your significant other's friend(s)? Or have you been put in the middle where your significant other dislikes or hates your friend(s)?
Oh yeah, woman hate male bonding, nothing new.

About a month ago I pick my buddy up for a ballgame. He asks his chick "do you wanna go". She knows I dont want her to go with us. She goes "no you guys go ahead". I drop my buddy off after the game and the chick is hysterical. Crying screaming , it was insane.

My wife is pretty no nonsense. I'm not allowed at the bowling alley any more. Not that I blame her.
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Old 11-01-2011, 01:13 PM
 
1 posts, read 2,064 times
Reputation: 10
The hell! My boyfriends bestfriend invited him for an overnight stay at his family rest house. Why cant the bestfriend invite the both of us... does it really have to be my boyfriend only? oh common..!
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