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Old 07-12-2008, 11:21 PM
 
4 posts, read 28,241 times
Reputation: 11

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[LEFT][RIGHT][FONT=Verdana]please i need a reply for my problem , but plzzzzzzzz don't type an answer that is talking about ethics, morality & consequences of infedility .. i just need to know does he really love me & how to win him back ..We were work colleagues since 2002 i was single & he was married couple of months when we firstly met , we started out as friends & were flirting together , we had great chemistry .. then i got engaged to another work colleague .. he was upset but he didn't say it out loud he just began to avoid talking with me or making eye contact ..he took 20 days off from work & went on a trip to US & when he came back it seemed that we both couldn't hold our feelings as we missed each other so we kissed passionately in the work place !!! ..i responded to his kiss for a while but then pushed him & said it was wrong we shouldn't as i am engaged & he's married ... i don't know how it was happening but since then we were kissing & hugging in workplace as we weren't able to c each other ouTside work ... i married in dec2003 when i came back from honey moon he was giving me the cold shoulder again & refusing to chat with me as we used since we r best friends .. then i went 2 him & told him why is he treating me like this we r friend ,, he told me u r married & i am trying to resist u then we looked 2 each other passionately & it started allover again .. the kissing & hugging ..he asked me once r u happier when u r with me or yr husband ??? - note we only were kissing & hugging - i told him i am happier with u ,, i asked him the same & he answered i am happier with u & i feel it's affecting my relation with my wife --- note that he doesnt love his wife & his family pushed him to marry her because she is sooooo rich , her father is a multi multi multi millionnaire -- lately in the mid of 2004 he left the work .. he told me u r the reason cuz i cant resist u & i dont want to cheat because it is not allowed by our religion the next week until he left he kept on kissing & hugging me so passionately as he never did,, i felt it though he never told me i felt the love ........ when he left i got dEpressed & my hormones go upside down causing me health problems ,,he stopped calling he only did once on my birthday & other to ask me if every thing is alright with my husband& when we met he gave me the cold shoulder .... i got pregnant in the beginning of 2006 then i know he was going to a place we went there once when he left the work & that he is hanging their gradually with some of our mutual friends ..so i started going there with my gfs when i was pregnant ,, he seemed happy to c me ...when i gave birth i disappeared 4 a total 4 months where i made a whole makeover with my hair i lost all birth weight ,,then i went there to our place , he was sitting alone this day .. when he saw me he was shocked , he kept on looking at me then he said do u know what i miss so much ? it's yr kiss ..i told him i miss him too .. i went to his private office & guess what we only kissed & he pushed me cuz he said he don't want to cheat .. i went to give him his birthday present 3 moths later & we kissed again & he pushed my clothes then he stopped saying we shouldn't do this & we should b together alone again ..... 2 months later he told me he wants me to do him massage therapy which i can do excellently ,, when i was massaging him he pushed me on the bed & kissed me wildly then pushed my head to do him a EXPLETIVE DELETED.. since mid 2007 till now we only met 6 times each time when we finish he says this should be the last time cuz this is wrong if u can dont come to our restaurant where we meet cuz i become weak when i c u .. but after a while he tells me he misses me & wants me to come to his office but always he refused to make an intercourse cuz it's prohibited to do it except with yr spouse - according to our religion or he get a punishment from the Lord - so what we r doing is only oral pleasure & foreplay for each other -- but now when i told him i missed him since we didnt meet since 3 months he told me i told u that it was the last time & i dont want to do this again i am afraid of Lord punishment .. dont open this discussion again ,, i told him ok no problem ,, i looked cold cuz i didnt want him 2 c me week but i have burning fire inside ..is there a way that i can get him into me again ..knowing that he still go to our place & wants to be beside me .. i am ignoring him but he is keeping his secret looking at me , he feels jealous when i flirt with other friends ... i want him to want me again ..... answer the question from the emotional side & don't interfere in infidelity matter i know each of us has his family & children but i love him sooo much i want to know does he love me ?? is there a chance that i can make him want to physically with me ?? what should i do to make him want those private moments with me ???[/FONT][/LEFT]
[LEFT][FONT=Verdana]thanks a lot[/FONT][/LEFT][/RIGHT]
[LEFT][RIGHT][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/LEFT][/RIGHT]

Last edited by Crew Chief; 07-13-2008 at 05:37 AM.. Reason: No obscenities, please!

 
Old 07-12-2008, 11:36 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,227 posts, read 21,981,509 times
Reputation: 23996
Huh??? I already posted on this....I`ll post again.
Yes...I think he loves you, but I also think that he is married, and so are you.
Get a divorce. He needs to divorce, then...the two of you can move on. Until then....leave it be!
 
Old 07-12-2008, 11:50 PM
 
2,601 posts, read 2,984,874 times
Reputation: 3019
Why would anyone who finds this morally wrong give you the kind of advice you're looking for?

For the record, I think he's using you because he gets something from you when he wants it.
 
Old 07-12-2008, 11:50 PM
 
Location: AR
564 posts, read 2,064,165 times
Reputation: 605
What in the name of blue-bearded monkey sex was that? Could anyone read half of what that said?
 
Old 07-13-2008, 01:20 AM
 
4 posts, read 28,241 times
Reputation: 11
Default Thnkx 4 reply

Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
huh??? I already posted on this....i`ll post again.
Yes...i think he loves you, but i also think that he is married, and so are you.
Get a divorce. He needs to divorce, then...the two of you can move on. Until then....leave it be!

thnkx 4 yr reply...... But i want to tell u that i suffer so much cuz since he decided to endthe intimate part this happened last week & us being just friends 4 the sake of our families he kept on coming to our place where wemeet with our mutual friends .. We sit & chat together but i cant forget our intimacy .. I relly suffer .. Doesnt he suffer when he look into my eyes & when i am that close but he can't touch ???? he is staring at me when i am not looking but when i catch him he just looks away ... What should i do to end those painful feelings .....helpppppppp

Last edited by shooshoo80; 07-13-2008 at 01:30 AM.. Reason: adding few words
 
Old 07-13-2008, 01:24 AM
 
4 posts, read 28,241 times
Reputation: 11
Default thnx anyway

Quote:
Originally Posted by undertheironsea View Post
What in the name of blue-bearded monkey sex was that? Could anyone read half of what that said?

HI ... i guess that myenglish language is good .... so it's either yr language is sooooooo bad ..or u don't have time or gutts to resume reading till the end of my letter

anyway thnx 4 trying
 
Old 07-13-2008, 01:27 AM
 
4 posts, read 28,241 times
Reputation: 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Content_Christian View Post
Why would anyone who finds this morally wrong give you the kind of advice you're looking for?

For the record, I think he's using you because he gets something from you when he wants it.

thnx but he doesnt use me cuz u dont knowhow much he resist doing this to the extent that some times he is hugging & kissing me & we are about to do ... u know .. then he just pulls himself back & says no this iswrong ... it took us a year of pushing & pulling like this till we became intimate & also it happens 1 times each 3 or 4 months & without real intercourse just foreplay
 
Old 07-13-2008, 06:36 AM
 
Location: Texas
2,329 posts, read 6,134,549 times
Reputation: 1579
Quote:
Originally Posted by shooshoo80 View Post

Please i need a reply for my problem , but please don't type an answer that is talks about ethics, morality & consequences of infedility. I just need to know if he really love me & how to win him back.

We were work colleagues since 2002, I was single at the time and he he was married for a couple of months when we first met, it started out as friends and we flirted with each other, we had great chemistry together.

I got engaged to another work colleague, which upset him, but he didn't say it out loud and he began to avoid talking to or making eye contact with me.

Then he took 20 days off from work and went on a trip to the United States and when he came and got together again it seemed that we couldn't hide our feelings from each other because we missed each other so we kissed passionately in the work place !!!

I responded to his kiss for a while but then pushed him & said it was wrong and that we shouldn't do this as I am engaged and he is married. I do not know how it happened but since then we have been kissing and hugging at the workplace as we are not able to see each other outside of work.

I married in December of 2003 and when I came back from the honeymoon, he gave me the cold shoulder again and refused to talk to me like we had in the past as best friends. I asked him why he was treating me like this and that we are supposed to be friends, he responded that I am married and he was trying to resist me. We looked at each other passionately and it started all over again. Kissing and hugging.

Once he asked me if I was happier when I was with him or when I was with my husband. - note that at the time we were only kissing and hugging - I told him I am happier with you, I asked him the same question and he responded that he was happier when he was witm me and that he felt that it was affecting his relationship with his wife. (note.. that he doesnt love his wife & his family pushed him to marry her because she is sooooo rich , her father is a multi multi multi millionnaire)

He left the job in mid 2004 and told me that I was the reason for him leaving. He couldnt resist me and he did not want to cheat as it is not allowed by our religion. In the weeks before he left he kissed and hugged me as he had not done so in the past (I am assuming this is what she meant.. trying to help here ). Although he never actually told me that he loved me, I felt the love.

After he left I got depressed and suffered from health problems. He stopped calling me except for one time on my birthday and another time to see if everything was alright in my marriage to my husband. I got pregnant in the beginning of 2006.

I found out that he was going to a place where we had went once and hun out with some of our mutual friends. I started going there with my girlfriends when I was pregnant. He seemed happy to see me at the time.

When i gave birth I disappeared for 4 months. During this time I changed my hair style and lost all of my pregnancy weight. I returned to our place and he was sitting there alone on that day.

When he saw me he was shocked and kept looking at me, he then said that he missed me a lot. Stating that he missed my kisses and I told him I missed him too. We went to his office and wound up only kissing as he stated he did not want to cheat.

3 months later I went to give him his birthday present and again we kissed. He again stopped and said we shouldnt do this and that we should not be alone together again. After 2 more months he asked if I would give him a massage, which I do well, and during this he pushed me on the bed and kissed me wildly then pushed my head to give him a EXPLETIVE DELETED.

Since mid 2007 we have only met 6 times. When we are finished he states that this should be the last time because it is wrong. He asked me not to come to the restaurant where we meet because he gets weak when he sees me. When I do not show up he tells me he misses me and wants me to come to his office but he always refuses to have intercourse because it is prohibited to do it except with your spouse according to our religious beliefs. We have only been orally pleasuring each other.

it has been three months since we have met and I told him that I missed him. He told me that he had told me that the last time was the last time and that he did not want to do this again. He is afraid of the Lords punishment and that he did not want to talk about it anymore. I replied okay no problem and I looked cold because I did not want him to see me weak.

I still have a burning inside and want to know if there is a way that I can get him into me again. Knowing that he still goes to our place and really wants to be beside me, I ignore him but I see that he secretly looks at me. He is also jealous when I flirt with other friends. I want him to want me again.

Answer the question from the emotional side. Please do not respond about the infidelity matter, I know each of us has their family and children but I love him so much I want to know does he love me ? Is there a chance that I can make him want to physically be with me ? What should I do to make him want those private moments with me ?

I retyped this whole thing (the run ons were killing me) for those of us who want to respond to this.. basically my response.. go out and get a life with someone else.. he doesnt want you or he would be with you.. I understand that you do not want to be hit with the infidelity matter .. but you know. It is staring you right in the eye... to post something on here and then ask people to give you an opionion you want to hear is like going swimming in a mud hole.. it wont happen...
 
Old 07-13-2008, 06:50 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,702,140 times
Reputation: 14495
You are married, he is married, I'd suggest you both go home to your spouses or both come clean to your spouses. Does your husband deserve a wife sneaking around behind his back? Does his wife deserve a husband sneaking around behind hers?

My advice is make the relationship legimate if it's what you want. The both of you are hurting two other people and don't seem to care about that. If you want to take up with this guy, get out of your marriage first. He needs to get out of his too.

There is no getting around the infidelity issue here. You may not want to hear it but it's the biggest issue here. If you want to be with him then leave your husband. If he wants to be with you, he'll leave his wife. It's that simple. If those two things don't happen, you don't belong together at all.
 
Old 07-13-2008, 08:53 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,000 posts, read 16,804,910 times
Reputation: 12316
I think you should see a doctor and taking care of that burning sensation problem first.
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