Black men and white women (statistics, friends, interracial, attraction)

[uglyblackjohn]

Originally Posted by miu

Well... with some single women, looking for a good man to date is a competition. Looking for a good man is a challenge for any woman no matter their skin colour. And from other threads in here, some say that black women are wonderful and deep. What exactly this deep quality is, I don't know. And in addition, there is black pride and them having a sense of uniqueness particular to them and sharing that collective history of having ancestors that were slaves. As an example, they will criticize one of their own who they feel has sold out and is acting "white" in order to become a success. They want to succeed on their own terms and being black. And contrast the way Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton speak publicly compared to Obama, Bill Cosby or Sidney Poitier. Anyway, maybe some of this hate from the black women towards black men dating white women could be that they don't want to compromise who they are, and they don't want to have to act "white" in order to date a quality black man.

Maybe they feel that a black man dating a white woman is him thinking that he's breaking out of his class and making it to some upper level, and dating above them his former peer group.

Your whole post seems to imply some sense of inferiorority on the part of Blacks. Is Tiger's wife superior to him solely because she is white? Was he marrying-up?

[miu]

Originally Posted by uglyblackjohn

Your whole post seems to imply some sense of inferiorority on the part of Blacks. Is Tiger's wife superior to him solely because she is white? Was he marrying-up?

Interesting that you would pick Tiger Woods as your example... he's only half black as his mother is Thai. Not only that, but he is not an average person. With all his golfing talent and his millions certainly elevated greatly his worth as a potential mate. And his white wife? Well she is quite a stunning woman. So it's more a case of gorgeous woman that made it just on her looks to be a trophy wife to a millionaire. A lot of successful black athletes, actors and musicians have beautiful white trophy wives.

For this discussion, shouldn't we just focus on more average people?

[uglyblackjohn]

Just so I understand... Mixed race blacks aren't really Black?
Average? What's average and what's stereotypical? Average ghetto compared to average trailor park or barrio? Average as in Baldwin Hills compared to Pacific Pallisades? Average multiracial neighbors with the same upbringing from suburban cities?
I'm Black and went to BYU-Hawaii Campus. There were seven Black males (the other six were on basketball scholorships). I chose my girlfreinds (there) based on who I was attracted to the most, not because she was a trophy.
John Mc Cain's wife is often called a "Trophy Wife". Is that because of his possition or race. The syndrome isn't endemic to Blacks.

[wclac]

Originally Posted by uglyblackjohn

Just so I understand... Mixed race blacks aren't really Black?
Average? What's average and what's stereotypical? Average ghetto compared to average trailor park or barrio? Average as in Baldwin Hills compared to Pacific Pallisades? Average multiracial neighbors with the same upbringing from suburban cities?
I'm Black and went to BYU-Hawaii Campus. There were seven Black males (the other six were on basketball scholorships). I chose my girlfreinds (there) based on who I was attracted to the most, not because she was a trophy.
John Mc Cain's wife is often called a "Trophy Wife". Is that because of his possition or race. The syndrome isn't endemic to Blacks.

I don't understand why people stereotype if black men marry interracially, their wives are viewed are tophies.

[Chowhound]

I guess this post isn't going to raise above the base.

Sad really

[K-Luv]

Originally Posted by uglyblackjohn

Just so I understand... Mixed race blacks aren't really Black?

To a lot of people, no. Black Americans are some of the few people that hold the notion that if you have even a smidgeon of black in you, then you are black. To everyone else, you are a little bit of this, and a little bit of that; no big deal. Halle Berry and the Rock are two examples of black non-black people.

You know, the white/black couple, is predominately overwhelmingly a black man with a white woman. You will occasionally see a black woman with a white man, but that is really rare.

The black guys that I have known who dated white girls did so because the girl was attractive, while the ones who dated white girls exclusively did so because the girls were, well, subservient for the most part.

[LovelyinLa]

Originally Posted by DaSkorpion

Born in England and currently living in the US - I can say I have dated a whole lot of flavors and what stops me from dating my kind (black women) is somehow complex. Most of the black women I dated in England compared to the ones here in the US are totally different. I just got tired of the date your kind trend because the black women here in the US I had the chance to date were all the give me, give me type they cared less if they had any form of education or worked an 8-4 or 9-5 job all they wanted was for you to take care of them.

I believe love is not a one way street and if two people are in love one person is not meant to be a sucker.

My advice to the black women out there who keep bashing other races about stealing all the good black men is - stop sleeping with every one on your block, instead of having 6 or more different kids with different men learn to cook and clean, get an education, stop the I am a lesbian BS after you are done popping out like 10 kids saying men ain't S***, learn how to take good care of your man and in turn he will take good care of you and treat you like the queen or princess you are.

And lastly stop coming into relationships with your empty hands learn to bring something to the table - if you have decided not to work because you think its your man's right to take care of you then am sorry you need to go back to living with you mom and dad because your man is not your father.

Life is not all about how good you look when dressed or how tight your azz looks we can get sex anywhere if we want to so if you think a relationship is all about your milkshake then please I beg you to think it over again....from a black man who now dates out of his race..!!!


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This is the most offensive post I've ever read. If you want to date outside your race fine, more power to you. But there's no need to make up excuses about it. It seems to me that you have a class issue and not a race issue. You seem to be comparing lower income black women to middle class white women. I'm a black women, I've never asked my bf for a dime. Why, because I do a great job of taking care of myself. I'm in my 30's and I don't have any kids and this is the case for all of my black friends. As someone in an interracial relationship I clearly have no problem with them. But it's always amazing to me when I hear people say they will not date their own (yes I hear white people say this too). It's a sign of self hatred, plain and simple. You may have dressed it up in a nice little "all black women are poor, gold diggers with too many baby daddies" bow, but it's self hatred none the less. When you have children (if you don't already) I sincerely hope you don't have any girls. If you do, I hope you've worked out your "issues" by then.

[LovelyinLa]

Actually, let me apologize for saying you have issues. You are allowed to think however you like. But just know they way you described black women in your post is completely narrow minded. IMO anyway.

[revelated]

Never understood this tendency by society to lean towards one race. Preference is one thing; outright blatant requirements are another.

I'm a man. I like sexy women. Who cares what color their skin is? If the style is tight, I'm quite alright, regardless of race.

I've dated almost every race and quite honestly, the only thing different about them is how they treat men - a symptom of upbringing, likely. I can't deny that, in general, the black women I've met don't know how to treat their man. It's the black men's fault though, for generating an image that leads the black women to believe that the way to a man's heart is between her legs. However, attitude goes a long way - LONNNNG way - to whether I'm truly attracted to someone, no matter how good they look.

That said, I met a white girl through a blind hookup, it was my first real date in 4 years and let me tell you, I was more entertained with her than I'd been with anyone. No nonsense, no expectations, no baggage...just a nice long conversation, movie, then more long conversation and a long goodbye. I wasn't surprised to learn that she was not born in America; that to me explained a lot about why she was so well grounded. And yes, that was a generalization.

What I don't like, is white women who try to act "street". Irritates me to no end, blatant turn off. Clearly, they were influenced by that culture and think that in order to fit in, they have to sit in. I don't care for that.

[SeattlitefromNC]

Originally Posted by LovelyinLa

It seems to me that you have a class issue and not a race issue. You seem to be comparing lower income black women to middle class white women.

...

I'm in my 30's and I don't have any kids and this is the case for all of my black friends.

Same here. I keep wondering where people are getting these ideas (I can only imagine that a lot of it comes from the mass-produced media).

All of my girlfriends are high-powered lawyers, doctors, engineers, and accountants. Most of us have no kids, and certainly no "baby daddies".

I keep wondering why people cling to the idea of black women as Hood Rat when the reality is so very different.

True facts: a full 40% of black Americans are middle-class and up. Most of that number are women, as black women overwhelmingly outnumber black men in graduating college and finding professional work.

That is what people don't want to hear, that black women are, by-and-large, not stereotypical. Oh, and we're not looking for handouts. We take care of ourselves, and that's about it.