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Old 07-06-2008, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,661,952 times
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I think its something that people generally bring up in conversation, before the relationship gets serious. Otherwise...its just something to throw back in their face.
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Old 07-06-2008, 05:47 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,233 posts, read 52,655,546 times
Reputation: 52753
I view it much like Clinton did with the gays in the military, "Don't ask, don't tell".
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Old 07-06-2008, 06:07 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,150,679 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I view it much like Clinton did with the gays in the military, "Don't ask, don't tell".
Aha, same here!
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Old 07-06-2008, 06:50 PM
 
Location: Southern California
15,080 posts, read 20,470,374 times
Reputation: 10343
It became irrelevant from Day One of your relationship. Fifteen years later? Forgetaboutit...
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Old 07-06-2008, 06:59 PM
 
12,997 posts, read 13,641,967 times
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I'm surprised by the responses here. My wife and I go back to high school (freshman year actually) .. and other than the occasional teacher she made out with in the bathroom in junior high, I'm the only guy she's been with (I think). So, I can't really relate. We don't have history to speak of before "us". However, if I took a different path, and met "the one" when I was in my 20s or 30s, I think this would be a natural conversation to have, wouldn't it? I don't think I would care about who there was before me in a jealous way, but I'd like to hear about her past ... aren't the people you've been with instrumental in shaping who you are now? That seems like a reasonable, even fun, topic of conversation for happily married couples... especially those of 15 years. I guess I'm missing something though.
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Old 07-06-2008, 10:46 PM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,663 posts, read 8,664,286 times
Reputation: 3750
Would you feel better if you knew? What if she said 30? Would that make you feel better? I do not know how many my husband has been with and he doesn't know about me either. We have never asked each other for a tally. We knew each other had dated others before meeting, but I didn't dig into his past and ask about the girls he went out with.
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Old 07-07-2008, 08:42 AM
 
Location: Georgia, on the Florida line, right above Tallahassee
10,471 posts, read 15,830,626 times
Reputation: 6438
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Cave Man View Post
Ever wonder how many others your spouce has been with? After 15yrs is it wrong to ask?

I've never asked............chicken $h!t I guess.
Somebody probably had your job before you. Someone might have your job after you. Right now, it's your job. Do you care about who had it before? Or after?

Or do you worry about what you will do on the job that you have?

I don't care about who had my job before. I've got it hard enough just doing things to keep the job I have.

And I don't like to think about my woman being boned by another dude. Nope...can't say that is on my "top 10 things I wish to know about."
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Old 07-07-2008, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Vestavia Hills
53 posts, read 197,668 times
Reputation: 53
Don't go there...you can't unring a bell.
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Old 07-07-2008, 01:34 PM
 
Location: Kansas
3,855 posts, read 13,266,248 times
Reputation: 1734
My wife and I are pretty open about our past. We both know how many each other have been with. It doesn't matter regardless.

Do you think she's ridden the train a lot or something? Is that why you're wondering?
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Old 07-07-2008, 01:47 PM
 
22,161 posts, read 19,213,038 times
Reputation: 18294
part of the pre-relationship sex conversation for me before i get involved with ANYONE includes previous sexual activity, including number of partners, and gender of partners. So yes i always ask but it is before i make the decision to get involved.
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