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To the previous poster, what are you defining as middle class? I find this 40 percent number very doubtful. I don't know if even 40 percent of other races (which tend to be more affluent than blacks) would be considered middle class.
Please provide your source. Thanks.
I know a lot of black women, including several people who used to rent from me that fit the gold digger/looking for handout stereoytype. I know other black women who do not meet this stereotype but unfortunately the stereotypes outnumber the others in my experience.
Same here. I keep wondering where people are getting these ideas (I can only imagine that a lot of it comes from the mass-produced media).
All of my girlfriends are high-powered lawyers, doctors, engineers, and accountants. Most of us have no kids, and certainly no "baby daddies".
I keep wondering why people cling to the idea of black women as Hood Rat when the reality is so very different.
True facts: a full 40% of black Americans are middle-class and up. Most of that number are women, as black women overwhelmingly outnumber black men in graduating college and finding professional work.
That is what people don't want to hear, that black women are, by-and-large, not stereotypical. Oh, and we're not looking for handouts. We take care of ourselves, and that's about it.
That's because we're invisible. There could be a room full of black women, I mean the full spectrum from the poorest of the poor to the Affluent. Even though the majority of the women in the room are say middle class and up, if the lower income woman does something "ghetto", the it can be rightfully assummed that all blacks are this way. This will never change, why, because in my opinion that's the belief system in this country and we will always look for things that reinforce it. As demonstrated by that post. This is true for society as a whole, but it's equally true in the black community as well. Just look at the media, even in this day and age the image of African Americans that society is more comfortable with is either, ghetto or funny. When the Cosby Show initially aired it was said that it wasn't realistic. If the show aired today "they" would say the same thing. Meanwhile, I've never gone to a hospital and not seen black doctors or nurses. I recently went to an event for black lawyers and it was packed, but as far as society is concerned all of these people are invisible.
Like yourself, my friends are all, college educated, home owners and doing very well for themselves so it's a slap in the face when someone assumes that I have 10 baby daddies and would want a handout because I am black, is frustrating. But the worst part of this all, is that this statement was made by a black man. It's no wonder that 42% of black women have never been married, we are the least likely to marry and the most likely to be single parents. It's an uphill battle just to be seen as individuals.
To the previous poster, what are you defining as middle class? I find this 40 percent number very doubtful. I don't know if even 40 percent of other races (which tend to be more affluent than blacks) would be considered middle class.
Please provide your source. Thanks.
I know a lot of black women, including several people who used to rent from me that fit the gold digger/looking for handout stereoytype. I know other black women who do not meet this stereotype but unfortunately the stereotypes outnumber the others in my experience.
I'm not sure where the number came from, but I do know that the number of Black Middle Class has jumped since it was decided to include single people. Initially, only families were included in the statistics. So, the number of middle class (for any race) will vary depending on the criteria. I suspect if they are only using families, then no it wouldn't be the case. But if she's citing statistics where the only criteria is income, maybe.
Born in England and currently living in the US - I can say I have dated a whole lot of flavors and what stops me from dating my kind (black women) is somehow complex. Most of the black women I dated in England compared to the ones here in the US are totally different. I just got tired of the date your kind trend because the black women here in the US I had the chance to date were all the give me, give me type they cared less if they had any form of education or worked an 8-4 or 9-5 job all they wanted was for you to take care of them.
I believe love is not a one way street and if two people are in love one person is not meant to be a sucker.
My advice to the black women out there who keep bashing other races about stealing all the good black men is - stop sleeping with every one on your block, instead of having 6 or more different kids with different men learn to cook and clean, get an education, stop the I am a lesbian BS after you are done popping out like 10 kids saying men ain't S***, learn how to take good care of your man and in turn he will take good care of you and treat you like the queen or princess you are.
And lastly stop coming into relationships with your empty hands learn to bring something to the table - if you have decided not to work because you think its your man's right to take care of you then am sorry you need to go back to living with you mom and dad because your man is not your father.
Life is not all about how good you look when dressed or how tight your azz looks we can get sex anywhere if we want to so if you think a relationship is all about your milkshake then please I beg you to think it over again....from a black man who now dates out of his race..!!!
This post takes the prize for backwardness. It should be plain for everyone to see that this poster has NEVER dated a black woman. I repeat this poster has NEVER dated a black woman. How do I know? Just look at his post, it is chock full of practically every negative stereotype about black women ever invented by mankind. And he wants us to believe that he only developed these attitudes about black women after dating them? That his poor attitude about black women is the result of experience? That is nonsense.
DaSkorpion, your post is a fraud, and you're nothing but a bigot.
They have been hurt by their own race and they think another race of men are somehow "different", "wonderful" and "special".
or
They are "curious".
Based on the replies, it seems some even take great pleasure in saying I don't date men of my own race.
IMO
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glitterific
I have absolutely no problem with someone from one race dating another. But some posts on here make me sad to see why some are choosing to go down that road. It 'appears' that plain ole attraction isn't the number one reason. I think that's a shame.
Well... with some single women, looking for a good man to date is a competition. Looking for a good man is a challenge for any woman no matter their skin colour. And from other threads in here, some say that black women are wonderful and deep. What exactly this deep quality is, I don't know. And in addition, there is black pride and them having a sense of uniqueness particular to them and sharing that collective history of having ancestors that were slaves. As an example, they will criticize one of their own who they feel has sold out and is acting "white" in order to become a success. They want to succeed on their own terms and being black. And contrast the way Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton speak publicly compared to Obama, Bill Cosby or Sidney Poitier. Anyway, maybe some of this hate from the black women towards black men dating white women could be that they don't want to compromise who they are, and they don't want to have to act "white" in order to date a quality black man.
Maybe they feel that a black man dating a white woman is him thinking that he's breaking out of his class and making it to some upper level, and dating above them his former peer group.
Wull, I'm white and have been told many times, I'm very deep? Whatever that means...I think it has to do with questioning and going much further then the topic at hand...I always want to know more...?
I do really hope that some day...this race issue stops...I believe it's getting better, depending on where you live...but in order to progress, we have to forget the past and move forward...and stop the hate with our children....children are the future leaders of America...and when race is talked about badly at home, the kids pick up on it very quickly.
As I said before, I wouldn't mind dating someone outside my race, but....I'm thinking it would be difficult, due to the cultural differences...there are some very attractive men who work in my corporation...but, when the suits and heels come off, we all go home to our cultures, and to me, that would be the biggest downfall.
I attended a church once, that was predominately Black, and one thing they did, which was very gallent, I thought, but I couldn't practice, was, the women got their men's plate ready, served it to them, and stood back and waited while the men ate. Also, it seemed to me, the women were not expected to have opinions...
I know not every black culture is like that...but it is something I would definately consider as a deal breaker....
Listen, I was married to an Italian family...and they're culture was a bit twisted to me...and not every Italian family is like that...but it was perfectely acceptable and known that the men in the family ran around...
of course, it was never discussed or even whispered about...but I certainly couldn't conform to that either...and if I had known, I would have never married...now, of course, I've learned, and those are definately things one must look for...which is of course, the mentally compatible issue.
They have been hurt by their own race and they think another race of men are somehow "different", "wonderful" and "special".
or
They are "curious".
Based on the replies, it seems some even take great pleasure in saying I don't date men of my own race.
IMO
Ron, I took her post a different way...and maybe I'm wrong, but she was stating that the physical attraction part made her sad...it's much more then that one must consider...in any relationship...which we as a culture, no matter our race, seem to have forgotten is the mental and cultural compatibility...or at least, that is what I thought she meant....
This is the most offensive post I've ever read. If you want to date outside your race fine, more power to you. But there's no need to make up excuses about it. It seems to me that you have a class issue and not a race issue. You seem to be comparing lower income black women to middle class white women. I'm a black women, I've never asked my bf for a dime. Why, because I do a great job of taking care of myself. I'm in my 30's and I don't have any kids and this is the case for all of my black friends. As someone in an interracial relationship I clearly have no problem with them. But it's always amazing to me when I hear people say they will not date their own (yes I hear white people say this too). It's a sign of self hatred, plain and simple. You may have dressed it up in a nice little "all black women are poor, gold diggers with too many baby daddies" bow, but it's self hatred none the less. When you have children (if you don't already) I sincerely hope you don't have any girls. If you do, I hope you've worked out your "issues" by then.
I'm sorry, I don't take offense...there are many white women who feel the same way...
and this is my point...this is the way this woman thinks and feels...it's perfectly ok for her to voice that opinion...you don't have to like it...or agree, but she is not attacking you....she is however, voicing what SHE has seen, which doesn't have anything to do with you....and in some cases, she is right, but...there are plenty of white women who were raised the same way....and it's a very good example of the importance of parenting to instil in our kids, this is not a good practice...our children if educated properly, will go on to break this hopefully...but, we all gotta work together and do something about it and stop taking issues like this as a personal attack against our characters....we are all together in this as one...it's not a race issue, it is however, and very serious issue in parental education....which I might add, is true of a lot of races...some women, because of their upbringing believe their only purpose in life, is to get married and hang diapers on the line and take care of their men like mothers...that concept has to be broken...and changed for a lot of reasons...
Anyway we're all much deeper that the color of our skin. There is a spirit and a life energy that inhabits the "body" whether the body is black, white or green for that matter.
I'm sorry, I don't take offense...there are many white women who feel the same way...
and this is my point...this is the way this woman thinks and feels...it's perfectly ok for her to voice that opinion...you don't have to like it...or agree, but she is not attacking you....she is however, voicing what SHE has seen, which doesn't have anything to do with you....and in some cases, she is right, but...there are plenty of white women who were raised the same way....and it's a very good example of the importance of parenting to instil in our kids, this is not a good practice...our children if educated properly, will go on to break this hopefully...but, we all gotta work together and do something about it and stop taking issues like this as a personal attack against our characters....we are all together in this as one...it's not a race issue, it is however, and very serious issue in parental education....which I might add, is true of a lot of races...some women, because of their upbringing believe their only purpose in life, is to get married and hang diapers on the line and take care of their men like mothers...that concept has to be broken...and changed for a lot of reasons...
The problem with the statement was that it was directed towards ALL Black women. That's was the offensive part, I have a problem with stereotypes, especially when they are directed at me. However, as I said in my previous post, people are allowed to think however they like and I have no problem with that. If you think that I'm an ignorant gold digger with 10 kids because I'm black, whatever. Life is too short to worry about what people who don't know me think. But that's not going to stop me from speaking on it.
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