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Old 07-13-2008, 07:56 AM
 
Location: Miami
32 posts, read 215,188 times
Reputation: 54
Default why are white men/ black women couples uncommon?

Okay the most common interracial couples are white men/ asian women and black men/white women. The first one being very "acceptable" in American society and the other one nobody likes in their mind, but won't say **** in public (jokes).


anyways why is this combo so rare??? Seriously I've seen more Asian guys with White girlfriends than White guys wth Black girlfriends.

I know we like Black women, cause many white boys/ men are into hip hop and love the women they see in music videos.

Also their are a fair amount of black female celebs in the media who are considered hot. E.g. Gabirel Union, Tyra Banks, Halle Barry, Alicia Keys, Megan Good etc.


So whats up?

1) are we scared black men gonna kick our asses?
2) or we guilty bo slavery???

 
Old 07-13-2008, 08:42 AM
 
2 posts, read 23,875 times
Reputation: 13
none of the above. We just haven't found someone we are interested in.
 
Old 07-13-2008, 08:48 AM
Status: "Current ear worm - charming Billy..." (set 11 days ago)
 
Location: Whoville....
21,777 posts, read 15,865,297 times
Reputation: 11357
Ok, don't beat me up for this. This is just an observation from having lived in the inner city. My observation is that black women are strong. They are self sufficient. They take no guff. If a guy is looking for someone to look up to him (many men are. Many get off on a woman's respect.), he's not going to go looking there.

I have a lot of respect for the black women I've known because of their strength but I think it might be a turn off for white guys who may be used to less assertive women.

Not that all black women are this way and all white women that way but I just see a tendency for black women to be more self sufficient and assertive. Good things if you want to survive in this world but I've met a lot of white guys who are looking for a woman who needs taking care of.
 
Old 07-13-2008, 08:59 AM
 
1,556 posts, read 2,506,340 times
Reputation: 3689
The US as a society is euro-centric when it comes to the perceived value of race. Therefore a white male is less likely to want to procreate with a black woman than a white woman, or even an asian woman of whiter skin (aka. Japanese/Chinese over Filipino/Pacific Islander). Said relationships, with the advent of cultural icons such as John and Kate plus 8, with their multiple twins, along with the increase of white couples adopting asian babies, have encased white man/asian woman relationships and their offspring in a sort of " that chinese baby is cute" factor. In general however, they are still evaluated socially in a de facto caste system where the whiter your kids are the better off they will be, which is socially GENERICALLY true. Mileage will vary of course.

It's engrained in our culture. White skin is attractive from a cultural valuation perspective. If you were caucassian and lived for an extended period of time in Japan you'd come to consider certain features of local Asian women as attractive, not because all of the sudden it became so, but because we adapt our hard-wiring to the cultural and social valuations of those around us to our own condition in the hopes that our offspring will succeed. Black men/ white (and most often thicker, not a coincidence) women are another classic illustration of such trend. It's all about perceived social valuations.

Is it PC? No. Is it an abosolute condition? No, otherwise they'd be NO interracial offsprings. Should it change? (Perhaps the essence of your initial question). That will depend on the color of your skin, callous as it sounds. As a white man of Hispanic descent myself, engaged to a caucasian woman, I am not above this society's cultural vices and will not stand on a white ivory tower and suggest said valuations don't have anything to do with the fact that I am not generally attracted to black females, particularly the darker their skin. I like to believe it's because I am genetically attracted to peers who look just like me (reasonable explanation on the biological realm, and my fiance looks just like me) but once again I take some social accountability for the fact that (say if as a Hispanic I had brown skin or black skin and STILL felt attracted to white women) that our euro-centric social structure may play a part in such "intangibles". My $0.02
 
Old 07-13-2008, 09:13 AM
 
Location: Portland OR
6 posts, read 38,091 times
Reputation: 19
Default The friends issue can be a problem

I saw a good movie once with a black women white man (mixed race) couple and the main issue that drove them apart was what the friends thought of the man or women of a different race. The friends were polite but cold and it made it difficult to get together with couples because most of the friends of the black or white person is of the same race.
 
Old 07-13-2008, 09:23 AM
 
Location: Silver Spring,Maryland
885 posts, read 1,635,872 times
Reputation: 603
Well coming from a black woman this is what "I" think-and observe. Black women are fiercely dedicated to black men. I do think this is changing since there are more black women in/graduating from college and going on to professional careers. Black women also have an easier time getting into the corporate arena. We aren't seen as intimidating as black men are. Anyway, many black women I know say that they are not attracted physically to white men. Some that are open to interracial dating would prefer Greek, Italian, Hispanic etc...over white American dudes..

I think that white men don't know how to approach women of color or maybe they too fear the reaction of their own friends and family... The younger generation (after gen X) seem to be dating across the board, so I do think attitudes are changing.
 
Old 07-13-2008, 09:39 AM
 
470 posts, read 578,870 times
Reputation: 171
Default I can't speak for everyone but...

As a black woman, I have seen white men that I think are attractive but I could never see myself in a relationship with one. During graduate school, I was attracted to a white guy, he was very handsome and cool to hang out with but it never went beyond that. I just couldn't do it, it just felt like something was missing. I have had several white men come on to me but it never got beyond the introduction. I personally don't feel comfortable in a relationship situation with a white man. It is just something about black men that I love. When I settle down and get married, I definitely plan on it being a black man.
 
Old 07-13-2008, 09:42 AM
 
470 posts, read 578,870 times
Reputation: 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigbluelandrover View Post
Well coming from a black woman this is what "I" think-and observe. Black women are fiercely dedicated to black men. I do think this is changing since there are more black women in/graduating from college and going on to professional careers. Black women also have an easier time getting into the corporate arena. We aren't seen as intimidating as black men are. Anyway, many black women I know say that they are not attracted physically to white men. Some that are open to interracial dating would prefer Greek, Italian, Hispanic etc...over white American dudes..

I think that white men don't know how to approach women of color or maybe they too fear the reaction of their own friends and family... The younger generation (after gen X) seem to be dating across the board, so I do think attitudes are changing.

You hit the nail on the head! Myself and all of the women in my circle feel a sense of loyalty to black men. Dating a white man, feels like we are abandoning and giving up our men. Sad but true..... obviously many black men don't feel the same way.
 
Old 07-13-2008, 09:57 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
12,955 posts, read 21,492,877 times
Reputation: 10082
There have been several news articles in the last year discussing that black women are becoming more open minded about dating outside their race. It seems that their own families, particularly their parents discourage them from dating white men. In one article, I remember one black woman saying that her parents told it was okay to date any race except the white one.

Why more black women are dating white men | Jet | Find Articles at BNET
 
Old 07-13-2008, 10:11 AM
 
148 posts, read 441,966 times
Reputation: 56
I read an article where Sanaa lathan said that even though she has dated outside of her race, there is something about a black men that just feels like home.... with that being said Im a black woman married to a multiracial man (both of his parents are biracial so hes burmese, puerto rican, german, russian...people often assume hes just hispanic)...most of my firends and family just consider him white...I was repeatedly told how out of character it is that I am with a man that is not black. Most of the women i know consider dating outside their race a last resort...I will say it was not easy for me to in an interracial relationship but I just loved the guy, it snuck up on me and im grateful for it...we were friends first, had he of asked me out I would have def turned him down, but it sort of grew from our freindship
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